Pulse Wrestling’s WWE Raw Report
Not Live from Columbus, OH
Raw starts with a recap of Orton punting Mr. Cena’s head in.
Umaga (c) vs. Jeff Hardy – Intercontinental Title
Jeff tries some punching to start, but Umaga no sells it, and throat thrusts Jeff. Umaga keeps Jeff down, hitting a headbutt, and then running Jeff chest first, hard, into the turnbuckle. Jeff charges at Umaga, but Umaga back drops him over the top rope, and he lands on the apron, only to have Umaga superkick Jeff to the floor.
Umaga is keeping Jeff grounded, and hits a HUGE Samoan Drop. Umaga climbs the ropes, but misses a diving headbutt. Jeff dodges a few clothslines, and tries a sunset flip, Umaga goes to sit on Jeff, but Jeff rolls out of the way, and dropkicks Umaga. Jeff goes for a Twist of Fate, but Umaga shoves out, only for Jeff to run up the turnbuckle and hit the Whisper in the Wind for 2, when Umaga powers out. Jeff climbs the ropes again, and leaps off, but is caught by Umaga, who then hits a Catatonic for 2. Umaga is getting frustrated, and he climbs to the top rope. Jeff hits the ropes, and Umaga falls off, and Jeff gets a quick 3-count!
Winner and NEW Champion – Jeff Hardy
Umaga is flipping out in the ring.
Commercials. (During the break, Umaga rips apart the ringside area).
Vince & Coach are backstage with Vince’s defense team. Carlito comes in, and Vince says that because of the way Vince treated them last week, Carlito’s one-on-one match will now become a handicap match with Carlito teaming with Umaga to take on HHH. Carlito things that’s cool.
Maria is gearing up for her rematch with Beth. Santino comes in and Maria wishes that Santino consulted her when he asked GM Regal for the rematch. Santino says that he will be there to protect her, after a small amount of business he needs to tend to.
Regal is excited about how Raw started, and tells a Stagehand to find John Cena. Melina comes in, and whispers to Regal about some of the stuff she and Mr. McMahon did at the meeting they had in July. Regal is disgusted, and Stephanie charges in, and goes to slap her, as Melina flinches, she turns around into Linda, who then slaps her!
Santino comes out with Maria. Santino gets on the mic, and says that when his arm is better, he is coming after Simmons. He then calls Columbus a dump, and The Sandman comes out! Sandman gets in the ring, and Santino wants to know why he is here, and assumes that he is jealous, because he ‘make-a love’ to Maria, and Sandman ‘make-a love’ to his stick. Sandman beats him back up the ramp with the cane. That’s one.
Maria vs. Beth Phoenix
Maria jumps Beth to start, and tries to scrap with her, but Beth overpowers here, and then drops her in the Fisherwoman’s Buster for the pin.
Winner – Beth
Beth gets on the mic, and says that she will challenge Candice at Unforgiven for the Woman’s Title. She says that she is the perfect combination of strength, confidence, class & beauty, the uber-diva, the Glamazon, Beth Phoenix. She tells Candice that this is how a Glamazon gets the job done, and she hits Maria with another Fisherwoman’s Buster! Candice comes out and stares down with The Glamazon, and then tends to Maria while Beth walks away.
William Regal in the ring, and says that last week, he denied Randy Orton a rematch for the WWE Title. He the pleaded his case to Mr. McMahon, who also denied him unless Orton really impresses him. They then recap last weeks kick to Mr. Cena’s head. Regal then says that he gave Orton the night off, and has him via satellite. Orton says that John Cena did this to his dad, and could of prevented all of this if he only accepted a rematch for the WWE Title. Regal then says that at Unforgiven, it will be Randy Orton vs. John Cena for the WWE Title. Orton thanks him, and says that he hopes Mr. Cena never forgives John for this. Regal then says that we have an outstanding main event for tonight, and Cena strolls out, with no music. He is clearly very upset, and he walks down to the ring to confront Regal, and then jumps Regal. He tosses Regal to the floor, and then mauls him on the announce table. Cena locks on the STFU on Regal on the floor, and refs and agents come out to break it up. That’s two.
Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch are at the announce table.
World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. Paul London & Brian Kendrick – #1 Contendership
LonDrick do some quick tags, and works over Haas. Haas finally catches London, and hits a release German. Shelton gets in, and still has his Dru Hill hairstyle. WGTT now works over London, who finally gets a hot tag to Kendrick. Kendrick flies all over the place, and London takes Shelton out, so that Kendrick can hit Haas with Sliced Bread #2. That’s three.
Winners – London & Kendrick
Cade & Murdoch get in the ring and congratulate London & Kendrick.
William Regal is being tended to by medics at an ambulance, as Shane walks in.
Carlito hypes up Umaga, telling him that HHH was laughing at him after Umaga lost the IC title.
Vince with his legal team. Coach walks in and says that Regal is beat up really bad, and Vince tells him that he will have to step-up once again. One of Vince’s attorney’s tells him that she should have a more defense strategy, and Vince fires him!
Jillian Hall & Daivari vs. Mickie James & Cody Rhodes
Before the match, Hall & Daivari duo on ‘Summer Love’, even though Hall just had her wisdom teeth removed, and Daivari sings in Farsi. Mickie and Jillian start. Mickie kicks Jillian in the mouth, and she tags in Daivari. Cody & Daivari go back and forth, and Cody nails a DDT for the pin.
Winners – Mickie James & Cody Rhodes
Umaga & Carlito walk.
Triple H vs. Carlito & Umaga
Carlito & HHH start. HHH quickly dumps Carlito to the floor, and he calls Umaga into the ring. Umaga and HHH stare down, and Carlito comes from behind, distracts HHH so that Umaga and throat thrust HHH. Carlito and Umaga will not follow the refs order, and they are DQed.
Carlito & Umaga double team HHH after the bell. Carlito hits a Backstabber, and then Umaga hits a diving headbutt. They sit HHH in the corner, and Carlito puts a chair over his face, and Umaga charges, only to have HHH move, and he go ass first into the chair. HHH picks up a chair, hits Carlito, who then rolls out of the ring. HHH hits Umaga over the head 3 times, and he doesn’t fall, so HHH gets the sledgehammer, and that ends up busting Umaga open. Umaga is still on his knees, and HHH hits him in the back of the neck with the sledgehammer to finally lay out Umaga.
Vince, Coach and the legal team walks.
Vince, Coach and the Attorney’s get in the ring. He says that his family is here, not about his bastard son, but about the money. Linda comes out first to the old WrestleMania theme song. Linda says that, her being the CEO of World Wrestling Entertainment, and that she doesn’t need the money, but since he did sleep with all those woman, she can take him to court and take every cent he has. Vince said that she never understood, since he was out on the road all those lonely nights, and that is why everyone is watching right now, because of his hard work on the road. He thinks that Stephanie & Shane will understand. Stephanie comes out next. Vince stops her before she can say anything, he put together a ‘Father’s Love’ video tribute for her, which is the best of times from when she was born to her college graduation. They roll the video, and it’s highlights of their Father vs. Daughter No DQ Match from No Mercy 2003. HAHAHA. Vince is yelling at Coach. Coach says that someone must have switched the tape, and they show HHH on the tron backstage. HHH ‘swears’ he had nothing to do with it…with a smirk, he then waves hello to Steph. Steph says that despite whatever happened between the two of them, she still loves him, but she thinks he needs help, and wants him to step down as Chairman. Shane comes out next. Vince thinks Shane will side with him. Shane asks which Vince McMahon he is talking to. The ‘Take No Prisoners, Huge Entrepreneur” Vince, or the “Large Stepping, Grapefruit Swinging” Vince. He thinks that with help, Vince can change. Vince then says that he only cheated on him once, and it was with the floozy that birthed his Bastard Son. McMahon vows to become a better Father & Husband. ‘KENNEDY’ blares over the loud speaker. Kennedy gets in the ring, and says that everything happens for a reason. There is a reason why they came face to face after he found out one of the WWE Superstars was his kid. There is a reason why Kennedy’s last name is the same as Vince’s middle name. There is a reason why Vince demanded to know by next week’s Raw, in Kennedy’s home of GREEN BAY, WISCONSIN. He then says that he loves Vince how he is, and that he doesn’t have to change for anyone. A lawyer for the woman that mothered Vince’s bastard son comes out and says that the DNA reports are in, and Mr. Kennedy is NOT Vince’s son. The lawyer then says that Vince’s son will be revealed next week, but the mother left a clue. ‘Things are Looking Up.’
OK guys, this was my LAST Raw Report. I was only filling in for the summer, and I did enjoy doing this again, however I just do not have time for this anymore (plus, I’d rather watch Heroes then Raw). You can continue to read my Recaps of WWE & TNA PPVs!
Tags: Raw, WWE