Pulse Wrestling Roundtable for WWE Unforgiven

Welcome to Pulse Wrestling’s Roundtable for WWE Unforgiven. Tonight we see John Cena try to last a year as the WWE Champion, The Great Khali defend his gold against not one but two opponents, and a hell of a lot more. Come take a look at who your favourite Pulse Wrestling writers pick to win.

WWE Championship Match
John Cena (c) vs. Randy Orton

Paul Beasley: Ya know what? I think they’ll actually pull the trigger this time. I think they’ll have Orton win. But not the belt. Cena’s going to follow up his Regal beating with going psycho on Orton, and they’ll introduce us to Cena’s next underwhelming kayfabe character – the hardcore psychopath. He gets DQ’d but retains the belt. They haven’t done that cop-out ending for a while.

Winner: Randall

Iain Burnside: As readers may know, we have a secret staff forum. What they may not know is that if you try to type a message on it, you get a creepy photo of Widro gurning like a drunk Muppett auditioning for Fraggle Rock Returns on the page. It’s really rather off-putting. Still, “putting off” is a suitable theme for this show. WWE would have quite happily put off having to book it if they had the choice. You should all put off buying it, since that would merely encourage the beast. I would put off contributing to this Roundtable but, hey, it beats getting dressed. Don’t worry, I’m not quite naked. OR AM I?? Widrown that mental image, ye raj. Uh-oh, the Scots slang is creeping through. JAMES MCFADDEN FTW. Oh crap, now here comes the net slang. We need more regional net slang. What is the emoticon for “havering”? Where is my Proclaimers smiley face? What about last month, when I said Randy couldn’t fail? It was a tragic waste of a reference to a giddy Clash song, which is as good a reason as any to piss hate all over wee diddy Orton. ‘MON THE YLT. But now it’s September and Cena is one week away from being the longest running champion since Hulk Hogan wagged his finger in Moses face and squashed him to win the ten commandments, brah. Bless him. Still not greatly fussed about Cena but things like that tickle my inner fanboy until liquid comes out. Who ever thought we would ever see such a significant title reign again? I remember when two months on a trot without a change was cause for celebration. Also, there’s very little point in taking the belt off of their established star at this juncture. Not when said star (thus far) appears to be clean and healthy and utterly well. Not when his opponent may at any given time turn up backstage in a stolen hotel dressing gown and try lighting his farts with a joint to set a sleeping Diva’s pubes on fire. Also: headlocks. Not when they’re aiming for a Hell in the Cell blow-off next month. Not when there’s actually a sound storyline motivation for Cena going insane and eating Orton’s neck with a spork for a DQ. I’m tired of thinking about this match now.

Winner – JOHN CENA, as in he remains champion

Raffi Shamir: Last month I predicted an Orton victory and I was wrong. This month I’m gonna go for it again. I mean, if hasn’t been suspended with the rest of the guys, and he’s getting pushed to the main event, might as well give him the title until he burns himself again. Besides, as much as I enjoy Cena, he can do just fine without the championship belt.

Winner – Randy Orton

Danny Cox: I fully expected Orton to win at Summerslam and was shocked when he didn’t. Makes me wonder now if he found Hulk Cena’s weak spot by attacking his family. Or will Orton’s affection for syringes cause him to do another job hmmm, I wonder.

Winner and NEW Champ – Randall Orton

Mark Allen: I really think this is finally the time that John Cena drops the Championship. A year Title reign in this day and age is truly remarkable and I feel Cena will be back in the hunt by WrestleMania time anyways. Orton really has gained some momentum since the kick to Cena’s old man in the head. Here’s hoping he gets to keep the belt warm for more than a month before he gives it to Triple H.

Winner – RKO

Vinny Truncellito: I keep getting burned by predicting the Champ will drop the bling-belt, so this is the last time I’ll do so. If he retains here, only HHHis HHHighness will take the strap, likely at ‘Mania.

Winner – Randy Orton

Matthew Michaels: With the controversy surrounding Randy Orton, the only wrestler listed in the SI.com article – that detailed WWE wrestlers that allegedly received banned drugs from Signature Pharmacy – who wasn’t suspended, I can’t imagine WWE putting the belt on him. Time to build someone else up to face Cena, WWE, and keep Orton out of the spotlight, especially with Congressional hearings coming up… Plus, Cena’s only a couple days away from the first year-long run in quite some time.

Winner – John Cena

Andrew Wheeler: Well, this one screwed me at Summerslam, and I am still not smart enough to learn from my mistakes. We all know Orton is destined to be the next WWE Champion so that he may be decimated by Triple H. Unfortunately, the WWE steroid scandal has decimated the roster and screwed a ton of plans up (see my column for more on that), so who knows anymore. The next major PPV is Survivor Series, however we still have to get through No Mercy and Cyber Sunday before we reach Orton/Hunter. The WWE has two options, either let Orton win the belt here or let Orton win the belt at No Mercy. I would also venture that Cyber Sunday will see a repeat of the “Champions of Champions” match, which, if everything works out how I think it’ll go, should be a decent match. Now the problem with Orton going over here is that Cena’s been made to look like the bitch since Summerslam that losing here would seriously damage his credibility. They had Cena get punked out and punked out and then his dad got kicked in the head. He still hasn’t gotten a chance to redeem himself. While I don’t see Orton winning the title here, I think he’ll win the match. I see a good old fashioned DQ finish, with Cena snapping and wailing on Randy with a chair. That way they can do the rubber match at No Mercy since they’ll still be working with a thin crew. In fact, Booker’s quitting seems to solidify these plans. Since Hunter’s going to be wrapped up with Umaga for the next PPV and Shawn isn’t around, there isn’t another legit main eventer to jump up and take on Orton or Cena. And it makes no sense for Orton to win the belt here, since Cena’s rematch would mean that he would lose 2 PPVs in a row. I say they do the DQ here, have Orton win the belt at No Mercy and have a returning Regal prohibit Cena from getting another shot at the belt due to his assault on Regal a few weeks ago.

Winner: Randy Orton
Still Champion: John Cena

No-DQ for Carlito Only
Triple H vs. Carlito

Paul Beasley: And the job squad continue to queue up like a bunch of internet gamers in line to be spoken to by a real girl. Ho-hum. Once again we get to play the game. Even if the game is more like fox hunting, and a little uneven in the odds department. Too easy.

Winner: Steph’s wife.

Iain Burnside: Carlito needs the no-DQ clause because he isn’t quite white, so he isn’t quite right, so he needs all the help he can get to overcome his racial handicap. At least, that’s what I’ve learned from watching Hs. That funny business with the clappy Samoan was only the beginning. He managed to job that uppity royal nigger and his missus clean out of the business altogether. Next month he’ll get to hit the Samoan some more. Come November he might just start on Super Crazy, or perhaps even William Regal. After all, why be white if you’re not going to be American? It’d be like living on Cybertron when everyone knows you’re a Go-Bot, right? Oh, but, SWERVE, it turns out the Hs are Thor. Apparently the plot of the movie is that Thor gets sent to live as a human on Earth with his memory wiped of all knowledge of the Gods, only for it to start seeping through after Loki kicks over some cripple’s sandcastle. They should totally do that in WWE first. C’mon, who wouldn’t want to see the Hs in a Viking helmet with gay little feathers sticking out the side? I don’t know what Marvel character Carlito would be. In the eyes of the Hs, they’re all Black Panther. And he’s allergic to big cats.

Winner – HHHH

Raffi Shamir: Triple H has only been back for month, so there’s no way he’s losing, especially when the deck seems to be stacked against him, like in this case. Carlito will play the sacrificial lamb this month, and while some people will say he’s being elevated just by being in the same ring as Triple H (some people = McMahon lackeys), I don’t see how he can benefit from being just another notch on Triple H’s belt.

Winner – Triple H

Danny Cox: Somehow I feel a screwjob here setting up a longer running feud between these two or setting up someone else for Trips to get into it with.

Winner – Carlito

Mark Allen: Yeah, like Carly’s winning this one…

Winner – The H’s

Vinny Truncellito: C’mon

Winner – Triple H

Matthew Michaels: The right move here is putting over Carlito, albeit via cheating, but I just don’t see it happening. When’s HBK come back again?

Winner – Hunter

Andrew Wheeler: Man, I wonder who’s going to win this one. This match is perfect for Hunter for two reasons: (1) it makes it look like he’s overcoming the odds yet again and (2) there’s no chance of the crowd rooting for Carlito. Carlito is hardly a legit threat even with the weapons, and you can bet he’ll look like a bitch and job like a bitch. Carlito is hardly a threat and only got this feud because he wasn’t caught on steroids. Hunter will flatten him and then flatten Umaga and then flatten Orton. I guess Carlito can take solace in the fact that the WWE would even offer him up for the squash position on a PPV. Carlito hasn’t been remotely relevant since uh when did Jesus stab Cena? I’m kidding, he wasn’t even relevant then.

Winner: Triple H

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

Paul Beasley: If I had never heard of either of these guys, I’d STILL pick Taker here. He’s not gonna come back with all this hype just to lose. Even Vinny’s not THAT crazy.

Winner: Cab Calloway’s boy Mark.

Iain Burnside: When it comes crashing down, and it hurts inside, ya’ gotta take a stand, it don’t help to hide. Well, you hurt my friends, and you hurt my pride, I gotta be a man; I can’t let it slide. I am a real American, fight for the rights of every man. I am a real American, fight for what’s right, fight for your life! I feel strong about right and wrong, and I don’t take trouble for very long. I got something deep inside of me, and courage is the thing that keeps us free. I am a real American, fight for the rights of every man, I am a real American, fight for what’s right, fight for your life! Well you hurt my friends, and you hurt my pride. I gotta be a man; I can’t let it slide. I am a real American, fight for the rights of every man. I am a real American, fight for what’s right, fight for your life! I am a real American, fight for the rights of every man, I am a real American, fight for what’s right, fight for your life!

Winner – DEAD MUSCLE MAN

Raffi Shamir: And here’s another match where the outcome is obvious even to someone with the mental capabilities of a ring post. It’s Undertaker’s big comeback match, so how can anyone not give him the win?

Winner – Undertaker

Danny Cox: Please.

Winner – Undertaker the Smackdown Special Attraction

Mark Allen: Yeah, like Henry’s winning this one…

Winner – Undertaker

Vinny Truncellito: C’mon…

Winner – Undertaker

Matthew Michaels: Again, WWE needs some strong heels, so common sense says Henry should shock the crowd and beat up Taker. But anyway…

Winner – The Undertaker

Andrew Wheeler: Welcome back to Foregone Conclusion, the PPV. Taker’s back again and I don’t care again. At least he isn’t coming back as Chuck Palumbo, a guy I am so indifferent about I’m not even going to bother to see how he spells his name. But remember, he’s straight and manly because he builds bikes and he’s got Michelle McCool, who is lovin’ life and lovin’ giving her mild heat to a guy who couldn’t get over with a case of Red Bull and a ladder. Oh, but back to this match that I care so deeply about. I have always hated Mark Henry, which isn’t exactly a controversial position. He’s big and he’s strong, but so what? He doesn’t draw a dime. In fact, we got this stupid feud at Mania and I thought that match was the end of this nonsense. The only good thing Henry did was be used as a prop to get the belt on Edge, and we all know how that one turned out. Taker needed to go over someone, so why not Mark? I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if they released Henry. I know he signed a contract and all, but so what? He’s been wrestling jobbers for months because the WWE is afraid if he gets near anyone of even mild superstardom that he’ll wind up injuring the guy. Also, the WWE doesn’t need Henry for the size wow factor. They have Khali for that. They don’t need the powerhouse monster because they have Umaga. Hell, they don’t even need the longtime big fat black guy because they have Viscera. Mark Henry is dead weight (literally) on Smackdown and hopefully after he jobs to Taker, someone in the front office will realize that it’s time to cut the fat.

Winner: Undertaker

World Heavyweight Championship Match
The Great Khali (c) vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Batista

Paul Beasley: It’s gotta be Rey. Khali’s reign must end, for the sake of everyone’s sanity, and if they wanted to give the belt back to Batista they would have done so by now. But this will not be “an interesting clash of styles”. It will be a cloisterfeck. From beginning to end. Thank the Lord I’m not watching this crap.

Winner: Man-Child Mysterio.

Iain Burnside: I think that after this point it should simply be a running gag that Batista is in every single world title match on Smackdown, regardless of how little sense it might make. Hell, he shouldn’t even wrestle all that much during them. He can just sit on the top turnbuckle in a corner and take a gander at his Washington Post, or consult Lunchbox Anonymous pamphlets. He might spot a busty young thing at ringside, pick up a couple of JD and Cokes from JBL’s hat and head on over to shoot the breeze with her. Of course, he might then just get too drunk and start incorrectly using the T-shirt gun but that’s a risk I’m willing to take. Then he could get mischevious and nip into the ring with some of those steroids that he DOES NOT PURCHASE and stab Gary with them while he’s not paying attention, which, let’s face it, could be anytime, even when he’s looking straight at you. Then Gary would lose the match by DQ but lose the title to unwellness and there’d be a Battle Royal and BY GOD WE LOVE THEM ON SMACKDOWN. Rigs and stuff are the new foreign objects. Begone, steel chair. So, Batista can do all that and Rey can just flip around and jump off of stuff for ten minutes and Gary can look confused, even by his lofty standards, until he eventually gets bored and tries dancing. Then the ref ends it because, hey, c’mon now. And Dominik is a Skrull.

Winner – GREAT AND GORGEOUS GARY

Raffi Shamir: When I first heard that Batista was added to this match even though his name was linked to the chemical scandal, I thought he’s the designated fall guy. That way Mysterio can win the title by pinning him, which is more believable than pinning Khali, or Khali can retain by pinning Batista, which won’t hurt Mysterio so close to his return. But then Batista’s name was somewhat cleared and my theory was ruined. Batista failed to win the title in six PPV matches since Wrestlemania, yet somehow he keeps finding himself in title matches. Why is that? With his name no longer tied to the steroids scandal I can see hum winning the title here and then turning heel for a program with Rey Mysterio, otherwise the entire six months of title matches will even more pointless than it what it already is.

Winner – Batista

Danny Cox: Hate you! Hate you! Hate YOU no-one’s cool! F- it, I’m out!

Winner and NEW Champ – Batista

Mark Allen: This one I do see as a little bit more of a toss-up. It’s obvious that Undertaker will be coming back for the Big Gold Belt but it’s just a matter of who the Champion will be when he gets there. He’s got legit stories built in with both DAVE and Gary so it could be either one, and he’ll probably tangle with both en route to his meeting with Edge at WrestleMania. Gary has impressed me far more than I thought he could as Champion so I’ll say he retains.

Winner – Great Khali

Vinny Truncellito: Khali should retain, and only lose when it’s one-on-one so somebody can notch their belt with a David and Goliath victory over the Punjabi Nightmare.

Winner – Khali

Matthew Michaels: I guess the big question here is, do they want to segue into Khali vs. Taker again (no!) or some combination of Rey/Batista vs. Edge/Finlay? Rey’s the least likely to win, so I’m going with the little guy. Plus I don’t think there will be any other singles title changes.

Winner – Rey Mysterio

Andrew Wheeler: Okay, so let’s just remember who called this match MONTHS ago, shall we. I was the first person to talk about Rey/Khali, dating all the way back to Khali/Cena. The Great Khali as champ is as close as Vince is going to get to giving himself a blowjob. Khali has everything Vince loves; he’s big, he’s foreign and he’s got that ‘Holy Shit’ factor when you first see him. He also allows Vince to create his underdog extraordinaire, that being that pudgy guy in a mask who used to look like Rey Misterio Jr. from WCW. Here’s how this one plays out; you got Batista (who the WWE has no intention of putting the belt on) backing his buddy Rey, you’ve got Khali who needs to look unstoppable because there’s literally no one else on Smackdown and you’ve got Rey who is more over with the kids then anyone else this side of Cena. Since Dave was so “conflicted” against Rey in their match, he’s clearly going to still be looking out for the little feller. What that means is that his caring for Rey is going to cost him the title. He’ll take out Khali in some amazing feat of strength that zaps all his energy, and Mysterio will do that lame looking Dropping the Dime nonsense to pin Khali and win the gold. So Batista does all the work and Mysterio walks out the champ. Then there’s that tense friendship thing that should lead to a Batista heel turn which would make money. Unfortunately, that just doesn’t seem like it’s ever going to happen. I say a conflicted, angry Batista who talks about how he felt obligated to look out for Rey to the detriment of his personal success would be the perfect Bret Hart for a new millennium. Let him blame all of his shortcomings on Rey and let the fans crap all over him. Hell, you have time to turn him heel and turn him back in time for Edge if you so desire. Either way, Khali needs to drop the belt because that novelty has worn off and now there’s no one left to take the title from him. Sure, you could say Taker, but that throws off my little fantasy booking thing. There are still 2 more PPVs between now and Survivor Series. Edge doesn’t come back until Armageddon. We need something to do between now and then. If Taker is the one to unseat Khali, then that means we are going to get 2 more Khali/Taker matches minimum, and that doesn’t extend us to Survivor Series. Survivor Series needs a major match, and I say Taker/Batista 2 is the way to do that. Rey wins here, loses it to Dave and then Dave jobs to Taker in time to start a feud with Edge. Will that happen? No. The WWE will probably have Khali retain and let Taker beat him at Survivor Series since it is where he was “unveiled for the first time” and then he’ll either hold it through Mania or until injury strikes again.

Winner: Rey Mysterio Jr.

Women’s Championship Match
Candice Michelle (c) vs. Beth Phoenix

Paul Beasley: Hurt me Beth. Please.

Winner: The woman who could make me her bitch, Ms. Phoenix.

Iain Burnside: Gotta build up a dragon for Jim Neidhart’s kid to slay.

Winner – GLAMAZON PHOENIX, which sounds like a 1990s X-Man…

Raffi Shamir: Sorry, don’t care. I didn’t care about the women’s division since Trish retired. But I guess I have to pick one.

Winner: Beth Phoenix

Danny Cox: End it now!

Winner and NEW Champ – Beth Phoenix

Mark Allen: There is actually some depth and fresh matches in the Women’s division. A rematch would be in order regardless of who wins and if Candice wins she’s got Jilian waiting in the wings and if Beth wins she’s got a lot of unfinished business with Mickey James that hasn’t been explored.

Winner – Beth Phoenix

Vinny Truncellito: The era of the Glamazon begins!

Winner – Beth Phoenix

Matthew Michaels: I change my mind, there will be another singles title changing hands. Good for her.

Winner – Beth Phoenix

Andrew Wheeler: Seriously, I’ve been talking about this damn Women’s Title situation for months, and the verbiage hasn’t changed. Phoenix will demolish Candice and move into her program with Mickie James, the one that’s like 5 years in the making. Unfortunately, I think that the WWE needs to get at least 2 matches out of the Phoneix/Michelle feud, so while I can’t pick against Beth (the inevitable champ), I gotta think that this is going to end in a DQ.

Winner: Beth Phoenix

World Tag Team Championship Match
London & Kendrick vs. Cade & Murdoch (c)

Paul Beasley: Is anyone paying any attention to this? It’s got to be another win for Jim Ross’ Redneck Sphincter-Wrecking Crew. If only because with Haas out, Cryme Tyme gone and the Highlanders only there for filling a slot on Heat, there’s nobody else left for either team to feud with. So the best thing they can do is keep Londrick chasing the gold.

Winner: Cade & Murdoch

Iain Burnside: I love that they started repeating the Cade & Murdoch/Hardy Boys angle. It was so long ago. April 2007, wasn’t it? I remember those glorious days, when some British sailors took a package holiday in Iran, Boris Yeltsin went to the big potato distillery in the sky and London & Kendrick were tag champs for 331 days. Fortunately for them, another pair of black chaps were ditched from the brand that the Hs are on and so they get back into the title hunt. Their shot may have gone to Benjamin and Haas instead but whitey took a bullet for his homie, who is in the process of making himself look whiter. Or like Dennis Rodman. But white people love him, especially those whose names require a lot of Hs. Where am I going with this?

Winner – WHICHEVER PAIR OF THEM ARE THE CHAMPS GOING IN

Raffi Shamir: How long has it been since both tag titles were defended on the same PPV? I really can’t remember. London & Kendrick had a long, yet lackluster, reign with the SD tag titles, and I can see them having a better one on Raw. Give them the belts and start feeding them teams for a year.

Winners: London & Kendrick

Danny Cox: Can someone tell me what the point of switching the titles back and forth on the South African tour was? Is it to appease the Hooliganz fans so they can continue the feud a bit longer now since Cryme Tyme went buh-bye?

Winners and STILL Champs – Redneck Whirling Dervish

Mark Allen: Just as a fanboy I would like to Londrick win and have a nice reign like they did on SmackDown!

Winner – London & Kendrick

Vinny Truncellito: Cade and Murdoch aren’t nearly as interesting or exciting as the Hooliganz. Time to give the RAW tag division a wake-up call.

Winner – London and Kendrick

Matthew Michaels: Open the show with this, and pop the crowd with a HooliganZ win. There’s more tag teams on RAW to build a division around, and as much as I love the Redneck Wrecking Crew, these guys have proven themselves. The match can go either way, really, but…

Winners – London & Kendrick

Andrew Wheeler: So this went from being their first major confrontation to the rubber match in a matter of weeks. First off, Cryme Time might be the two dumbest individuals ever on the WWE roster. Think about this, they get a golden gimmick that they play to a T. Then they slack in the ring and get shipped back to OVW. Then they get brought back up and get over with the fans again, and are surefire locks to walk away tag champs. Yet even with all of this in place, they decide to pick a fight with a ref and Barry Windham? Over a f*cking house show match? There’s dropping the ball and then there’s dropping the BALL. Either way, I’m glad this happened, because this gets London and Kendrick out of the doghouse. On Smackdown these two were golden. On RAW, hopefully they will get the same love from the fans. Unfortunately, the best thing about being on Smackdown was that JBL put them over on a regular basis. On RAW, you’ve got JR who simply says that they are quicker then a hiccup and Lawler who has continued to screw up their names. Cade and Murdoch, on the other hand, have held these damn titles and pretty much done nothing with them. They are, however, the only heel tag team on RAW thanks to Charlie Haas’s suspension, so they have to keep the titles here. I for one will not mind seeing these two teams go at it a few times. Remember kids, Harley Race said that Murdoch is a lock to be a main eventer, and Harley Race would never lie.

Winners: Cade & Murdoch

WWE Tag Team Championship Match
Deuce & Domino vs. Matt Hardy & MVP (c)

Paul Beasley: Question – Do you job out your only senior tag-team in the division to singles competitors, or do you have two of your top singles guys lose to people dressed like Danny and Kennicky? Answer: Gotta be the latter. It won’t kill Hardy or MVP’s heat, and will probably lead to the obligatory beatdown of Hardy.

Winner: Dungeons & Dragons, or Tweedledeuce & Tweedledomino, or whatever they’re called. I don’t care.

4-3 to the heels on the night, and Taker makes a triumphant if boring return to the ring.

Iain Burnside: There’s a lot of criticism about the Whacky Mismatched Tag Champs gimmick. Quite rightly too, since it has been overdone in recent years. Still, given Hardy’s limitations and Porter’s health concerns, this is one instance where it actually makes sense and fits in rather well. Not for them the sight of Karen Angle turning heel on Sting even though he’s Kurt’s co-champion because Joe had already been turned on by her despite Kurt being a heel there while the Steiners, Dudleys, LAX, XXX and Sabin & Shelley look on with flacid intent. I mean, what else could you do with the Smackdown tag titles? The only potential team that could have meant a damn thing was Batista & Flair and, even if Ric hadn’t quit and Batista hadn’t gone off to NOT TAKE STEROIDS, they’d have had nobody to feud with. In fact, by this point Hardy/Porter must be in contention for feud of the year. Weird, innit? I’d expect them to retain here and add further fuel to their developing pitch for a sitcom in which two roommates who can’t stand one another are forced to keep up the pretence that they do in order to keep getting a rent discount from their landlord, who shall be played by Hornswoggle. By the way, on Booker’s indie shows there’s a guy called VIP who is billing himself as MVP’s brother. If Porter is not well enough to compete anytime soon, can it be too long till his fraternal acronym comes to Smackdown?

Winner – MATT & MONTEL

Raffi Shamir: Matt Hardy & MVP have the best feud in WWE right now. In fact, it’s the best feud in a long time. I just hope they will be able to follow up with a series of good matches. I think MVP will walk out on Hardy here, causing him to lose the match and the titles, which will finally lead to a match between the two.

Winners: Deuce & Domino

Danny Cox: Well considering the tag division consists of these two teams and the Majors who I believe are back in OVW then I’d say this little feud continues a bit longer until the Hardy/MVP bickering costs them the belts.

Winners and STILL Champs – MVP Version 1

Mark Allen: I really like this “wacky mis-matched partners who hate each other” angle with Porter and Hardy more than I’ve liked any of the others that proceeded it. There has been a lot of intricacies between them that haven’t been found in other similiar stories. It’s also been a brilliant way to prolong the Matt-MVP US Title feud without having them fight on PPV four months in a row. (I’m looking at you Punk and Morrison.)

Winner – Deuce & Domino

Vinny Truncellito: Deuce and Domino regaining could cause more tension in the already heated relationship between Hardy and MVP, but the dynamic their building as champs is also fairly entertaining. Let’s go with the champs retaining here, for now

Winner – Hardy and MVP

Matthew Michaels: Does it matter? Matt and MVP have been good as the team who hates each other, so might as well stick with it. If they DO drop the belts, it’s going to be similar to how Kurt and Sting did in TNA. I guess the bigger question is how close is WWE to putting the US belt on Hardy? I say get the tag belts off of them, and move this program forward…

Winners – Deuce & Domino

Andrew Wheeler: Smackdown, home of the talented guys who ultimately wind up getting buried on RAW. What’s the over/under on MVP winding up on Monday Nights? The guy has got that golden gift on the microphone and he might just get Matt Hardy over as a legit main eventer. Either way, MVP is going to be in the World Title picture sooner rather than later. I tell you what, for all the people who bury the WWE (me included), there is a huge future upside coming. The WWE is eventually going to elevate Matt Hardy to main eventer (to feud with Edge, a combo we know can go in the ring). Same goes for MVP. ECW’s got Burke and Punk, who are about as solid as it gets on Tuesday nights. RAW’s got uh Kendrick and London. You have the future Hart Foundation coming down the pike on top of all of that. Plus, Deuce & Domino have the potential to break out as major singles stars. This match should be an example of what the four can do. I know its wacky tag champs that hate each other and I know that TNA did the exact same thing, but unlike Angle and Sting who don’t need the rub, Hardy and Porter are the exact type of people who could benefit from the tried-and-true formula. They have been very entertaining up until this point, which is something I was never expecting to say about Matt Hardy since his return. Either way, D&D need the belts back and it’s time for MVP and Hardy to have their blockbuster match that they need to pull out to justify all this buildup.

Winners: Deuce & Domino

ECW Championship
CM Punk (c) vs. Elijah Burke

Paul Beasley: And the Default Championship match will be technically solid, but generate as much heat as trying to light a match in space. They have to keep Punk as Champ now, to at least lend credibility to his reign. Nothing more to say.

Winner: CM Diet Pepsi Punk.

Iain Burnside: Wait, I thought the European Title went back into Shane’s gym bag or something?

Winner – COCK MAN PUNK

Raffi Shamir: I wonder how Punk feels after winning the title, knowing he won not because management wanted to give him the title, but because the champ screwed up and they had no other choice. I bet he feels really appreciated. Still, he’s going to keep the title both because he’s only been holding it for a 10 days and because no other wrestler on ECW is even close to championship level. Besides, if the rumors are true Punk is just keeping the belt warm until Morrison comes back from suspension and takes it back. I just hope that this match will be better than the PPV matches Punk had with Morrison in the last few months. Hmmm, I just noticed that I picked Punk as the only champion to keep his title at Unforgiven. Surely that can’t be right.

Winner: CM Punk

Danny Cox: Match of the night and do you really think Punk is going to lose the belt so damn quickly after winning it? On the other hand, it did take twenty-six matches and Morrison being suspended in order for him to finally get it so ya never know.

Winner and STILL Champ – CM Punk

Mark Allen: Yeah, like Burke’s winning this one…Punk is keeping the belt warm for either Morrison or Big Daddy V.

Winner – CM Punk

Vinny Truncellito: No chance Punk will drop the strap this early.

Winner – Punk

Matthew Michaels: Punk should hold the belt for the rest of the year, with WWE really seeing if he can get over as a legit star. He’s drug-free, which should be a plus in ‘times like these.’ That being said, even if Punk’s title reign is set to be short, he’s not dropping it to Burke in a feud that, no matter how long a history they have, was basically thrown together a couple of days ago.

Winner – CM Punk

Andrew Wheeler: So Punk finally wins the belt and the next day the rumors are out that he’s a lame duck champion. So what? Seriously, so what? Look, I’ve been rallying against the way the WWE has handled Punk since my first day on the site and nothing has changed. He became the default #1 contender once Lashley left and had it not been for Morrison’s steroid bust, one has to wonder if they ever were going to give him the title. Even worse, they are setting his reign up for failure. First, they rush this match with Burke. Surprisingly, they are using the history between the two in order to hype the match. Too bad it’s still the same two guys we’ve seen wrestle a hundred times. Yeah, these two have had amazing matches, but they need to do something different here to really shake up fan interest. The second reason Punk is doomed to failure is that he’s going to wind up facing Viscera. Viscera is not over because no one wants to see him wrestle. He’s terrible. He’s slow. He’s the guy you didn’t want to see on Heat in the first place. Here’s my suggestion, and it’s a little out of left field. Move Val Venis to ECW. You can change his gimmick (hell, the guy wrestled in a mask in Mexico) or just drop the porn angle. The fact is, Val Venis can work and has a great look. He could work with Punk and make the guy look like a million bucks. As far as the match itself, of course Punk is going over. Thankfully, he’s in there with someone who can produce in the ring. Hopefully, Cor Von returns and can spare us seeing Punk/Viscera. More likely then not, Punk’ll drop the belt to Morrison and Cor Von will be brought back as the face to take the title off John.

Winner: CM Punk

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