The Hills took a week off this week to “catch” us up. But have no fear, we do add TWO new shows to our weekly MTV viewing schedule this week. That makes 6 shows total. So be sure to check out all of your old favorites and your possible new favorites, featuring some bi-sexual activity and pageant queens. Lets mix things up…
MONDAY
The Hills
Welcome to Halftime! That’s right we are halfway through the third season of this show and this week MTV presented “The Hills: Season Three Cram Session”. Basically, a fancy way to call this a “recap episode”. They run down all of what has happened in this season so far. They do throw in some “deleted scenes” throughout this episode. But nothing really to blog about. Finally, they give us a teaser of what is to come. I won’t go in-depth on this either, so lets move on…
Life of Ryan
This week is the next stop in the “Dew Action Sports Tour”. It’s a series of five events and Ryan wants to do well in them. Two issues with that. One his friend Casey wants to be on “Team Ryan”. He wants to have a job and his mom makes him assistant to the assistant. Ryan also has to deal with his dad either coming or not coming and if he does come, will he leave early?
The job with Casey doesn’t work out so well. Casey gets pissed off when Ryan actually wants him to “assist”. Never hire your friends. That’s rule #1. Ryan then basically fires Casey. He wants to be friends more than anything else.
Ryan talks to his dad and tries to smooth things over with him. He does show up in Portland for the next skating event. He even tries to comfort him when Ryan hurts himself. See below. Ryan is not in the mood, though. In the end, Ryan’s dad tries to tell Ryan that he is just trying to be honest with Ryan and help him. Not just pat him on the back.
As for Ryan’s skating competition, he only finished in second place. The main reason was because he pretty much hurt his arm during the run. It is somewhat broken. Ryan has to be in a cast for two weeks. Ryan is disappointed in himself, but he is still in the overall points lead.
TUESDAY
A Shot of Love with Tila Tequila
MTV has been a first to do a lot of things, including being the first to have a reality television show. Now MTV is swarming with them. There are a countless number of them introduced each year. This time MTV decided to be the first to give the world a “bi-sexual dating show”. In a way in makes sense, since today it’s not all about being either heterosexual or homosexual. Being bi-sexual is more common than many may think, especially among the young 18-34 demographic that MTV targets.
The person everyone wants to be with on this show is Tila Tequila, whose real name is Tila Nguyen. Tila is 26 years old and is a model, who turned into a “celebrity” after the launch of her popular MySpace page. She was Playboy’s Cyber Girl of the week for April 22, 2002, consequently winning the title of the first Asian Cyber Girl of the Month. That led to her own website and countless magazine covers including Maxim Magazine. She also is a independent musician, who releases her music on iTunes mainly. Oh, did I mention she is also bi-sexual.
This dating show is a little different. Tila will have to pick one person out of 32 possible candidates to be the “love of her life”. There are 16 straight guys and 16 lesbians to pick from. Which side will Tila chose? Only time will tell, but lets run down the contestants.
The Guys
Ryan
Steven
Lance
Marcus
Michael B.
Rob
Eddie
Eric
Michael R.
Rami
Bobby
Domenico
Ben
Alex
Ashley
Greg
The Girls
Ashli
Amanda
Grace
Ellie
Dani
Brandi
Lala
Krystal
Chaos
Brenda
Sara
Rebecca
Scout
Steffanie
Vanessa
Keasha
Tila gets to know the guys first. They all have to give her a gift. They are all pretty interesting in their own way. The first bit drama happens between some unique characters. Domenico is from Italy. Marcus has a REALLY weird laugh. Ashley is pretty much country. Domenico asks the other guys if they would sleep with a guy for 10 million dollars. Marcus says Americans don’t do that. Marcus talks bad about Domenico with Tila. Ashley doesn’t like that and calls him out on it. They almost fight, but Tila comes out to break things up. Tila says that’s a “typical guy thing”. Too much testosterone going on there. Tila wastes no time as she eliminates 5 guys right away. They areBen, Rami, Michael R., Lance, and Greg.
Now it’s the ladies’ turn with Tila. Another interesting mix of lesbians. Some are more “butch” than others. Keasha is the drunk girl of the group. She likes to say “Hey girl, HEY!”. Yes, it does get annoying. Meanwhile, Tila makes out with various women. She then makes them dress up in outfits and try to pick her up basically. Tila likes “lipstick lesbians” apparently. The first five girls cut here are Scout, Ellie, Chaos, Brenda, and Keasha. Thank god, Keasha was a trainwreck!
Now it’s time for the bomb to be dropped. The girls and guys meet for the first time and find out the whole truth about this dating show. Both groups are pretty shocked to learn that Tila is bi-sexual and that they are all competing for Tila’s affections. We won’t get their exact reactions until next week, though. So stick around…
WEDNESDAY
The Real World: Sydney
Tick, tock, someone’s time is about to be up in this house. It all goes back to a silly girl fight between Parisa and Trisha over Alex. Trisha has a boyfriend, but wants to make out with other guys. Parisa thinks Alex is free game. Apparently Shauvon is on Trisha’s side. She calls Parisa shady and she can’t trust her. Now this is confusing so stay with me. Parisa tells Dunbar what is going on. Kelly Anne says Dunbar had no idea before Parisa told him. So now Shauvon is mad since Parisa basically did the same thing she did. Parisa got mad that Shauvon told Trisha about Parisa and Alex, and told Parisa about Trisha and Alex as well. So now Parisa is doing the same thing apparently. My head is spinning so I will move on.
Basically, Shauvon has grown to be close with Trisha. Must be because they are blonde. Meanwhile, Parisa “drunk dials” Alex. Trisha joins in the conversation and apparently Alex likes Trisha more and feels bad for kissing Parisa, etc. Parisa tells him to not feel sorry for him. She is going to be okay. Alex then tells a different story to Parisa. So a bunch of people are lying or perhaps just Trisha. The best part of that was Cohutta and Kelly Anne all decked out in cowboy hats walking by with their drunk selves. I want to see more of that!
Shauvon starts talking smack to Parisa. Parisa likes the boys more than girls apparently. Now Shauvon starts yelling “****” this and “****” that. Cohutta and Issac jump in to break things up. They find this all funny. Issac says Shauvon is a big fan of getting drunk and acting like a fool basically. Cohutta starts to argue back with Shauvon, but then stops because he realizes he looks stupid and she is not worth the time. The best thing is about this is it started over a freakin’ grilled cheese sandwhich. Shauvon is laugh-out-loud funny when she says that “real men don’t talk smack to real women”. That’s true, but she is not a woman at all. She is an immature little girl still. They throw drinks and food at each other. Cohutta then yells at the grilled cheese sandwich. So Shauvon yells out some more curse words to Cohutta. Yep, another example of a “real woman”. HA!
Parisa and Shauvon talk. Parisa says that a true friend wouldn’t yell at another friend like that. Shauvon thinks Parisa is not listening to her. Blah, blah, blah. Alex, Parisa, and Trisha all bring the drama to the club. Alex finally leaves, because he is sick and tired of being in the middle of drama. Meanwhile, Parisa gets sick outside of the club. Trisha tries to act like a friend now and help her, but Parisa wants none of it.
When everyone gets home, the real fireworks begin. Parisa throws up everywhere and finally tells Trisha off. Nothing but the truth, of course, but sometimes the truth hurts. Parisa yells curse words at her as we get another freakin’ “to be continued…”! Just get it over with! I want to see the real action. Stop teasing! Hopefully we won’t be disappointed next week.
Pageant Place
Donald Trump introduces us to this show. He holds a lot of beauty pageants. And the winners of those pageants get to live in some apartment that he gives them. Two girls are living in this apartment right now. We have Miss Teen USA 2006, Katie Blair. She was also friends with the 2005 winner, Tara Conner, who was part of the big “partying too hard” controversy. There is bad blood between them. We then have the reining Miss USA, Rachel Smith. She is the “anti-Tara Conner”. The newest winner to live in the apartment is Riyo Mori from Japan. She beat Rachel for Miss Universe this year.
Basically, this is three beauty pageant winners living in the same house together. They all have a history with each other as well. Should be catty fun to the max! Especially since Trump wants Tara Conner to come back to work for the Miss Universe organization.
Here is what happened in this episode. Riyo forgets her ID and her passport. But she still makes it on the plane by showing her “Miss Universe” stash. Must be nice. We get to see Rachel’s fall 14 million times during the Miss Universe competition. Katie totally lies and says she didn’t make out with Tara. I can GUARANTEE you that they did, especially since they were probably drunk. I say for girls of that age, it’s probably 7 out of 10 who have kissed other girls when they were drunk. I’m confident in that! By the way, there is nothing wrong with that.
Tara walks onto the show. She explains that Katie and her don’t like each, because Katie thought Tara was after her boyfriend, Josh. Good name first off, but this Josh is nothing to fight over. I was going to try and explain what he looks like, but I can’t. He could be a cheesy 1970s Italian bookie, though. But we will save the meeting of the minds between Tara and Katie for the next episode.
As for the show overall, I suppose it’s decent. Not as bad as I thought. It’s like The Real World and The Apprentice mixed together, except not really. It’s not really that original, so you probably won’t be seeing anything you haven’t seen before. But I suppose the dynamic of beauty queens of this stature living together could be interesting. We will see, though.
THURSDAY
Celebrity Rap Superstar
We get to find out who goes home right away from the “final three”. Shar Jackson is the first one to make it to the finals. It’s between Kendra and Sebastion now. Shar will face off with Kendra. Sebastion is going home! I guess sex appeal won out there. Shar and Kendra sing three songs tonight. Just like American Idol. Anyways here is how the finals went down:
Kendra Wilkinson raps “Hot in Herre” by Nelly first. Her second song was “Baby Got Back”. America picked that song, by the way. Her final song was called “Epiphany”, an original track. She still can’t rap that well. She can shake her ass, though. It got her this far, but will she be able to win based on that alone? More than likely.
Shar Jackson raps “Get Ur Freak On” by Missy Elliot first. Then America wants her to rap “Bust A Move”. Her final original track was called “Let It Blow”. She can definitely rap, so if she doesn’t win then America really like ass shaking better than rapping.
Tune it next week to find out who wins!
And that ends the 54th volume of the “MTV Mix”! If you have any questions, comments, suggestions, or feedback of any kind..send them my way!!
I’ll see you next time when we mix things up a bit!
