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Welcome back to the coverage you depend on the most for your Monday Night viewing pleasure. We’re just six days away from the Bash! What are you waiting for? Grab some popcorn and LETS GET RAW!
WWE: The World Is Watching
Last Monday on RAW: Batista wins the #1 Contendership to the World Championship and Kane has a meltdown. Michael Cole gets nominated for his spectactular performance in his role as Kane’s playtoy. Jerry Lawler gets nominated for his performance as the hero and the martyr.
We are joined by both Shane and Stephanie. They are both warning everyone that if this continues, they will put a stop to it.
And yet two people don;t know how to listen as Shawn Michaels and Chris Jericho are BRAWLING AT RINGSIDE! Lance Cade breaks things up and the referee contigent try to appease Stephanie and Shane.Â
HELLFIRE & BRIMSTONE Erupts! EVIL Kane makes his way to the ring with a sack of sorts. Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler stand up and King is Cole’s bodyguard. EVIL Kane scares away the timekeeper and Lillian Garcia and he stares a hole into King and Cole. He says I’M SORRY to the two and he walks away so it seems.Â
We go backstage and Michaels gets into it with Lance Cade! Hell is breaking loose tonight! I say we need a divas match to calm things down. Lo and behold, we get one.
Mickie James v. Katie Lea Burchill
non-title
For the record, Mickie James is 1-2 against Katie Lea. The bell sounds and they lock up in the center. Katie quickly gets a Full Nelson, to which Mickie rolls her up for two. Another rollup gets another two for Mickie. Mickie gets sent to the corner and Katie looks to strike, but Mickie goes for the Mickiecurana, only to be blocked! Katie pulls the hair into a reverse jawbreaker and that gets two! Katie clubs away at the back of Mickie’s head and she looks for a choke. Mickie fights back up and Katie hits an awkward armdrag, with Mickie landing on the back of the neck and injured arm. Katie crimps on the neck, but Mickie bridges up and gets out of it. Katie thrusts Mickie to the corner and she kicks her. MickieDDT from the top is prevented, but the Mickiecurana off the top does not! Mickie flies off with the top rope Thez Press and she gets the win!
Winner: Mickie James
Grade: B
They spar, but Paul gets involved and holds Mickie at bay while Katie fires away with some slaps. Kofi Kingston comes in for the rescue and he challenges Paul to a match for the Intercontinental Championship! Paul makes his way back to the ring as we go to break.
Commercials.
Kofi Kingston v. Paul Burchill
WWE Intercontinental Championship
We are JIP as Paul runs into Kofi. Kofi thrusts into Paul in the forner, but Paul gets out of the corner. Rollup by Kofi and that gets two. Kofi works on the arm, but Paul is strong. Off the ropes and Kofi gets two following an arm drag! Back to the arm as Kofi is in control. Paul is back up and he SLAMS Kofi down. Off the ropes…DROPKICK! Kofi gets two and he returns to the arm, which must have been injured during the break or something. Burchill pulls the hair to get the advantage. Kofi looks for a rope assisted springboard, but Paul catches the legs and he SLAMS KOFI AND KICKS HIM ON THE WAY DOWN! That gets two. Paul locks on a waist lock, focusing on the ribs after that stiff kick. Kofi gets back up and he elbows his way out. Kofi is elevated in the air and dropped south. Paul gets a two count following an elbow drop! Another pin attempt following a gutwrench suplex gets two as well. Back to the corner…Kofi battles back with rights and kicks. Clothesline connects as does a sledge. Jamican Leg Sweep hits and Kofi drops the BOOM BOOM elbow! Katie Lea tries to interfere, but Mickie stops that. Paul is back up..TROUBLE IN PARADISE connects! Bye bye Paul Burchill.
Winner: Kofi Kingston
Grade: B+
Santino Marella is with “that guy” and he issues an open challenge to anyone. “That Guy” leaves and EVIL Kane walks in wondering WHERE IS PUNK? Santino says to try the Pepsi Machine, but EVIL Kane looks about ready to kill. Santino sends him on his way and he takes a half bottle of Tums. Glorious.
Commercials.
Kane is with CM Punk. Deep down inside, he is dead. Kane respects Punk, but he wants a one-on-one match with Punk tonight. Punk accepts and wonders what is in the bag. Kane leaves.
We are with Todd Grisham, who is with John Cena. Todd hypes the Parking Lot Brawl between Cena and JBL. Cena has tried to be neutral, but he cannot anymore. At the Bash, it will be a war of sorts. Health will be compromised. Cena dismisses Todd and Cena says it like it is. They have a lot of history together and it makes Cena sick that JBL is not a Great American. Cena talks about how JBL will see fear. Cena is really furious tonight and it shows with this promo. He officially accepts the challenge. In comes Cryme Tyme. Cena has a challenge. Him and Cryme Tyme against JBL and two people of his choosing.
Commercials.
We’re back as Santino is in the ring and is pissed off. He wants to know who has the guts to face him. Out comes Beth Phoenix. Let’s see: Losing to a celebrity…check; Losing to a midget…check; Losing to Rey Mysterio…check; Losing to Maria…check; Losing to Beth Phoenix…
Santino Marella v. Beth Phoenix
Intergender Match
Test of strength means nothing as neither gives an inch. Beth has bigger muscles than Santino. Thez Press by Phoenix and she wails away. Beth is in a headlock and she picks Santino up and drops him on her knee. Beth PICKS HIM UP AGAIN and she slams him down! She gets sent to the ropes. Santino charges and he misses. Rollup by Phoenix…check.
Winner: Beth Phoenix
Grade: A+ (For Comedic Value); C overall
Kelly Kelly is in action next!
Commercials.
Welcome back and Kelly Kelly makes her way to the ring dressed in gold! Out comes the World Tag Team Champions, Ted DiBiase & Cody Rhodes. Another intergender match? They take the microphone and they don’t care about her match tonight, so they demand her to leave. Cody Rhodes says that they’ve suddenly got bad. They aren’t their fathers – only better. Ted takes the stick and declares that they are the future. Out comes Jim Duggan. Somebody call out the JOB Squad. He talks to them from the heart, saying that he knows them since their childhood. He’s teamed up with Dusty Rhodes and competed against the Million Dollar Man. As performers, they’ve at a whole new level – but as people, they need to grow up. Cody takes the microphone and he talks down Jim’s career. Ted Jr. copies a quote from Steve Austin. He asks Jim if he’s capable of winning championship gold. They leave the ring, and JBL comes on the TitanTron. JBL invites them to the MAIN EVENT by teaming with him to face the CTC! They seem to approve!
Up next: CM Punk v. EVIL Kane!
Commercials.
We’re back! EVIL Kane comes out, still holding out the sack!
EVIL Kane v. CM Punk
non-title
This is going to be bad. The bell sounds and they feel each other out. Kane choke tosses Punk to the corner. MMA kicks connect, but don’t faze Kane. Boot to the head on Punk as we hear hissing sounds near the sack! Punk kicks Kane out of the ring, buying him some time. Kane gets crazy and he looks to bring a chair into play, but he decises against it. Punk goes for a baseball slide, but Kane blocks it. Back inside, KANE RUNS INTO PUNK! Cover gets two for Kane! Kane nails a hard scoop slam and a low dropkick for another two count! Kane gets a headlock applied, but Punk kicks out of it and runs into a boot by Kane! Kane returns to a headlock, driving the air out of Punk. Punk fights back, but Kane clubs the back. Punk looks for the victory roll, but Kane chokes him back to his feet. Punk nails kicks from everywhere! Knee lift connects but the bulldog does not! Punk dropkicks Kane’s knees and hits an enzugiri for ONE! Punk goes up top…Crossbody gets two! G2S try, but Kane battles out of it. GOOZLE! KICK TO THE TEMPLE! Kane knocks Punk HARD out of the ring! Punk sends Kane against the ring post! Punk bails off the apron and he knocks Kane off! Punk beats the count!
Winner:Â CM Punk
Grade: B
Kane has SNAPPED! He throws chairs into the ring! Kane slides in the ring and he beats the holy hell out of Punk! Kane sandwiches Punks head in between the chair and he GOES TO THE TOP! Batista makes the save and he SPEARS Kane! Chair shot connects on Kane! Batista picks Punk up and they exchange some words. Punk calls for a handshake, but Batista says that he only did it to protect his title match. PUNK IS OFFENDED by shoving Batista! Batista responds by hitting the spinebuster!
Last week, the CTC destroy JBL’s $175K limo! The six man tag match is TONIGHT!
Commercials.
On Friday: Edge and Vickie get married. No comment.
Chris Jericho is here and he has a match tonight!
Chris Jericho v. Paul London
Paul London is on RAW! The bell sounds and Jericho goes after London! London scores some kicks, but Jericho hits a headbutt. Boot to the head connects and he TOSSES HIM OVER THE TOP! On the outside, he fights with the fans in trying to expose the barricade, and he is unsuccessful! Inside the ring, he chokes London against the ropes. Slap to the face connects and Jericho continues to choke away. More slaps connect, but London plays possum and hits a roundhouse! London gets sent to the ropes, but the splash misses! Lariat connects by Jericho and he sends London to the ropes. Jericho hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and calls out for Michaels. Liontamer connects and London taps!
Winner: Chris Jericho
Grade: C
Jericho has the mic and he asks London to take the loss and decide which path he should follow. Jericho’s path provides greatness while Michael’s path provides deceit and pain. Shawn Michaels comes out on the stage. He says that he won’t change Jericho’s mind and at the Bash, the worst is truly yet to come.
Commercials.
Welcome back to the show! In the back, Jaime Noble flirts with Layla. She doesn’t date short men. Jaime says that he’s average height, so he is going prove it. Enter SNITSKY! Jamie pisses Snitsky off and Layla tries to save Jaime from further embarressment.
Jaime Noble v. Snitsky
They come out to the ring. Good to see Snitsky wrestling after getting his nose broken. Jaime focuses, but Snitsky sends Noble to the corner. BOOT TO THE NOSE! Noble flies into a BIG BOOT! Snitsky hits the Pumphandle Slam and Noble is down.
Winner by Judge’s Decision: Snitsky
Grade: NA
Up next is the main event!
Commercials.
We get a repeat of the video that opened RAW. IT seems that Punk is the man in greatest jeopardy of losing the title at the Bash! Yet, our OFFICIAL Pulse Wrestling Poll believes that Punk will retain the World Title. JBL and company make their way to the ring as another commercial break is upcoming.
Commercials.
John Bradshaw Layfield, Cody Rhodes, & Ted DiBiase v. John Cena & Cryme Tyme
Michael Cole confirms that CTC means Cryme Tyme & Cena. Cena and Rhodes start things off. Cena hits two shots on Rhodes and Cena is having his way with him. Overhead Suplex connects and Cena beats some sense into Rhodes. In comes Shad, who LEVELS Rhodes with a lariat. Rhodes rolls out of the Military Press and in comes DiBiase. DiBiase runs into Shad and he nails a release suplex for two. Scoop Slam hits and JTG comes in. Double team is successful for a two count. DiBiase gains control and in comes RHodes. Dropkick connects and Rhodes is at home with someone his own size. He beckons for JTG to get up and he hits the fists of DOOM! JTG comes back and gets a quick two count following a wraparound neckbreaker. Rhodes is back in control as JBL tags in. JBL gets Cena tagged in and Simply Priceless double team JTG. JBL beats more sense into JTG before tagging in DiBiase. JTG fights back, though, but DiBiase goes low with the kick. Tag to Rhodes and they work on the legs. To the corner they go, Rhodes takes too much time and he walks into a kick. Rhodes does recover, kicking JTG off the turnbuckle. In comes DiBiase, the heels working together to cut the ring in half, isolating JTG. Leg lock is locked in as DiBiase is changing the move into a deathlock. Time for a break.
Commercials.
We are back as Shad and Rhodes are the legal men. Rhodes takes it to Shad in the heel corner. In comes JBL, who SLUGS AWAY! He knocks Cena off the apron, but the referee keeps Cena restrained. Lariat connects by JBL and he drops the elbows. In comes Rhodes and he goes off the top, landing on the arm of Shad. He kicks away at Shadand he looks for a Figure Four, but Shad kicks him off. Bulldog is COUNTERED to a slam by Shad! Rhodes knocks Cena off the apron and tags in DiBiase. Fistdrop hits and he nails some more fists, but Shad fights back. Back comes in Rhodes, who lays the haymakers Shad’s way. Shad bounces off the turnbuckles and Rhodes MISSES THE MOONSAULT! Tag to cena! Shoulder tackle connects! Cena sends Rhodes to the corner. PROTOBOMB CONNECTS ON DIBIASE! Five Knuckle Shuffle connects and the FU is in DiBiase’s future. THROWBACK TO RHODE! Diving FameAsser connects and Cena locks in the STFU! Rhodes looks to tap, but JBL interrupts the submission, and the referee calls for a DQ!
Winners: John Cena & Cryme Tyme
Grade: A
JBL goads Cena to run after him, and he does so. The BRAWL is going to comne early. JBL runs and Cena jogs. Cena runs towards “That Guy” and he kicks open the door. He’s all stealthy as he hunts down JBL. Cea sees a white SUV and he wonders where JBL is. He turns around and he JBL clubs him with a steel pipe! JBL lays Cena against the car door and he gets inside a red car! He WRECKS THE CAR INTO THE OTHER CAR! Cena’s nowhere to be found.  JBL is in disbelief as the show ends.
Show Over.
The RAW Report Card
Mickie James d. Katie Lea Burchill: B
Kofi Kingston d. Paul Burchill: B+
Beth Phoenix d. Santino Marella: C
CM Punk d. EVIL Kane via countout: B
Chris Jericho d. Paul London: C
John Cena & Cryme Tyme d. JBL, Cody Rhodes, & Ted DiBiase: A
The Final Grade for RAW 7/14/08: B
RAW was entertaining tonight, as the adventures of Kane continued. The Tag Team Champions put on a good performance in the main even. Punk got a taste of the Animal and Jericho & Michaels haven’t settled anything. Definitely worth watching as the Great American Bash is selling itself. I’ll be back tomorrow night, subbing for Jonathan Kirschner with 10 Thoughts for ECW. Until then, hasta la vista!
