Eliza: Murtz!! Hey! I’m so excited to be writing this week’s column with you. Damn, now that you have your own reality tv show, I’m not good enough for you, huh? You need ALLLLLLL the ladies surrounding you?! :) So, what’d you think of this episode?
Murtz: Well, well, well. The Queen has returned to claim her Survivor throne! Eliza, I can’t even tell you how many e-mails I received while you were in Micronesia asking if you were coming back. I know there are many people waiting for this article. Haha, you are totally good enough for me. That’s why you were ON my reality show! As for the other ladies, don’t worry. I won’t need to bust out the Murtz charm since you are pretty much all in relationships. Can you hear the collective sigh from all the guys out there? I actually LOVED this episode! I think it was much better than the premiere and the reward challenge was amazing! I was so into it. I was totally screaming at the TV. And let’s give the Fang tribe some respect. Everyone was talking about how horrible they were last week and they shut up all the critics (including me) with a phenomenal performance this week.
Eliza: I must say, the Fang tribe did okay for themselves this week! Little Kenny pulling it OUT in that immunity challenge! Oh, and you know what shocked me this episode? In the very first scene when Randy is talking about how G.C. is the cancer to the tribe, etc, etc, Dan and Randy were laying on pillows and I’m sitting there screaming, WHAT?!? Since WHEN does Survivor just GIVE out pillows! I mean, I was annoyed enough about no one having to build their own shelter and now they get pillows! Well, as soon as they got to the reward challenge, I realized that Fang, of course, had to win, because I saw what the reward was, but I was so surprised that they showed that scene out of order. They don’t usually do stuff like that. So, is Murtz happy the girls finally got bathing suits? I thought they looked EVEN hotter in them, Corinne, Kelly, Jacquie, WOW!
Murtz: Wow. Are you sure you’re not the world’s foremost reality television expert? I’ll be honest with you. I didn’t catch the pillows in the opening scene. You’re making me look bad Orlins! I have to say that while I know that there are many out there who aren’t big Randy fans because of his attitude, I love the guy. I think he is hilarious and he is the reason that I love Survivor so much. He has a personality that I haven’t really encountered before so almost everything he does is fun to watch. Eliza, Eliza, Eliza. This is why I love writing with you. You lead with something that I didn’t see (the pillows in the opening scene) and then follow-up with something that I definitely could NOT have missed. The bathing suits! Corinne, Kelly, and Jacquie looked hotter than words can describe. Actually, wait a minute. You know how I said that Randy is the reason that I love Survivor so much? I take it back. I love it for all the hot girls. Now Eliza, you know that Michelle ducked the question last week. So I want to know. Which Survivor girl do you think is the hottest this season?
Eliza: I’m partial to brunettes, so I’m going to have to go with Corinne, but that’s just me. Those blondes are looking pretty hot, too. Although, NO ONE will take my heart away from Michelle ::kisses:: I mean, poor Kelly and Jacquie have hardly said two words each, so I feel like I don’t even know them yet. Okay, let me ask you one thing about Corinne, though, WHY did she look SO surprised that GILLIAN had been voted off? Um, are you kidding me? Who did ya think it was gonna be, hun? She had an Eliza-esque face, she was so surprised. Wasn’t that weird?
Murtz: Wow. Brunettes. Did not expect that. I think Brooke called it last week, but Kelly seems to be drawing me in right now (just slightly ahead of Jacquie). Speaking of Jacquie, she is the only member of the power alliance (Eliza, we TOTALLY need to NAME them) that we haven’t really seen. And I would love to see more of her and from her. Don’t bring up the Michelle kiss, Eliza! If you keep doing that, it will be hard for me to concentrate! Hahaha. I feel like you watched this week’s episode with a microscope E. I know Corinne looked shocked, but I just checked my tape and you are right. She looked like you did when Ozzy bit the bullet last season. It was weird. The only explanation I can come up with is that she might have thought the Fang tribe owed her for being their initial leader and that she was a nurse, but that certainly wasn’t enough to warrant *that* look. Oh, and here’s my question for you. Are Todd Herzog and Charlie related?
Eliza: Oh don’t be mad because I’m more observant than you are! Haha. I also think Corinne is spunky and in control. I don’t like girls who fade into the background. I’m a leader not a follower. No, Charlie and Todd are not related!! They met at my premier party last year, though, which I believe you were in attendance for, as well! One other thing before we get to our picks, Murtz, you mentioned to me that you’re a big Ace fan. Now, I don’t see how that’s possible. He is one of THE most arrogant people ever to be on Survivor. When he was showboating and doing twists and turns on the slide, I wanted to slap him! Just DO the challenge, Ace. Oh, and do you even think that accent is real???
Murtz: Haha. That’s the same reason I like Corinne. I like that she is opinionated and isn’t just a mindless lamb who will vote the way she is told. I was always a big Jerri fan. I think she got a raw deal both times, and she was actually a very calculated player. Moving on, I was totally at your premiere party! And I have been kicking myself for not meeting Charlie there! You do have to admit that he does really resemble Todd a lot though. We finally disagree Eliza. I LOVED the showboating that Ace was doing on the slip and slide. He is so cocky. And I think the accent is hilarious! You know I like the arrogant players. Now I am not going to put him in Boston Rob category just yet, but he certainly is showing some signs of my favorite player of all-time and I think that’s why I like him so much.
Eliza: Yeah, yeah, well we’ll see how long that lasts. It’s rare that someone can pull a Boston Rob and get away with it. People don’t like cocky assholes. Ace seems to have it wrapped up right now, but he’s not one of our best players of the week. Check out who is! And we have a best from last week who became the worst this week. Read about it below.
THIS WEEK’S BEST PLAYERS
CHAR-CUS (MARC-LIE?)
Eliza : Charlie and Marcus (henceforth deemed Char-cus, or do you like Marc-lie better, Murtz?) ROCK. It’s as simple as that. They’re controlling their tribe, while at the same time letting someone else (i.e. ACE) think that he’s controlling the tribe. It’s a brilliant strategy and you can almost see them rolling their eyes at each other when Ace thinks he’s the one making the decisions. But that’s what’s important. They don’t need to ruffle any feathers at least for one more vote-off because it sounds like Kelly is next on the chopping block and no one really cares. She was the only one on the outside of this past vote, and it should keep Kota intact. (Although the preview indicated that Kota may be no longer! :( )Charlie and Marcus were both phenomenal in both challenges. The two of them CARRIED Dan across that finish line and it was a brutal challenge. Also, both of them maintained the lead in the immunity challenge (that Bob subsequently lost, but we’ll get to that). All in all, a great episode for my two favorite boys.
Murtz: I think I like Char-cus better. That’s a really good point Eliza. You’re right. They are keeping Ace around to take the bullets and the criticism for being bossy while they are laying low and hiding their alliance. I will say that I do believe they need to keep an eye on Corinne because I wasn’t a big fan of her basically outlining the alliance to Bob and telling him that he was their hanging fifth vote. I think she gave him way too much information and they are all lucky that he didn’t go and tell the others to put his own army together. I am not sure if they will send Kelly packing next week or not. They might decide that it is time to weaken Ace’s game by removing Sugar. Either way, Charlie and Marcus are sitting pretty for deep into the merge. I have to say that I am amazed that no one has even suggested that they are in an alliance yet.
SUGAR
Murtz: Wow, what an unbelievable week for Sugar! While it initially seemed like she was on the fast track to nowhere after the show highlighted her alliance with Ace (which was on the outside of the main Kota power four), she turned things around after being sent to Exile and finding the hidden immunity necklace. Be honest. Who actually thought she had a chance of finding it? I know I didn’t. And while I initially thought that her alliance with Ace would hurt her, he ended up saving her by arguing for Paloma to go instead. Right now, Sugar’s best move is to just lay low and try to get to the merge. The problem is that despite having a wicked week, she is still on the chopping block to go next if her tribe loses. We might see one of the earliest uses of the hidden immunity idol this season!
Eliza: Despite her obviously very emotional state, Sugar had an amazing week! As we know from past seasons, having a very tight alliance with one other person is crucial to getting to the end of the game. Sugar certainly has Ace wrapped around her finger, and although it seems that he’s running the show, who knows how much the two of them are discussing moves in the background. (Kind of like Ami & Leann in Vanuatu – Ami was the outward leader, but Leann was in on every decision). Sugar also found the hidden immunity idol! She cracked me up to no end when she was shrieking and didn’t like the bugs on her back or stepping deep into the river, but she powered through and found it! I’m truly impressed with her and think people are dangerously underestimating her right now.
KENNY
Murtz: It was a spectacular week for Kenny. After looking like he was walking the Survivor green mile, having almost no physical ability and having his partner-in-crime voted off last week (oh and sidebar, I know we are both happy that there is really only one Michelle in the game of Survivor and we both love her), Ken came through with a vengeance at the immunity challenge. It was an epic battle between the teacher and the video game slacker… and you and I both know who all the kids were rooting for. It was an epic battle. The winner made our best list. The loser? Well, we’ll get to him next.
Eliza: Oftentimes in the game of Survivor, someone else’s failure is your gain. And that it was for Kenny this week. Bob’s inability to solve a simple math equation paved the way for Kenny to be HERO of Fang! Did you see him jump into Matty’s arms after he won the challenge for them. Kenny helped Fang to actually look like a cohesive team and he led to their first immunity win of the season. Good job to Kenny!
THIS WEEK’S WORST PLAYER
BOB
Eliza: Cute, sweet, bowtie buff wearing Bob. I like him, but boy does he suck. Bob was named one of the BEST players of the week last week, and now here he is at worst. Sorry Bob, but you blew it this week. Bob not only seems to have no alliance, but he’s being bossed around by the 20-somethings on his tribe. Furthermore, one of the worst things you can do in a challenge on Survivor is get to a puzzle with a lead and LOSE. Bob did exactly that. He was in the same position that Cirie and Amanda so frequently found themselves after I was switched to Airai and time and time again they would get a puzzle with a lead and blow it to lose the challenge. Not only is it embarrassing, but it’s also blatantly your fault. It’s not a team effort, it’s you. You sucked. So, I have to say sorry Bob, but this week, with me as the teacher, you earned yourself an F.
Murtz: Wow, that was harsh Eliza! Haha. I have to agree that it was a bad week for our boy Bob. It actually reminded me a lot of last week’s episode when Gillian didn’t know how to help Randy (even though she’s a nurse). We both know that the older players have a much tougher road to the finals on Survivor than the younger players do. That being said, because they usually don’t perform well in the challenges physically, they have to be able to highlight their other skills. Even if Gillian didn’t know how to sew Randy up, she should have pretended that she did so that everybody would realize that they just might need the nurse around. Peih-Gee from Survivor China initially pointed this out to me and I completely agree. Similarly, Bob is a physics teacher. He should have been able to figure that puzzle out immediately. He didn’t. He’s just lucky that he wasn’t the one to go.
ELIZA’S PICK
Best line of the night: “If Ace wins a million dollars, I’ll never watch Survivor again.” –Paloma
“I can’t believe I found it and the lawyer didn’t.” –Sugar
“Part of me just thinks they’re stupid. I shouldn’t blame them for being complete idiots, but they just are.” –Randy
“I just wanna gag every time he opens his mouth.” –Paloma (talking about Ace)
“Fang looked to be one of the worst tribes in the history of Survivor.” –Jeff Probst during the recap
MURTZ’S PICK
Best line of the night: “The problem is that they are stupid. They don’t know it, but they are.” -Randy
“It wasn’t a loss. It was a strategic withdrawal.” –Ace
“It just crossed dotted the I’s and crossed the T’s on her contract of death.” -Ace
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