InsidePULSEâ€™s TNA Final Resolution Report
Announcers are Don West & Mike Tenay
Cute Kip vs. Sonjay Dutt (w/ SoCal Val) vs. Jimmy Rave vs. Lance Rock vs. Alex Shelley vs. BG James vs. Jay Lethal vs. Chris Sabin vs. Consequences Creed vs. Curry Man vs. Hernandez vs. Homicide vs. Shark Boy – Feast or Fired Match
Here are the highlights, as you can imagine, this match is a clusterfuck. Hernandez gives Rave a Boarder Toss out of the ring on the floor, onto about 7 other guys, and then he grabs a case. Lance Rock tries to double choke slam Curry Man and Homicide, but they fight out of it, and then fight up the pole, where Curry Man comes down with a case. Homicide and Sonjay then fight up the pole, but Homicide crotches him and then stands on him to get the 3rd case. Kip and BG fight over the last one, but they both fall out of the floor. Rave goes to the top, but MCMG comes over and hits him with a combonation of Sliced Bread and a Power Bomb!! Guns then hit a Missile Dropkick version of the Doomsday Device on Lethal. Shelley then climbs the pole, and as Sabin is blocking anyone from stopping him. Shelley gets the case down, and the Guns celebrate in the ring, however you have to get to the floor, and Lethal dives over them, snatching the case and sliding to the floor! Here is the breakdown of who won, and which # case they won.
Case # 1 – Hernandez
Case # 2 – Jay Lethal
Case # 3 – Curry Man
Case # 4 – Homicide
Borash got in the ring, and said that they will unveil one of the cases tonight! He then gives all 4 of them the chance to forfeit their case. None of them do, but Curry Man does flirt with the idea. They randomly choose #2 to be revealed, and with the Guns still in the ring bitching about Lethal stealing their case, the case is opened to reveal a Tag Team Title Shot!!! Shelley keeps bitching, and Borash tells him off!
Lauren interviews the Beautiful People, and mid-interview, Angelina gets a call from Gov. Palin, who says that she’ll be at the “Impass Zone” this Thursday.
Sharmell & The Beautiful People (w/ Cute Kip) vs. Roxxi, ODB, & Taylor Wilde
Roxxi and Taylor hold the advantage for a while, and they tag in ODB. Kip gets in the ring and distracts ODB, so the Beautiful People jump her. Taylor and Roxxi take them out, and Sharmell has to get in the ring, toe to toe with ODB. Sharmell freaks out, and runs away, with ODB and Kip following. Angelina hits a top rope crossbody on Taylor, but Taylor rolls through it, and gets the 3 count.
Winners – ODB, Taylor & Roxxi
Borash with Eric Young. EY talks about winning, but Shelley & Sabin show up, and have a little chat with Borash.
Sheik Abdul Bashir (c) vs. Eric Young – X-Division Title
Shane Sewell is the ref for the match. EY starts out strong, but Bashir whips him into the ropes hard, and EY hits the ground hard. Bashir works on EY’s back, sending him into the ringsteps. Bashir shoves Sewell, and then goes to hit EY with the WMDDT, but EY hooks the rope. Bashir blames Sewell, and then EY goes to roll up Bashir, Bashir holding onto the ropes, but Sewell kicks his arms, and EY rolls up Bashir for the pin.
Winner and New Champion – Eric Young
After the match, Bashir beats down EY, and then cracks Sewell over the head with the X Division belt. Bashir tries to leave with the belt, but Cornette comes out and stops him, confiscating the belt.
Recap of Christy Hemme/Awesome Kong feud.
Awesome Kong (c) (w/ Raisha Saeed & Rhaka Khan) vs. Christy Hemme – TNA Knockouts Title
Hemme with some fight in her to begin, sending Kong to the floor, and then leaping on her from the top rope. Kong quickly takes over, and puts Hemme in that rack hold. Hemme reverses Kong, and lays her out, then hits the Flying Firecrotch, but Saeed pulls Hemme to the floor. Saeed and Rhaka beat her down, and the ref calls for the DQ.
Hemme and Kong attempt to fight each other, but the refs and security keep them apart.
Recap of Abyss/Morgan/Beer Money feud.
Beer Money, Inc. (c) (w/ Jacqueline) vs. Abyss & Matt Morgan – TNA Tag Team Titles
Abyss chases Beer Money around the Impact Zone, leading them back to the ring, where Morgan dives over the ropes on both of them. Roode & Storm want no part of the match, so they attempt to leave, but the ref declares that if they do not get into the ring, they will forfeit the tag team titles. They come back, but they attempt to slow the pace down. Abyss wants to get to Storm, for what he did on Impact this past week. Morgan lines Roode for the Carbon Footprint, but Jacqueline holds on to his ankle, and Roode takes him out. Storm and Roode then go back and forth working on Morgan’s injured leg. Morgan reverses a Double Suplex, and gets the hot tag to Abyss. Abyss in, hits Roode with a Choke Slam and Storm with Shock Treatment. Morgan enters the fight again, and with the ref distracted, Storm attempts to hit Abyss over the head with a beer bottle. Abyss blocks it, and grabs the bottle, but Jacqueline slides in between Storm and Abyss, and Storm puts on a loaded pair of knucks, and drills Abyss for the pin.
Winners and Still Champions – Beer Money
Lauren interviewing Foley, who says that he will be at ringside, just to make sure the Main Event Mafia will not interfere in the match. Machine Guns show up, and they want Foley to go out into the ring, and award them the Tag Title Shot that Lethal stole from them.
Teney & West are hyping up the main event, but the Machine Guns come to the ring, and says that they will sit there until Foley comes out. Cornette comes out, and says that the Guns need to leave. Shelley wants to know what Cornette will do about it, and then mocks his tennis racket days. Cornette says that he will step aside and let someone else handle this for him. The lights go out, and Suicide’s music hits! Suicide ziplines down to the ring, and takes out both of the Guns!
Lauren with Rhino, he says that he is wrestling this match for Jarrett’s 3 daughters.
Rhino vs. Kurt Angle – Mick Foley as the Special Enforcer – If Rhino wins, Kurt Angle is gone from TNA – If Kurt Angle wins, he gets a match against Jeff Jarrett at Genesis
There is no one in Angle’s corner at the start the match. Rhino begins the match overpowering Angle. Angle tosses Rhino to the outside, and he hits the floor hard. Back in the ring, Angle wraps on a headlock, but Rhino overpowers him, attempts a Samoan Drop, but Angle holds onto the headlock. Rhino fights out again, goes for a belly to belly, but Angle slides around and hits a German for 2. Angle goes for the Olympic Slam, but Rhino slides down, and hits a belly to belly. Rhino then lines up, but misses a GORE GORE GORE, and Angle locks on the Ankle Lock. Rhino powers out, and sets up Angle for a Power Bomb, but Rhino flips Angle over his head and face first on the turnbuckle. Rhino goes for another GORE GORE GORE, but Angle kicks him in the face, followed by an Olympic Slam for 2. Rhino goes for a short GORE GORE GORE, but Angle dodges again, and Rhino hits the ref. Foley comes in to check on the ref, but Angle gets a chair. Foley will not let him use the chair, and has made it clear to Angle that he is now the ref. Al Snow makes his way down the ramp, and Foley wonders what he is doing there, during the match. Snow doesnâ€™t say anything, just slaps him. While Foley is distracted Angle hits Rhino with the chair, and then the Olympic Slam for the pin.
Winner – Kurt Angle
Angle gets in Foley’s face, and says that he will beat Jarrett at Genesis, and then he is coming to kick the sh!t out of Foley! Angle and Snow walk up the ramp together.
Lauren with the Main Event Mafia. Sting says that this all started with disrespect, and AJ & Joe have everything they have coming to them.
Recap of MEM/Frontline feud.
Borash with AJ, Joe, and 3D. He wonders if AJ & Joe can trust 3D. AJ says they can.
Sting (c), Booker T (w/ Sharmell), Kevin Nash, Scott Steiner vs. AJ Styles, Samoa Joe, & Team 3D – TNA Title (If Main Event Mafia wins, Sting retains. If The Frontline wins, AJ Styles becomes TNA Champion)
Booker & AJ start. They go back and forth for a bit, with Styles getting an advantage with his speed. Bubba and Steiner are in, and Bubba hits a series of punches, then a Rock Bottom. Bubba tags in Joe, who backs Steiner in the corner, and then kicks Steiner in the head. Joe wants Steiner to tag in Nash, but Steiner tags in Sting. Joe does a series of kicks to Stings legs, but eventually Sting takes Joe out, and tags in Nash, who lines up Joe in the corner, but Joe fires out of it, slugs Nash, and tags in Devon. Booker and Steiner help out Nash, and the MEM take turns tagging in and beating on Devon. Devon finally tags in Bubba, who cleans house, but then tags in Joe, and MEM takes over again. After, what seems like forever of a beat down on Joe, AJ finally gets in and takes out all 4 of the MEM. Now a melee ensues. Joe tags in, hits Sting with a T-Bone suplex, Booker tries to attack, but 3D hits them with..well a 3D. Steiner and Nash lay out 3D, but AJ takes both Nash and Steiner out. Joe puts Sting on the corner, goes for the M.U.S.C.L.E. Buster, but Nash slides in, crotches Joe, and Sting nails a Scorpion Death Drop for the pin.
Winners – Main Event Mafia
It seems has Sting has a bit of a tiff with the other MEM members, and walks up the ramp by himself, leaving Nash, Booker, Steiner, and Sharmell celebrate the win in the ring.
Tags: final resolution, TNA