We open with a recap of Against All Odds, proprietor of the worst PPV main event I can remember.
We get a run-down of the matches tonight, one of which is a Knockouts Gauntlet. Most importantly Angle and Sting will team up to take on Team 3-D. It’s up first?
Kurt Angle and Sting vs. Team 3-D
Separate entrances for the MEM. Kurt waits in the ring and when Sting gets in, they barely make eye contact. Kurt’s eyebrow’s stitched up by the way. I don’t remember him getting busted on Sunday. Out comes 3-D, carrying their tin belts. Sting whispers strategy to Kurt but he seems disinterested in any advice.
Ray and Angle start with a lockup. Angle clubs Ray’s back and hits him with an uppercut. Ray fights back and before you now it, both combatants are rolling on the floor like two eight year olds underneath a Jungle Gym. Ray hangs Angle upside down from the top rope and 3-D take turns beating on the prone Olympian. D-Von whips Angle into the turnbuckle a follows it up with a clothesline. D-Von with punches while Sting begs for a tag. An eye rake from Angle stops the beating but he still refuses to tag in Sting. D-Von back with the spinning back elbow. A “we want Sting” chant picks up. Ray in and 3-D hits the Wassup Drop while the ref is occupied with Sting. The headbutt to the groin convinces Angle to finally tag Sting. Instead of wrestling, Sting wants to talk about their feelings on the outside. Both men start shoving each other. They go nose to nose and this brings down the other Mafia members to attempt to cool the situation down. We go to a commercial as I try to figure out when was the last time Sting hit a gym. November?
Sting has apparently been convinced to fight instead of argue and as we come back he’s beating on Ray in the corner. Sting, ever the gentleman, offers Kurt a tag. But Kurt refuses the tag and drops to the floor. Ray tries to fight out of a headlock but Sting rakes the eyes. Another attempted tag and Angle refuses it again. Steiner tries talking sense into Angle but I don’t think Angle’s listening. A battering ram from Ray gives us the double knockout spot. D-Von gets a tag but when Sting tries for Angle, he refuses once again. D-Von takes control of the match, his moves lathered in molasses.
D-Von misses from the top with a flying headbutt. Angle pretends to want the tag but pulls his hand away at the last minute. Sting solves the problem of an uncooperative Angle by tagging him hard on the back and slingshotting him into the ring. Sting pushes Angle who staggers backward into a D-Von schoolboy for the 3. Post match shoving quickly devolves into blows. The MEM pull them apart. As we go to a commercial, Angle is asking for a microphone.
Winners – Team 3D (* – Team 3-D and Sting move as if they are underwater. I don’t know if Sting’s just old, hurt worse than I think, or just disinterested but he has not looked good in the ring for some time now. Anyway it wasn’t much of a match. Its purpose was to set up the angle that followed.)
Kurt apologizes to the MEM for what he’s about to say. He runs Sting down calling him a disgrace “to the family.” Kurt is pissed that Sting did not let him win the title on Sunday. He accuses Sting of being jealous of him. Sting “shit” on the pact they made in Vegas when they formulated the Mafia by not lying down for Angle and surrendering his title. Kurt challenges Sting to meet him in the ring later tonight. The catch is that Sting has to lie down for Angle and let him become the new champion. Jarrett’s interrupts and faces Kurt down in the ring.
Jarrett says there’s no way he’ll allow such a thing to happen. Kurt wonders if he’ll have to literally kill Jeff in order to keep him from meddling in Mafia business. Jarrett says that as long as it’s his company, he’ll make it his business. Jarrett hints at a third match with Angle but says it will not happen tonight. Sting takes Jarrett’s microphone and tells Jeff to step off. He agrees to meet Angle later tonight. Commercial time.
We’re back with Tenay and West recapping what we just, four minutes ago, saw for ourselves.
JB is backstage and asks Booker if what happened earlier spells the end of the MEM. Booker doesn’t think so. He says the boss has given an order and that order will be carried out, whether Sting likes it or not. JB turns talk to AJ and his theft of Booker’s Legend’s Title. Booker says he’s got the police and the FBI on the case. Booker says AJ won’t get a rub off him in a match, instead he’ll throw his ass in jail for stealing the title. Booker’s been hilarious as of late. Too bad he’s lost motivation in the ring.
AJ was hiding in Booker’s dressing room. Sharmell starts screaming for help as AJ beats Booker from one corner of his dressing room to the other. AJ yells in Booker’s face, takes the Legend’s belt and leaves.
During the break, Steiner rants at Lauren. His stream of consciousness brings him around to Samoa Joe, almost accidentally. He calls Joe a half-breed before the camera finds something a little more coherent to film.
Scott Steiner vs. Petey Williams – Chain Mail on a Pole Match
God lord Jesus, I think we have a winner for worst gimmick match of all time. Why is this happening?
Petey jumps Steiner from behind but gets hit with an elbow off the ropes. Steiner tosses Petey out. Petey fights back with punches from the outside and slingshots in with the facecrusher. Petey climbs for the chain mail but Steiner brings him down. Petey’s speed frustrates Steiner for a bit but Steiner again throws him outside. Steiner climbs but Petey trips him and wraps Steiner’s legs around the ring post. A crotching puts Steiner down for a minute. Steiner goes for the belly-to-belly but Petey rakes the eyes to escape. It doesn’t matter though because Steiner catches Petey again a throws him into the turnbuckle. Steiner hits Petey with a flapjack while Petey’s are legs still caught on the top turnbuckle. Cool move.
Steiner hits a clothesline. The arm-flex elbow drop leads into a pin which the ref has to remind Steiner won’t count. Steiner puts Petey on the top turnbuckle and taunts him while they’re both up there. Steiner could take down the headdress with ease but doesn’t. Instead, he busts out the Frankensteiner from the top rope. Steiner climbs but Petey catches him and powerbombs him off. Instead of going for the chain, he goes for the Canadian Destroyer. Steiner counters out of it and goes for the lead pipe. Petey tries the Destroyer again but Steiner backdrops out of it. Steiner slaps the ref around, just because he can. Steiner climbs and almost reaches the chain mail, but Petey sneaks up from behind and blast him with the pipe. Petey climbs but Steiner catches him with a Samoan Drop from the top. Steiner climbs and pulls down the headdress for the win.
Samoa Joe’s music hits but he doesn’t come out. Joe appears on the screen and calmly informs Steiner that “Joe’s gonna kill” him.
Winner – Scott Steiner (**1/4 – Steiner surprises me every week. Although it’s evident he’s hurting bad in the ring, he doesn’t disappoint. Good, not great, match between these two. As always. I can’t wait for Joe to come back and kill him though.)
JB aks Foley what he thinks of Angle’s demand that Sting forfeit his title. Foley says he knows Sting and knows he will never give it up. Foley says later tonight he will have a Hardcore History segment, where he will relive his most hardcore memories.
Knockouts Gauntlet Match
I don’t know how this match works but I assume it’s a battle royal. Angelina Love and Taylor Wilde start out. The two women brawl rather convincingly in the centre of the ring. Wilde gets the upper hand and starts raining blows down on Love as the clocks runs to zero. Lucky for Love, the next entrant is Velvet Skye. Skye knocks Wilde off her tag partner and they set to double teaming her. Taylor ducks a double clothesline but misses when she tries a cross body block. Sojourner Bolt is out next. She cleans house on the Beautiful People. Wilde fights Bolt off but that only gives the BP enough time to regroup. The try eliminating Bolt and Wilde to no success. Roxxi is the next in the draw. She’s in with kicks and clotheslines for the BP and Bolt. Roxxi tries throwing Skye out but Kip catches her, stopping her feet from hitting the floor. More senseless brawling as the seconds tick down. It’s Madison Rain (?). What follows is the typical battle royal brawling; many punches interspersed by elimination attempts. Raisha Saeed is next. She knocks down a few ladies before tossing Love. Kip saves his girls again by catching Love before her feet hit the floor. Rhaka Khan comes in next and kicks Madison’s face off. Last out is ODB. She beats on everyone before (thankfully) eliminating Khan. Next, she throws out Saaied. ODB tosses Love but she is again caught be Kip. Love goes in one side and out the other, but she takes Wiilde with her. Velvet Skye gets knocked out by Roxxi. Sojo catches Roxxi’s kick and flips her over the top. Sojo then puts ODB out with a dropkick.
Sojo vs. Rain
Rain gets a two off a backslide. Knee from Bolt. Bolt tries to throw Rain over the top but she comes off the top instead. Sojo hits some move I don’t know the name of for the three.
Winner – Sojouner Bolt (1/2* – I HATE battle royals so my rating may be a bit skewed. Basically it was a lot of punching and half-hearted elimination attempts. The last 45 seconds, where the contestants went one on one was short and not good.)
Angle is backstage, staring at a picture of Sting. He’s seized by rage and smashes the picture.
Motor City Machine Guns vs. Lethal Consequences
This match was made because when Creed had his arm hit with a chair and overacted like never seen before, the MCMG chilled on the ropes. The looks on the MCMG face while Creed was writhin in agony was amazing.
Lethal and Sabin start of with some nifty moves that end with a Lethal dropkick for two. Shelly comes in and gets caught in a drop toe hold. Consequences double team Sjhelley for two. Cree dwith punches, Creed with a back flip over Shelley. A blind tag backfires as Creed hits a dropkick on Sabin as he comes in. MCMG with some double teaming of their own. Sabin stomps Creed and rams him into Shelley’s outstretched legs. Shelley in, he hits a single chop and tags out. Shelley slaps Creed but gets caught coming off the ropes. Creed drop toe holds Sabin into Shelley’s crotch and makes the tag to Lethal. He’s a house of fire, finishing his attack with a missile dropkick on Sabin. A kick to the back of Sabin’s head gets two. Sabin with a sliding kick to Lethal’s head as he tries for the handspring elbow off the ropes. I love it. Made in Detroit gets two when Creed breaks it up. Lethal Combination on Sabin gets two. Shelley in with an arm drag and superkick. He goes for the Sliced Bread but it’s reversed into a flapjack for the three. Pretty damn cool.
Both teams shake hands. But once the Guns look like they’re turning away, they kick Lethal Consequences in the balls.
Moment of the Night: The guy in the corner of the screen clapping heartily with a smile on his face as Lethal Consequences are folded over in agony.
Winners – Lethal Consequences (**3/4 – Good fast paced match that ended way too soon. Hopefully they let these teams go longer on the next PPV)
Jarrett comes down “from the rafters” to interrupt JB’s blathering nonsense.
We come back for ODB’s Angle. ODB wants men and women to upload videos of themselves to the TNA website. The winner (who knows what the winner criteria will be) will be treated to a date with ODB. Her guest is Brutus Magnus. ODB greets him by slapping his ass. Ha! She gets a rim shot for one of her terrible jokes. Magnus re-iterates his open challenge. ODB shows him her crotch and says it’s an open challenge of her own. Magnus calls her disgusting and walks out of this nonsense. I wish I could do the same.
We cut to Lauren who is talking with Nash about the Sting/Angle situation. Nash says he wishes he were one of the guys in Goodfellas and Casino. He likes the way they lived, being able to freely bury a human being in the desert. I don’t think Nash watched Casino to the end. Someone should tell him that the guy he wants to be like gets beaten to death with bats in a cornfield. Nash says Sting’s about to get what’s coming to him before leaving to meet “Johnny Sacks.” Ok.
We’re back with Abyss on the therapist’s couch. His name’s Dr. Stevie. He thinks Obama’s kids are cute. He wants to watch Family Guy with Obama’s kids. Creepy. He switches gears and admits to be addicted to violence. He goes on a bit about how much he likes it before switching tracks again by talking about Lost.
TNA World Tag Team Championship Match: Abyss and Rhino vs. Beer Money
Abyss stops on his way down the ramp to pull out stands of his hair and hand it to fans at ringside. Nevertheless, I can’t figure out what business either Abyss or Rhino have being in a tag team with each other, never mind challenging for the tag titles. Oh well, the Boozer Cruiser is hilarious.
Beer Money cheap shot Abyss and throw him into the ropes. Abyss hits a double clothesline and tags in Rhino. Rhino with a shoulderblock. A hip toss is blocked by Roode so Rhino just clotheslines him down. Roode lifts a knee to Rhino’s gut. Northern Lights suplex by Roode is blocked. Rhyno starts raining the punches down on Roode’s head in corner. Rhino tries a whip which is reversed. Rhino comes out of the corner with a back elbow. Roode distracts the ref, giving Storm an opportunity to knock Rhino off the apron. As we go to a commercial, Storm is beating the shit out of Rhino on floor.
Beer Money try to double-team Rhino but he fights back with a clothesline. He makes the hot tag to Abyss. Abyss is a house of fire. He gets some punches and hits an avalanche on both opponents. Abyss hits the Shock Treatment on Storm. Roode breaks up the pin at two. Rhino and Roode stumble to the floor with the ref caught up between them. Storm spits beer in Abyss’ face. Storm with a bulldog. He polishes off the bottle and gets ready to blast Abyss with it. Abyss catches Storm and chokeslams him onto bottle. I don’t think that was supposed to happen. It doesn’t break though. Abyss readies the bottle to hit Storm but Morgan comes to the ring. Morgan slides in and hits Abyss with a sick sick sick chairshot. Storm covers for the three.
Morgan looks proud of himself on the outside. Morgan instructs Beer Money to keep Rhino outside the ring so he can kill Abyss in peace. Morgan hits Abyss again with the chair though not as hard as the first time.
Winners, and still Champions – Beer Money (**1/4 – Another short match but there’s something about Beer Money that just works. I can’t explain it. What I also can’t explain is why Rhino has been reduced to throw-away matches after he was built up as the leader of the Frontline. TNA’s fuzzy booking is “f*cking distracting!”)
Next up is the MEM confrontation. Sting descends from the rafters while Angle walks down the hallway with the rest of the MEM.
Foley Hardcore History
His first History segment recounts with a no rope barred wire match against terry funk. He admits to being scared but got himself into a crazy state of mind to combat the jitters. He describes how he nearly lost his fingers on the barbs. After the match, he talks of hugging Terry Funk. I was really hoping for some clips but no dice.
Sting vs. Kurt Angle
Well, it looks like Sting is already halfway to being a face. Kurt has brought Hebner to count Sting out. Kurt isn’t enjoying this but he has no choice. As Godfather, Angle must make an example out of Sting for breaking the code. I’m not sure what code Sting broke. I pretty big “You suck!” chant starts up. Sting wants to know if this is really what Angle wants. Angle says he didn’t have a choice. Sting agrees to lay down for the good of the family. But before he does, he wants to know what happened to Kurt’s integrity. Sting thinks Angle should just take his loss like a man. Would Kurt have asked his opponent in the 1996 Olympics for a do-over if he had lost? Sting thinks honor comes from looking your opponent in the eye and admitting he’s a better man that night, but Kurt can’t do it. In his defense, he does seem pained. So Sting says he’ll just lay down. Before he does he wants to put Angle’s loss at Against All Odds into perspective. He’s lost his wife, he’s lost respect and now everyone knows who Angle really is. He calls him an egomaniac and says even his Mafia-mates know he’s an untrustworthy man who’s lost all the integrity he accumulated in the Olympics. Sting lays down and dares Angle to steal his 13th title. A woman in the crowd, quite loudly, declares her love for Angle. I concur. Angle thinks for a moment whether to pin him or not. Sting tells him to suck it up and do it. Kurt can’t. He says he’ll take his title but he’ll kick his ass doing it. And in their little scrap he does get the upper hand quite easily before the MEM pulls them apart.
If Sting wants a war, he’s got one. Next week Angle wants Sting in a brawl with an emptied arna. He promises to end Sting’s career before charging him. Security is out to pull them apart.
This was great stuff from these two as Sting tore Angle to the core, speaking to him on a level he knew would get through. Angle’s indecision after Sting’s speech was great as well. You could see how much he wanted the title but wasn’t sure he could live with himself if he won without actually beating Sting. One of the better TNA segments in a long, long time. I’m trying to stay away from next week’s spoilers but we’ll see how long that last. I hope you all enjoyed it. I’ll see you here next week.
