The SmarK Legacy Rant for Monday Night RAW – July 26 1993
– Taped from New York.
– Your hosts are Vince, Bobby and Macho.
Bam Bam Bigelow v. Bret Hart
Stu and Helen Hart are in the balcony here, as apparently Vince is so cheap that he wouldn’t even get them ringside seats. Bammer pounds away to start and puts Bret down with a shoulderblock, but Bret evades a forearm shot and dropkicks Bigelow into the ropes. Clothesline puts Bam Bam on the floor and they do a quick brawl, and back in Bret goes up with a Thesz Press from the top. That goes horribly wrong and Bret seemingly messes up his knee after the miscommunication, and we take a break. Back with Bret still selling the knee on the floor, either really hurt or doing a good job of pretending to be. Back in, Bigelow gets a backdrop suplex for two. Bam Bam whips him into the corner for a good bump, and Bigelow gets a powerslam for two. Bigelow with a pair of headbutts, but a third one misses and Bret makes the comeback with a backdrop suplex of his own. Elbowdrop gets two. They slug it out and Bigelow puts him down with a dropkick, and we hit the chinlock. And we take another break. Back with the same chinlock, but Bigelow misses a dropkick and Bret slugs away. Backdrop follows as Bigelow is just bumping all over here, and that gets two. Bret goes to work on the back by headbutting the lower back ("That gives a new meaning to the word head-butt!" Bobby notes, and it takes Vince a minute to get that one), and Bret gets a second rope elbow for two. Bret gets a sleeper, but he’s got no leverage, and Bigelow drops him on the top turnbuckle to break. Bret hits him from behind with a bulldog and hooks the Sharpshooter, but Jerry Lawler is in the balcony talking shit at the Hart parents. Bret goes out to help, but Bigelow rams him into the post and they head back into the ring. The match just totally grinds to a halt while Lawler does his comedy routine with Stu. Bigelow sends Bret into the corner for two. Senton and he goes up to finish, but misses a swanton (!) and Bret comes back again. Clothesline gets two. DDT and Bret goes out into the crowd to take care of Lawler, resulting in the countout at 15:57. Excellent match before it fell apart due to Lawler’s distraction. ***1/2 Lawler challenges Bret to a match at Summerslam, which officially sets that one up.
Mr. Hughes v. Ross Greenberg
Oh goody, another Hughes squash. After all the weeks of Hughes challenging Undertaker and vice-versa, the announced match for Summerslam is Undertaker v. Giant Gonzalez in a "Rest in Peace" match. And we don’t know what that actually means. Greenberg gets a few seconds of offense, but Hughes puts him down with a big boot and a powerbomb. Hughes puts him down with a headbutt and finishes with the Bossman slam at 3:03.
Wrestlemania: The Album! Available tomorrow at all K-Mart stores! That was Randy Savage’s FIRST attempt at singing, for those keeping track.
The Smoking Gunns v. Dwayne Gill & Glen Ruth
Gunn gets a dropkick on Gill off a criss-cross and the Gunns work on Gill’s arm in the corner, and it’s over to Ruth. The Gunns get a double-team on him, with Bart powerslamming him into a Billy elbowdrop. Double legsweep and Billy gets a dropkick, setting up a series of kneedrops from Bart. Billy with a clothesline into an elbowdrop from Bart. Powerslam from Billy, and he backdrops Ruth into a piledriver from Bart to finish at 4:15. This felt endless.
Ludvig Borga is coming. Just accept it. I suppose they were trying to line up xenophobic heels for Lex Luger later on, but FINLAND?
Lex Luger does a special interview with Vince McMahon, talking about the Lex Express and how he got his title shot at Yokozuna upcoming at Summerslam. He welcomes all the tough questions, although I find that hard to believe. Like what about the time he beat up Elizabeth and got busted with thousands of dollars in illegal prescription drugs? Just because it’s 10 years into the future doesn’t mean we don’t deserve an answer!
Doink the Clown v. Phil Apollo
Doink takes Apollo down with a fireman’s carry and works the arm, then gets a belly to belly and rides him on the mat. Backdrop suplex and elbow follow, and the Whoopie Cushion finishes at 2:30. We take a break and return with Doink continuing to taunt Randy Savage in a feud that probably should have paid off at Summerslam.
Next week: Randy Savage v. Doink the Clown!
