Paul Marshall is in the house this week as we celebrate 900 episodes of WWE RAW! Boston is where it all goes down tonight and it’s been a while…so IT’S TIME…TO…GET RAW!
Bret Hart opens our show tonight as Michael Cole reminds us that RAW is 900 strong. Even Bret is in the mood tonight. Oops, we got our first “damn” comment tonight. Bret reminds us what Michael Cole reminded us about. Bret was here for RAW #1, as was the Undertaker. Bret finds it appropriate, but is interrupted by Kane without the World Heavyweight Championship.
Kane says that Undertaker is no more. He reminds us what he did to Taker weeks ago and that he is no longer a phenom. Kane says that he is just a man, a man he once knew. He’s just like Bret – weak, feeble, over-the-hill, and irreversibly damaged. The last time Undertaker was Undertaker was when he ended Shawn Michaels’ career. Bret fires back saying that he can’t wait until Taker comes back and beats Kane just like every other time they faced off. Kane says that he always wanted to break out of Taker’s shadow. Taker took out an icon in Shawn Michaels, so he needs to take out an icon in Bret Hart. GOOZLE! The Hart Dynasty is out and they are dispatched. Bret gets a few shots in…GOOZLE! The lights go out and Undertaker stands tall in the center of the ring! Kane takes the coward way out and the RAW GMail chimes in. Michael Cole reads the email and the main event is announced. Bret Hart v. the Undertaker! That match should be interesting.
RAW Moments: Episode #1 – WELCOME TO MONDAY NIGHT RAW!
Commercials.
RAW Moment: Episode #279 – Steve Austin takes over a Zamboni and kicks Vince’s ass.
Triple Threat Tag Team Match: Kofi Kingston & Michael McGillicutty v. Kaval & Daniel Bryan v. Alex Riley & The Miz
Makes sense since Kaval and Bryan know each other pretty well. Riley and Bryan start things off, but Kofi sneaks in and covers. Bryan breaks the fall and it seems that it is truly triple threat rules. Bryan has Riley in the corner and Michael Cole called the submission move correctly, the LaBelle Lock. Riley takes it to Kingston and scores a two count. Riley gets the rights on Kofi and Bryan takes him down. Kofi with the Boom Drop and he covers, Bryan breaks it up. Bryan misses wildly and Kofi connects with a crossbody. Tag to Kaval and McGillicutty! Kaval counters a headscissors into a modified sleeper. Riley gets sent to the Miz. Tag, but Riley gets sent to the corner, knocking Miz off. Kaval somersaults into a kick and we get the DOUBLE FOOT STOMP! Miz from behind with the Skull Crushing Finale for the win!
Winners: The Miz & Alex Riley
Grade: C+
Alex Riley distracts Daniel Bryan, which allows the Miz to unload with a briefcase shot to the throat.
Commercials.
Last week: Melina shuts Jillian up and LayCool has an offer Melina can’t refuse.
LayCool is in the ring for the next match.
Michelle McCool & Layla v. Melina & Eve Torres
Michelle misses wildly, but recovers nicely to tag in Layla. She works over Melina before using the hair to plant her to the mat. Melina rams Layla into Michelle and schoolgirls her for the win!
Winners: Melina & Eve Torres
Grade: FTS
After the match, LayCool makes the proposal to challenge Melina to a title unification match! Melina accepts under one condition…she wants a Lumberjill match! LayCool agrees and the RAW Divas line up rank and file to have Melina’s back.
RAW Moment: Episode #889 – When Nexus Strikes
The Nexus argue a bit and Otunga says that they trimmed the fat in regards to Darren Young and Skip Sheffield. They need to do something that will never be forgotten and Wade knows what that is.
Commercials.
We’re back and here’s another RAW Moment.
RAW Moment: Episode #850 – Bob Barker belittles Chris Jericho.
Josh Matthews is with Jericho. Jericho says he’s the best in the world because it is true. It’s time to take matters into his own hands. If he doesn’t win the WWE Championship at Night of Champions, he’s gone from the WWE. Josh Matthews calls into his bluff, but Jericho cuts him off again. He will prove to everyone that he is who he says he is.
WWE Tag Team Championship #1 Contender Match: John Morrison & R-Truth v. To Be Determined After the Break.
Commercials.
Now maybe we can get an opponent.
WWE Tag Team Championship #1 Contender Match: John Morrison & R-Truth v. “Dashing” Cody Rhodes & Drew McIntyre
Truth and Rhodes start things off and Rhodes kicks Truth to start. Truth responds by taking Rhodes down. The match immediately gets out of control and we get a double DQ. Lame.
Result: Double DQ
Grade: FTS
Everyone take everyone else out and in the end, Truth & Morrison stand tall.
Undertaker v. Bret Hart is NEXT!
Commercials.
RAW Moment: Episode #867 – Shawn & Bret make up!
Bret Hart v. The Undertaker
So now the Undertaker wears a hoodie? The bell doesn’t get to ring as Wade Barrett makes his way on the stage stating the match is not going to happen. Seems that this is the statement that the Nexus will make. Wade goes to attack Taker, but he gets sent out of the ring. The lights darken and Kane shows up inside the ring using Taker’s trademark entrance. The brothers go at it! The lights darken again and Kane disappears. The Nexus’ music plays again and it seems that the Undertaker is surrounded five on one. Taker holds his own and the lights go dark yet again! We go back on and Barrett lays waste to Taker via the Wasteland. Gabriel goes to the top and he hits the 450 splash while Kane looks on. Taker does the zombie sit up, but falls short.
Result: No Match
Grade: FTS (Three in a row?)
Commercials.
We’re back and we recap the last segment.
Here’s someone who used to be relevant, Jack Swagger. He calls himself the American Hero and a former World Champion. Well, hell, here’s an opponent he knows well.
Jack Swagger v. Evan Bourne
The bell rings and he overpowers Bourne to start. He posts Bourne twice before Bourne gets some kicks in. Some weird music…Alberto Del Rio makes his entrance, complete with his Spanish ring announcer. Meanwhile, Jack Swagger continues to own Evan Bourne. Sorry, I don’t watch SmackDown. Bourne makes his comeback and he goes for AirBourne, but misses. Anklelock applied and Bourne taps out.
Winner: Jack Swagger
Grade: D
Del Rio is on the microphone saying that Rey Mysterio is in a hospital. Since the RAW audience didn’t see what happened on SmackDown, he’ll use Evan Bourne as an example. He applies the cross-arm breaker on Bourne before kicking him out of the ring. He takes a steel chair and he looks to break the arm. Mark Henry comes out for the save and he punches through the chair, but Del Rio escapes harm.
We recap WWE in China.
Commercials.
RAW Moment: Episode #331 – This is Your Life, Rock.
The Straight Edge Society makes their way to the ring. He asks if we know who he’s better than? The Rock. He doesn’t drink, smoke, or make crappy movies. Seems the fans still love the Rock. Seems he doesn’t. Punk then trashes RAW as a show for promoting poor family values. He mocks DX, Katie Vick, and he wants to show four atrocious acts committed by RAW Superstars.
Exhibit A: Episode #824: Property Damage.
Exhibit B: Episode #691: Irresponsible & Reckless Behavior
Exhibit C: Episode #257: Trespassing
Exhibit D: Episodes #304 & #754: Excessive Usage of Alcohol via Firehose
Punk can’t believe that the fans could cheer for someone like that. And Punk wishes he never used Stone Cold’s name in vain as his music breaks the mood! Seems Punk had that planned. Punk continues to berate the fans in Boston and he’s in a great mood. He has one more clip from SmackDown. The episode where Big Show superplexes Brock Lesnar through the ring. Here comes Big Show wearing a nice attire. Big Show is happy to be on RAW. Big Show seems appalled that Punk uses a fat joke. We are reminded of the tainted burrito that gave him the shits for a week. Or the sumo wrestling match he was in. Hell, even kissing Vickie Guerrero is more embarrassing. We get Big Show mocking Hulk Hogan. Punk finds that boring. Big Show says that was mean, so Punk continues. Big Show is not High, but Tall. Punk gets bitchslapped and Gallows takes the fall for the SES.
Commercials.
RAW Moment: Episode #450 – Triple H RETURNS!
Josh Matthews interviews Sheamus on the stage. Sheamus takes the microphone from Josh to remind us that Triple H isn’t here because of him. He feels that he is being treated unfairly because of this. He complains because he has to tag with four of his opponents. He utters the discrimination word and this brings out Edge. He has a headache, fella. Edge has been thrown into the Long Island Sound, had psychopaths break up his weddings, ex-employees kicking his ass, among others. However, Edge won many titles and he vows to win one more. The main event is NEXT!
Commercials.
WWE Rewind: The RAW GMail makes a six pack challenge for the WWE Championship and Randy Orton is the last man standing last week.
Sheamus, Edge, Chris Jericho, Randy Orton, & John Cena v. The Nexus
Elimination rules apply tonight. Everyone makes their entrances and we take one final break.
Commercials.
Jericho and Cena argue to see who starts first. Jericho wins and he faces off against Michael Tarver. Jericho gets the crowd behind him before walking out on the match. Chris Jericho eliminates himself. Edge steps in and he pushes Charles Robinson down for a DQ. Edge gets DQ’ed for pushing the ref down. Cena is in and he owns Tarver before tagging in Sheamus. Sheamus continues the assault and he covers for two. Tag to Slater and Sheamus clotheslines him to boot. Suplex by Sheamus and he covers for two. Slater gets posted and he continues the pressure in the corner. He pulls Slater out of the ring and the fight continues. Back inside and Sheamus pins for two. Tag to Otunga and he takes him to the ropes. They can’t take him down, but Sheamus clotheslines him for goodness sake. Down goes Otunga again. Otunga gets a moment to where he tags in Slater. Sheamus is in trouble and Gabriel is in. He hits Sheamus a couple times before tagging in Wade Barrett. Tag to Slater. Sheamus is being wore down. Backslide is countered and Sheamus goes for the I-Cross, but he’s countered. Sheamus is in the wrong corner. He fights out, but Gabriel kicks Sheamus. Slater with the reverse DDT for the pin! HERE COMES CENA, PISSED! Slater gets planted before Cena glares at the Nexus. Slater gets his attitude adjusted and he’s gone. Barrett comes in and he is over Cena. He gets tossed out and the Nexus attacks. Barrett comes outside and he weakens Cena some more. Cena kicks out at two. Tag to Gabriel and he kicks Cena in the jaw. The referee is distracted as Barrett sneaks a punch in. Cena kicks out again. Gabriel charges and connects at the ropes. Cover and two. Tag to Otunga and Cena counters a suplex into one of his own. Cena crawls to Orton, but Otunga knocks him off. Cena plays possum and he makes Otunga tap out. Gabriel hits the 450 immediately and he pins Cena! Orton in…RKO! Gabriel is out! Tarver is in. Tarver is out! Barrett is in and he hits Wasteland! Barrett is the sole survivor!
Winners: The Nexus
Grade: C (Ending felt rushed)
Show Over.
