Right off the bat, we get to watch all the tension-y goodness between Otunga and Barrett. I missed Raw this week, so it’s news to me to see that Barrett told Otunga that he would go back to Smackdown. And if he didn’t win against Edge, he’d be removed from Nexus. Well, THAT’S music to my ears. Fingers crossed he can go back to humping Jennifer Hudson’s leg.
Atrocious Green Day opener, and here we go!
Big Show vs Kane in the main event. Wow. That sounds exciting (not)!
Edge makes his way out, out of ring gear. He discusses his sort of feud with Kane, and then Wrestlemania, and then Otunga. One of these things, is not like the other…
Nexus, on cue, walks out. This is not good, as it means Otunga might have to speak. Oh wait, a voice worse than his interrupts, as Vickie walks out. She says she has a huge announcement, informs us that Teddy is detained, and she’s in charge. She says that if any of the Nexus interferes, he will be disqualified. Even more interesting, Nexus will be allowed at ringside, but so will the entire Smackdown roster. Hmmm. As both men go to leave the ring, Edge attacks Otunga quickly and his music tears through the arena.
Cut to a big fancy car outside, of course it’s Alberto del Rio. He’ll be facing Kofi Kingston next.
Commercial.
Alberto enters. Kofi enters. Bell rings, and off we go!
Kofi’s hair is already Shawn Michaels status, as the action slowly rises and then drops, slow and steady. Alberto gets the upper hand with a few powerful spots, but Kofi returns the favor by bouncing all over the place. Alberto rolls out to collect himself, dives back in, denied by Kofi with a baseball slide. Kofi goes for the most graceful suicide dive I’ve ever seen, tosses him back in the ring. Alberto lands his patented kick, launching Kofi, and we go to…
Commercial.
Come back, both men in the ring, and Alberto in control. He mocks Kofi’s trademark claps, before slamming him hard into the mat. Kofi begins to rally after a bit more abuse, to the top rope, and soars higher than anyone else for a killer crossbody! Boom Drop connects, Trouble in Paradise misses, del Rio begins working on the left arm. Cross Arm Breaker, and Kofi taps.
Grade: C+
I’m officially on the del Rio bandwagon, but he seemed lazy tonight. This was a hell of a match though, and I enjoyed it from start to finish. I don’t think he’s had a bad opponent yet.
Rey Mysterio’s music begins, he charges the ring, hits a 619, and Alberto retreats.
Nexus backstage, they’re coming up with a game plan, and Heath Slater’s overly Southern voice is punching me in the face. Otunga’s overly feminine voice is a bit worse, as he puts on his worried face.
Commercial.
And we’re back. Natalya enters, looking magnificent. Next, Layla…I can’t remember the last time I saw her enter alone…what the hell?
Natalya pounces, already impressing. Goes for a suplex, suspends Layla for a moment, then drops her. Layla lands a solid kick, grounding Nattie for a two count. Another interesting submission from Layla, Nattie finds a way to fight out of it. Sharpshooter locked in, Layla taps.
Grade: C-
Let’s give these women decent time. Two women that can actually wrestle? ‘Tis a rarity.
Cut to Kane and his scary discount Halloween CD music, trying to convince us that he’ll kill Edge. Oh, and that Undertaker sucks, apparently. Same as always.
Commercial.
Edge enters. Next up is Nexus…sporting the coolest effing sweatshirts I’ve ever seen. Who is buying me one for Christmas? Now, the rest of the Smackdown roster, to a song that stomps Green Day’s monstrosity.
Bell rings. Edge charges, but the focus is on the Blue Crew as they shove the Nexus aside. Otunga tossed out and the lumberjacks do what they’re supposed to. Otunga distracted by the men (insert jokes here) and…
Commercial.
WAIT. Did I just see Finlay?! Best Smackdown ever. But I digress.
Back to the action. Otunga tossed out, back in. Edge tossed out, Alberto takes a cheap shot on Edge, Otunga lands a few kicks as the Blue Crew argue. Slow action, Otunga somehow in control. Edge starting to gain momentum, subtle moves all around. Edge lands a kick on del Rio and all the Smackdown boys go at it. Edge DDT’s Otunga, Spear to Hennig who tried to interfere, Kane runs in and Chokeslams Edge. Otunga steals the win.
Grade: D-
Painfully slow, botchfest from Otunga, predictable, blah. The highlight of the match was seeing Finlay as a lumberjack.
Apparently Dolph will face MVP once more for the title after the commercial break.
Commercial.
Quick recap of last week’s triple threat. Dolph enters. MVP enters.
Immediate cover attempts from MVP, but Dolph won’t stand for it. MVP lands a solid kick to Dolph’s head but we’ll have to live in suspense as we go to…
Commercial.
Come back, and Dolph lands a few kicks. Quick offense from Dolph, pins MVP using the ropes, but he kicks out. Ziggler removes the top turnbuckle. As the referee tries to put it back on, MVP goes for a pin but there’s no one to count it. They trade offense for a moment, MVP getting the upper hand. Goes for Ballin’, connects, but Dolph gets his foot on the rope to break the pin. Both men to the top rope, MVP knocked down, Dolph kicked in the teeth by MVP, for two. Zig Zag connects, and it’s over in a flash.
Grade: C-
I didn’t see the usual greatness from either man tonight. The match was entertaining enough, I suppose. But they held back, and it was very cookie-cutter.
A Diva-specific Stand Up For WWE video. Yeah, we want the female youth to grow up making fun of other girls’ weight and shoving their boobs in our face. Just what this world needs!
Cut to Kane fumbling around backstage. He stumbles upon an empty urn, and seems enraged, enraged I tell ya!
Commercial.
Plug for Cena’s new DVD. Yawn.
Cody Rhodes’s music begins, but cuts quickly, as he carries a mic. He starts talking about the USA/England relationship, and cuts a live Grooming Tips promo, as Cole cackles like a barhag. Hands a fan some mouthwash, and a toothbrush to a child. This leads right into his actual Grooming Tips.
Kane is backstage, looking for Bearer and tossing around some lowly employees.
Commercial.
Kane, without Bearer. Then Show.
Show gets backed into the corner, but retaliates with a few big punches. Both men punish the ropes as they bounce off of them, but Show knocks Kane on his back. Kane works on the knee of Show. Chokeslam position from Kane to Show, Chokeslam position from Show to Kane, both go flying out of the ring. Quick pan-out to show Bearer tied up and bellowing while watching the match and then…
Commercial.
Come back, both men back in the ring, Kane locked for a long time in an arm-bar. DDT from Kane, flipping Show for two. Chinlock from Kane, Show fights out, and tosses Kane out of the ring. Both men to the top rope, Show goes for a Superplex, Kane shoves him off, Kane goes flying, covers for two. Clothesline from Show, big boot from Kane, Kane to the top rope for another clothesline. Chokeslam position, but Edge’s voice taunts Kane as he wheels Bearer out all tied up. Edge threatens to send Bearer flying in the wheelchair, Kane flips out, and walks into a Chokeslam from Show for the victory.
Grade: D
Boring and predictable.
Credits roll.
