Post season’s greetings, my friends. Hope the weekend of Christmas has treated you well (at least better than those of us in NYC and this beautifully inconvenient 2 feet of former precipitation). Let’s roll right into this week’s truth-be-told, yellow-and-gold, anything’s-better-than-the-cold episode of NXT Season 4.
Hooray theme song and pros well-seated on the stage. We’re welcomed with a “What’s Up!†from R-Truth as he enters the ring with his rookie, Johnny Curtis. Perfect, here comes Dolph Ziggler and the ever so lovely Vickie Guerrero, along with their rookie, Jacob Novak.
Johnny Curtis vs. Dolph Ziggler
They lock up with Ziggler gaining the upper hand. Another lock up with Ziggler again winning in the corner. He stomps a mudhole and follows it up with a modified snapmare into a chinlock. Curtis fights back only to run into an elbow. A few more kicks added to the mix by Ziggler. A whip to the corner and Curtis fights back with a clothesline, a few european uppercuts, and a suplex that Ziggler reverses. Ziggler hits a neckbreaker for a nearfall. He’s back to a chinlock. Curtis attempts to fight back only to be kicked and whipped to the corner. A missed splash by Ziggler signals an attempted comback by Curtis. He hits a few european uppercuts, followed by a flapjack. Curtis hits the top rope and misses a leg drop. Ziggler hits the Zig Zag and calls it a night.
Winner: Dolph Ziggler (via pinfall)
Commercials.
Derrick Bateman vs. Conor O’Brian
Bateman’s pro, Daniel Bryan, is replaced by Kofi Kingston this week. Bateman starts off early with an attempted heel lock. O’Brian quickly grabs the ropes. O’Brian eventually hits an arm breaker to take control. He gets an armbar over the ring ropes and gets a hammerlock in the middle of the ring, followed by a modified takedown and a nearfall. O’Brian gets a wristlock, which Bateman awkwardly gets out of, and mounts a comeback with punches, a corner slash, a corner dropkick, and a clothesline. Bateman gets a nearfall, which he follows with a kick and a running neckbreaker. Bateman gets another nearfall. O’Brian counters with a guillotine over the top rope and hits a full nelson slam for the uno-dos-tres.
Winner: Conor O’Brian (via pinfall)
Backstage fun with Teddy, Maryse, and Brodus. Oooh, dissention.
Commercials.
We’re back to the rookies on the stage with Stryker, mentioning the vote starting tomorrow at noon (mark those calendars, kids). The immunity challenge is the punching meter from previous seasons. I love how the announcers are calling this boring outright. Johnny Curtis wins the two immunity points.
Commercials.
Byron Saxton vs. Ted DiBiase
We start this match off by talking about Maryse’s purse. I mean a quick toss by DiBiase. Lock up and a few monkey tosses by Saxton catches DiBiase off guard. Another lock up and DiBiase corners Saxton with kicks and a boot choke. Saxton reverses a whip into a kick and bulldog, followed by a nearfall. DiBiase fires back with kicks and a hard dropkick for the nearfall. DiBiase hits some rope-assisted stomps. Now, we’ve got a chinlock applied on Saxton. The rookie attempts a comback only for DiBiase to hit a clothesline and get a nearfall. DiBiase hits a few knees and a fistdrop for another nearfall. And we’re back to another chinlock. Saxton fights out of it and hits a sunset flip for a nearfall. DiBiase hits a hard clothesline, followed by a mount and punch. A few cocky kicks and DiBiase is playing that aggressive angle quite aggressively. DiBiase chokes Saxton on the second rope before hitting a jawbreaker on the top rope. Saxton falls to the outside as Brotus teases a clothesline. And by teases, I mean he does it. Finito.
Winner: Byron Saxton (via DQ)
Afterwards, DiBiase and Maryse scold Brotus in the ring. DiBiase tells Maryse to slap Clay, which she does, and Brotus does….nothing. The happy couple then leave the ring
Commericlals.
Raw Rebound. I think we’ve come to find the perfect superstar in CM Punk. Let’s hope they have Cena do something other than poorly attempted comedy routines in this little drama.
Some backstage antics with Johnny Curtis and R-Truth. Well, there’s something new. Some dissention between rookie and pro? Get out.
Commercials.
We’re back, lovely people, and right into this talent show. So, we’re just rampaging through every reality tv format network tv has to offer. Derrick Bateman speaks a haiku, attempting a cheap pop. Johnny Curtis shows off his ribbon dancing skills. Byron Saxton reads a fairy tale. So, this is something to take seriously. Conor O’Brian’s got jokes. Jacob Novak attempts a John Morrison impression. It’s amazing how this one segment alone displays the problem of overemphasizing the “sports entertainment†aspect of our beloved past time. Brodus Clay just…talks. Huh. Wow, Cole interrupts and, basically, speaks the truth about the show. And it mimicking a baby with a pacifier. Cole dumps on every rookie except Brodus Clay. Cole runs through Rochester, Kaval, and pimps his Cole Miners. If Cole didn’t play bipolar and actually stuck with this act, he’d garner just as much heat as Vickie Guerrero. Based on fan reaction, Johnny Curtis wins. Now, a brawl erupts, which ends with Brodus Clay annihilating everyone. It’s tough to know who they’re pushing in this scenario. About as tough as Kaval to find work in TNA.
And they all lived happily ever after. Until next week.
