Pulse Wrestling WWE NXT Report: 03.08.2011 – Jacob Novak, Byron Saxton, Darren Young,

And the night finally arrives where the curtain unveils the mystery that surrounds NXT Season 5. Hola, amigos. This is your friendly neighborhood recapper, Jonah Kue.

Regal is commentating! Already liking this season a bit more than the last one.So, our intro has Stryker and his guest, the ravishing Maryse, have called out rookies from past seasons of NXT. They are listed as follows:

Darren Young
Byron Saxton
Lucky Cannon
Conor O’Brian
Titus O’Neil
Jacob Novak

These gentlemen are fighting for a spot in Season 6. So, I suppose that answers the question about the cancellation of this series. Joy. Apparently, no immunity this season either. So, we’re distancing ourselves a bit from “Survivor”, are we? We’re bringing in the pros now. The first pro is Chavo Guererro for Darren Young. Conor O’Brian’s pro is none other than Vladmir Kozlov. Tyson Kidd is out to mentor Lucky Cannon. Take note, Lucky. It takes a special kind of Hart to get owned by a midget at the Rumble. Byron Saxton gets the privilege to teach a course of ESL to Yoshi Tatsu. JTG is Jacob Novak’s pro. That’s about it. Oh, Titus O’Neil has his pro in….the fucking midget? I hate myself.

Commercial. A promo of Wrestlemania. For some reason, Kid Rock gets a cameo in this promo. That guy is harder to get rid of than VD. Or the fucking midget.

Jacob Novak vs. Darren Young

Bell rings and we’ve got a lock up, as Novak and Young take each other to the outside of the ring. They get back in, as Young hits a clothesline to gain the upper hand. Young attempts a German, which Novak fights out off and hits a shoulderblock, only to hit elbowed and hiptossed by Young for a nearfall. Young follows with a chinlock. Novak fights out, but eats a European uppercut. Novak hits a big boot, then hits a few elbows to the head in the corner. Young gets whipped to the corner, tries to fight back, and eat a clothesline and a boot for a nearfall. Novak gets a modified sleeper on Young, who attempts to fight out and backs Novak into the corner a few times. Young hits a bit of token offense, but eats another clothesline for Novak to get a nearfall. Young hits a Northern Light’s suplex with the bridge for a nearfall. Young gets a Manhattan drop in, then hits a back body drop before hitting a twisting full nelson slam for the win.

Winner: Darren Young via pinfall

Backstage antics with Maryse and Yoshi Tatsu. The former wants to form some kind of Japanese-French-Canadian allegiance, most likely through non-PG formats. Saxton, representing the U.S. Ad sensing the international threat that this potential alliance would cause, will have none of it as he interrupts the two. Oh, and hilarity is, therefore, ensued.

Commercial. We get a Raw Recap. It’s amazing how, night after night, the Miz proves himself to be the breath of fresh air of the company, yet is overlooked and no sold at every turn by Cena and the Rock. All I can say is there had better be a fucking payoff.

We come back to a video package of Conor O’Brian. I can’t see him get above lower mid-card hell. But hey, said the same thing about a certain current WWE Champ whose Awesome hoodie I wear on a weekly basis.

Really? Another “Chaperone” promo? This is upsetting. It’s not like this is going to make me add this on my Netflix Queue or anything. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go….polish….my…Wii remote?

We’re back to the Boot Camp obstacle course. Wait, if there is no immunity, then what the hell is the point to all these challenges? Shit, sorry, I’m asking logical questions, aren’t I. Well, Darren Young wins it. Whatever “it” is, he wins it.

Commercial.

We recap the whole Cole/JBL/Austin segment from last night. Rather telegraphed, but it was a fun segment. It’s a bit odd to think how much of ‘Mania has become privvy to the nostalgia effect.

Video package of Byron Saxton. I like this kid. Hope he wins it.

Titus O’Neil vs. Lucky Cannon

I apologize for the lack of detailed play-by-play here, but at this point of the show, my internet connection started going a bit haywire. Basically, at the end of it, Titus wins with a small assist from the midget,

Winner: Titus O’Neil via pinfall

Tyson gets pissed, but is run out of the ring, and show over.

Be sure to catch Kue’s Korner tomorrow for more fun and fanaticism from yours truly. Nighty night, folks.

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