The View From Down Here – The Wrestler In Society

 So… How have retired wrestlers coped in modern society? I thought we’d look at just three of them…

-=[****]=-

“Good morning, Sir. How may I, uhh, help you?”

“I wish to membership myself of this public library service.”

“I need to see some ID.”

“This should suffice.”

“Okay, a permit to be a Warrior. And that would be for Jim Hellwig…”

“Warrior.”

“Sorry. Jim Warrior.”

“No. Warrior!”

“Warrior Hellwig?”

“Warrior! Warrior!”

“Ahh. Warrior Warrior.”

“Yes.”

“Here you go.”

LATER.

“Arrraaaaarrrrraaaauuuuugh!!”

“What is wrong, Sir? Did you get your tassels caught in the periodicals again?”

“No! This so-called dictionary is nothing but a device used to distort the minds of the mindless!”

“Sir?”

“It does not contain the word ‘Destrucity’!”

“And that would be?”

“It is a word that describes the goal of Warriors! It is one I have developed to fulfil a part of my philosophy indefinable by the standards of today’s pathetic, weak society.”

“It’s a word you made up?”

“That would be a crude way of putting it.”

“So why are you looking it up?”

“I need to know what it means, don’t I!”

-=[****]=-

“I’m sorry, Steve, but I don’t think you’re suited for work here.”

“Why the hell not?”

“Well, most people at the bank don’t drink on the job.”

“What?”

“Most people at the bank…”

“What?”

“Oh, yes, that habit as well. We’ll come to that…”

“What?”

“Ah-hem. But the drinking is just one little part of it.”

“What?”

“How many bosses have you gone through this year? How many supervisors have quit because of you?”

“What?”

“I’ll tell you, shall I? Sixteen. And why so many? Because every time you have a disagreement with your boss what do you do? Hmmm?”

“If you want to see me kick some as, give me a Hell Yeah!”

“Who are you talking to, Steve?”

“What?”

“Okay. Well, apparently you give them the finger. Yes, like that. And then you… Ooof, yes, kick them, and then… Urk, ow!”

THUD.

“How d’you like that, you summbitch?”

“The problem… is… you’re an… excellent mortgage forecloser…”

-=[****]=-

“So, let me get this straight, Mr Helmsley. You are offering us seven million for our company?”

“Uhh, yes-uhh.”

“Despite the fact it was valued at over twenty million three months ago.”

“Uhh, yes-uhh.”

“I don’t see how you can possibly think we would accept such a pathetic offer.”

“This is-uhh a new regime-uhh. I am the new boss-uhh. What I says-uhhh, goes-uhh.”

“I still fail to see what you could… Did you just spit your water all over me?”

“Uhh.”

“This is preposterous! I am leaving… What’s that? Is that a sledgehammer?”

BANG! Crack…

“Oh, it’s real. That desk was… oh, Mr Helmsley, what are you planning on doing with that?”

“Uh-uh-uh.”

“This is not laughing matter! I shall have my attorneys ensure charges are pressed, and you shall… Urk!”

“Seven-uhh million.”

“Sounds… good…”

-=[****]=-

Yeah, I know.

If I was better at video editing, I would have done it that way, but as it is… here it is…

Have a good Rumble!

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