The Bachelorette 2012 – Hometown Dates Episode Review – “There’s no Curacao for this Lovesickness”

Wow, has this season flown by or what? Emily is down to only three guys on The Bachelorette, and it’s a close race. Early on, I thought Arie and Sean were sure bets for the final two. But last week complicated that. Sean clearly had the best family, but Emily’s connection with him doesn’t seem to be as strong as it is with Arie or Jef. Emily and Arie have had a lot of heat from the start, and when Jef read that letter she basically melted. So going into this week, I thought Sean had an uphill battle.

The final three kicked things off in beautiful, tropical Curacao and Sean got the first date.

Isla Bonita

Sean and Emily spent the day on a private island, which was the perfect place for him to drop the L-bomb. Doesn’t he know he’s the only guy who hasn’t said it yet? He’s falling behind! But the whole time Sean and Emily sat on the beach and talked, he didn’t take the dive. (I was pretty sure he’d play that card during dinner anyway, but Emily was obviously anxious to hear those three important words.) Eventually, Sean awkwardly suggested they try scuba diving and Emily reluctantly agreed.

But then at dinner, Sean pulled out the big guns. He read Emily a letter that he’d written for Ricki. It was written assuming he and Emily end up together, though it clearly meant more for Emily. Finally, awkwardly, Sean told Emily that he has fallen in love with her. Hurray! Way to finally take the plunge, buddy.

You may remember that when Emily was on The Bachelor, she did spent the night with Brad but made it clear that nothing would happen. This time, she has opted to spend some private off-camera time with the guys, but to send them home before morning.

Ahoy, Mateys

Next, Emily and Jef went on a date on a private yacht. It definitely seemed to go well, and they talked more about Jef as a dad and his role in Ricki’s life.

But let’s skip the boring stuff. I liked that during dinner, Jef had a bunch of questions for Emily. Like real, practical questions. Where would they live? Anywhere. (First of all, that was a cop-out answer. Second of all, why does the Bachelor always want women to move to his city, but the Bachelorette is ALWAYS willing to uproot her life for whoever she chooses.) Why haven’t previous relationships worked out? Would he be a good fit with Ricki?

I especially liked that Jef asked if he’d be a good fit with Ricki. He isn’t just thinking about him as a dad, he’s thinking about two personalities and the relationship they’d be able to have. I try not to kid myself into thinking that any relationship from this show could last, but good on Jef for actually thinking about these things.

Jef also gave the best answer for “what do you think of the fantasy suite”, basically telling Emily exactly what she’d planned to say to him regarding why it was a bad idea. The guys was scoring points all over the place. If only he hadn’t said the icky words “bridle these passions.”

Dolphin Tale

Speaking of passions, next Emily and Arie had their date. They also went on a boat, but they got to go swimming with dolphins – cool! I should make fun of Emily for being scared of the dolphins, but I would probably also react that way. Yesterday I went for a walk on my lunch break and there were a lot of butterflies and dragonflies on the path, and I freaked out a little. (Don’t judge! When I see something flying out of the corner of my eye I assume it is a wasp, and I’m allowed to be afraid of wasps. Get off my back, guys! Geez!)

On the boat, it became pretty clear that Emily and Arie’s connection is very physical. It’s like their mouths are super-glued together or something, you can’t pull those kids apart. But will Emily question if the relationship actually goes deeper than that?

Arie and Emily also had a practical conversation about their daily lives and I wondered if they would really gel. He gets up at nine a.m., and she laughed out loud at the luxury of sleeping in past six. He goes out for dinner every night with friends – sure, it’s because he’s sad and lonely, but is that something he really wants to give up? It’s certainly not something I want to give up. Luckily, he could pull out the “I’ve dated a woman with kids before” card and could talk about slowly building a relationship with someone else’s kids. You’ve got to hand it to the three guys Emily had whittled it down to – they all seem to take the idea of being a dad seriously.

Decisions, Decisions

This was the rose ceremony that producers have been pimping for weeks, where Emily breaks down in tears over which of the guys she should send home. Chris Harrison’s sympathetic gaze took on a whole new meaning thanks to the gossip on the Interwebs.

Emily had to watch a video plea from each of the guys, because the producers really wanted to turn on the waterworks. She should have been crying over that brutal fake ponytail, if she was crying over anything. If I had to, I would have guessed that Emily was sending Sean home. But I’ve gotta say, these guys are probably the least obnoxious final three anyone has ever had. They all seem, you know, like decent humans. I wasn’t sure what Emily would end up doing. And poor Emily looked so genuinely distraught over having to let someone go, I really did find myself pitying her. It’s rare that I feel that for someone who’s chosen to go on this show, but I don’t think Emily anticipated being left with three guys as good as Sean, Jef and Arie. Who would? They all seem like good fits for her.

Jef was given the first rose. Then Arie. So I’d been right all along, Sean was being sent home to Kensington’s Cottage. The poor guy. Emily could have handled things better, sitting in silence with him until she finally asked “What are you thinking about.” What do you think he’s thinking about? But then she started sobbing and I felt like I had to cut her a break. It was maybe one of the most genuine breakups we’ve seen on The Bachelorette. Sean handled everything with class, but he looked crushed. Hey, look on the bright side buddy – you’re totally Bachelor material! (Jef is too short to be the Bachelor. Arie, well, I expect him to win.)

Next week we have the The Men Tell All episode, followed by the finale on Sunday, July 22. Was that Emily’s dad saying you can’t love two people at once? Was that blond Real Housewife telling her not to get engaged her mom? I’m so intrigued to meet Emily’s parents since we never saw them on The Bachelor. And tears! Lots of tears! It looks like Emily is going to really agonize over the decision. Will it be Arie or Jef? Will she panic and decide that she can’t get engaged to a man who hasn’t met her daughter? Will she dump them both and go back to Sean? So many possibilities! I can’t wait, y’all.

And before we go, what was that sound Arie made every time he screwed up a take, anyway? Murp? Mehp? Meep?

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