WWE Superstars Report 7.26.2012 (Zack Ryder, Drew McIntyre, Sin Cara, Tyson Kidd)

I apologize for the lateness of this article. Things have been somewhat “chaotic” for me. No worries thought, everything is cool now. Now onto “The Superstars Report.”

This week’s episode opens with short video package with pictures of the various personalities that have come and gone throughout W.W.E.’s existence. If there’s one thing W.W.E. still does right, it’s highlight reels. It ends with the W.W.E. logo and the words, “Then, Now, Forever.” “Forever” huh? I’m starting to question if I want to stick around for “Now.”

Sin Cara vs. Drew McIntyre

Drew darts behind S.C. and picks him up for a waist lock take-down; he decides to just toss him to the other side of the ring instead. Drew bullies him into a corner with a collar-and-elbow tie-up but S.C. climbs and McIntyre finds out what it’s like to fly across the ring via an arm drag. Drew tries to hip-toss a running S.C. but he uses the ropes to land on his feet and gets Drew with another arm drag. McIntyre goes for a lariat and S.C. grabs his arm and swings around his back for another arm drag! Drew is reeling now and a dropkick sends him outside. He’s clearly frustrated now. I would be too if I had to compete in that lighting. S.C. clears the top rope with a slingshot cross body. Drew catches him and uses the ring edge to execute a shoulder breaker! This gets a 2-count for McIntyre. Drew puts him in a corner, alternates between stomps and punches and then uses the bottom rope to keep him in place while he pulls his left arm to continue working the shoulder. Drew goes for the pin after a wrist-lock throw and gets 1. S.C. finds himself in a shoulder lock? Stryker calls it a bicep cutter so I’ll go with that. S.C. quickly gets to his feet and throws a few punches to the gut but Drew stops him cold by throwing him down. Can you stop someone hot? I’ll have to look into that. Drew bends down to pick S.C. up and gets a pair of kicks to his head. S.C. kips-up and takes Drew off of his feet with the head-scissors! S.C. descends from the second turnbuckle for the head scissors takeover; Drew pulls him back up mid-move and power-bombs him back into the corner! He takes too long going for the cover and only gets 2. Drew goes back to work on the shoulder with a pair of stomps. He adds a jumping one for good measure and puts his foe in a shoulder lock. S.C. gets up and uses multiply roundhouse kicks to the thigh to break the hold. He goes for a toe kick but Drew catches his foot. S.C. does a back flip to escape but before he can regain his bearings Drew pulverizes him with a lariat! Drew goes for a pair of pins but S.C. kicks out at 1 both times. S.C. takes a backdrop suplex (with a hammerlock) as they show a replay of the lariat and neither commentator acknowledges it. I hate when they do that. Drew picks him up for scoop slam but S.C. escapes, hits the ropes and rattles Drew’s skull with a tilt-a-whirl-ddt but only gets 2 this time! S.C. rolls to the apron and when Drew walks over he gets a gamengiri! S.C. re-enters with a springboard frankensteiner and quickly follows that with a handspring back elbow. Drew catches S.C. coming off the ropes but ends up eating ring boards after a face buster! S.C. pins him but only gets 2. S.C. goes for another springboard maneuver but is dropkicked in the gut! Drew only gets 2 though. McIntyre hoist S.C. up for a power-bomb and Sin Cara reverses it with a hurricanrana to score the victory.

Tyson Kidd & Justin Gabriel vs. Curt Hawkins & Tyler Reks

Gabriel takes down Hawkins with a headlock. Hawkins pushes him off after a few seconds and gets knocked down with a shoulder-block. Gabriel runs the ropes and cartwheels over Hawkins when he l down on the mat to avoid him; when Hawkins finally stands back up he finds himself in a shoulder-lock after an arm drag. Gabriel applies a wrist-lock and tags in Kidd. Hawkins is whipped into a shoulder thrust from Kid who springboards into the ring with a roll-up for 2. Gabriel is tagged back in and Hawkins receives a pair of elbows to the gut, a double snap-mare and stereo roundhouse kicks to the chest and back before being pinned for a 2-count. Hawkins catches Gabriel with a jawbreaker and pushes his opponent into his corner. Gabriel tries to fight out of it with right hands but not before Hawkins make the tag. Reks pulls Gabriel out to the floor and pulverizes him with a stiff clothesline! Tyler & Curt appear to be in control as they go to commercial.

Gabriel takes a hard kick to the back from Hawkins as we rejoin the action. Reks gets the tag and Gabriel takes a knee to the back, two clubbing elbows, a scoop slam and a jumping knee drop for 2. I should point out that this sequence takes place during a replay of the earlier clothesline from Reks. Thanks guys in the truck! I would have forgotten what happened less than a minute ago if you didn’t remind me! Hawkins makes the tag and a suplex earns him a 2-count. Reks gets the tag. Hawkins slides out of the ring while simultaneously sweeping his legs with his right arm and Reks kicks him in the gut. Reks tells Gabriel to make the tag, then blocks his path so he can’t do so. Why you so mean Reks? Reks & Hawkins take turns beating on Gabriel. A fist drop here, a stomp there, a pair of lariats over yonder. Gabriel appears to be on his last leg but turns a back-breaker from Reks into an bulldog lariat and both men are down! Gabriel makes the tag and Kidd comes in with a springboard dropkick! Reks gets knocked down again with a jumping spinning side kick but gets up too quickly for Kidd’s liking so gets another S.S.K. to the midsection, which puts him in the perfect position for a running dropkick. Hawkins tries to blindside Kidd but isn’t sneaky enough and gets a jumping s.s.k. as well which sends him to the outside. Kidd does that backflip-kick-to-the-chest/face thing he does to land on the apron, kicks Hawkins in the chest, then pulls down the rope for Gabriel who takes out Hawkins with a somersault plancha. Kidd connects with a gamengiri then puts down Reks for good with a diving flipping neck-breaker to pick up the win for his team.

Main Event: Zack Ryder vs. Michael McGillicutty

Mike starts things off with an arm-drag and a “Let’s Go Ryder” chant breaks out. Despite The ‘E’s attempts to make him look as bad as possible people still cheer for him. Bob help him. Ryder finds himself in a corner after a collar-and-elbow-tie-up, Mike breaks at 4 and throws a punch but ends up on the receiving end of several rights from Ryder. Mike reverses an Irish-whip but his reversal is reversed with a face-buster! A dropkick forces Mike to kick out after 1. Ryder tries to pick the ankle and McG kicks him in his right knee, taking his legs out from under him. Zack tries to get to his feet and a clubbing blow to the back of the neck puts a stop to that. Mike stomps Zack a few times then throws him into a corner where he takes several right hands and a foot choke. McG uses a dropkick of his own to get a 2-count. Mike fishhooks Ryder with both hands before applying a side headlock. Zack gets back to his feet and McG throws 2 lariats; Ryder ducks the first one but the second strikes him in the back of the head. Mike gets a 2-count so to show his disdain for his foe he rubs his face into the mat then steps on it with his left foot. Mike picks up Ryder for a back-breaker and a diving double-axe-handle gets 2. Mike plants his right knee in Zack’s back and applies a cross-face and a few of the fans start another Ryder chant. Ryder uses the energy from his Broskis to become vertical again but a clubbing blow to the back puts him back on his stomach. Mike uses several more and breaks the fourth wall by looking directly into the camera. It’s like he can see my soul. My horrible, non-Irish soul. Mike picks him up for a suplex and Ryder shifts his weight to land on his feet and executes a hangman’s neck-breaker! Both men answer the count at 6 and Ryder catches a charging Michael with an elbow. Ryder then goes berserk with a running forearm, a lariat and a flapjack! Mike gets the leaping forearm to Broski Boot combo in the corner but he kicks out at 2! Another forearm staggers Mike but he recovers quickly and turns an Irish-whip into a saito suplex for 2! McG pushes him into a corner and sits him on the top turnbuckle. Ryder get pie-faced 4 times before slapping the taste out of McG’s mouth! Ryder then comes off the middle turnbuckle with a diving Rough Ryder to again victory over his “Superstars” nemesis!

Well that’s it for this we-oh wait, there’s over 4-minutes left!

This week’s episode ends with the closing minutes from the previous Raw. Now I’m sure that several of my fellow columnist have/will cover the last few minutes of the 7-30-2012 show in greater, and better, detail than I will so I’ll just add my quick 2 cents:

At first I wanted to call it an Ass Pull but there was that 45-second backstage segment he had with Eve over a month ago, and I guess you can include the in-ring segment with Bryan & The Rock,  so I can’t say there wasn’t any foreshadowing. I’m sure W.W.E. would like for it to come across as The Law of Conservation of Detail or hell, even Chekhov’s Gun. However most of their story lines seem as if they’re Writing by the Seat of Your Pants unless they just don’t care and do the previously mentioned Ass Pull. Oh, then there’s stuff like A.J. becoming the Raw G.M. I’d like to give them the benefit of the doubt but after seeing Punk cause the #1 Contenders’ Match to end in a draw and complaining that his bout for Summerslam is now a triple-threat contest I can see that they’re already turning him into a whiny, chickenshit heel. He’ll be an entertaining chickenshit but a chickenshit nonetheless.

Well that’s truly it for this edition of The Superstar’s Report. Be safe out there folks.

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