The Stomping Ground: SummerSlam Precognitions (Bryan, Cena, Lesnar, Punk)

Is it Thursday already? Shit, the week just flew by. Welcome back to Blair Douglas’s favorite masturbatory aid, The Stomping Ground.

So Money in the Bank has come and gone and I’m totally great at predicting these PPVs. With that in mind, I’d like to take a stab at the upcoming SummerSlam and see if I can’t figure out in what direction we’re heading for the majority of the card.

WWE Championship: John Cena vs Daniel Bryan
This one’s obvious but one factor that has yet to be considered is how the Bella Twins will figure into the show. It’s become common knowledge at this point that Bryan and Cena each have a Bella on their arm, but what’s becoming less of a rumor and more of a certainty is that Nikki and Brie will be getting involved. Apparently their E! reality show will be focused on their careers AND their love lives, so it appears as though they’ll be at ringside for the title match. I won’t mind it as long as they don’t get involved, but my intuition tells me the WWE is hell-bent on selling the Divas show so we’ll probably be saddled with some extra drama.

Brock Lesnar vs CM Punk
Both this and the previously reviewed WWE title match are all but guaranteed for SummerSlam 2013, and arguably these two matches are all you need to sell the PPV. Nothing else matters. I expect a brutal, vicious beating at the hands of Lesnar, with Brock defeating Punk thanks to Heyman’s interference. Now THIS is a Lesnar feud I can get behind.

Damien Sandow vs Cody Rhodes
A Cody face turn seems to be in order and I think Sandow has the potential to be a great main event heel; he just has to change things up in the ring. These two have nothing to lose in this match and everything to gain…especially if the Money in the Bank briefcase is on the line. Wait, scratch that…Sandow has everything to lose if the title shot is up for grabs.

World Heavyweight Championship: Alberto del Rio vs Sheamus vs Randy Orton
Yeah, I’m not looking forward to this either. It’s the only way to get these guys on the card based on my projections for the rest of the show. Plus, it’ll get people talking about the possibility of Orton holding both the WHC and WWE Championship (with successful cash-in) at the same time. And you know the WWE loves their intrigue.

Ryback vs Rey Mysterio
When last we saw Rey Mysterio…..actually, I can’t recall what the hell Rey Rey was up to. Wasn’t he teaming with Sin Cara? But this being California, I can see Mysterio return to face Ryback. What the hell else could he do?

Intercontinental Championship: Rob Van Dam vs Curtis Axel
Two Heyman guys going at it for a title. That’s all there is to it. I suspect Heyman will try to get RVD on his side before all is said and done.

Dolph Ziggler vs Big E Langston w/ AJ Lee
I could be wrong here, because this might lead into another title opportunity for Ziggler, but my gut tells me this feud needs to happen so Ziggler can officially distance himself from AJ.

The Usos and Mark Henry vs The Shield
Either this or we get a tag title/U.S. title match on the card, but with the PPV filled to the brim as it is, The Shield will probably get one match instead of two.

How would you build the card? Let me know in the comments section below.

So long, and thanks for all the fish.

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