Random Number of Thoughts on TNA Impact Oct 17 2013

“Bound For Glory, The PPV” is only a few days away, so let’s have a look at the go-home show!


1) We open with Dixie Carter, 2 security guards and a briefcase. She cuts a promo on AJ Styles and praises up Bully Ray. The heel heat isn’t too bad, but her delivery makes me want to gouge my ears out with a spork. Tonight she’s going to evaluate and motivate as the crowd chants, “We want Hogan!” And now she’s saying there’ll be a contract signing for the BFG main event, but some-one else might step up to the plate and take AJ’s place. Oh, God…


2) There’s $50,000 in the briefcase as a bounty on the head of AJ Styles. Now, I want to make this clear – I didn’t get that from anything Dixie said. Tenay had to explain it. I don’t think I’m stupid, but having Mike Tenay explain what I just heard…


3) Bully Ray comes out and wants a piece of the money. Magnus comes out and stands up for AJ, putting over the fact 12 men went through months for the right. His delivery is the best of the three so far. He is really playing the face here. So he… challenges Bully Ray. Duelling promos at 10 inches. Magnus drops him finally, and the match is accepted.


4) Ooh, that tattoo on Brooke is going to look like a vulture in 20 years’ time.


5) Backstage and Bully Ray gloats about the AJ beat-down last week with Knux and Bischoff, and promises he has their back.


6) Match 1 – a 4 corners match, one man from each of 4 tag teams trying to win so that in the pre-show gauntlet their team gets the final spot. Hernandez and Robbie E are in the ring already, Daniels follows, and then Eric Young is last. Oh… goody. Isn’t he supposed to be on a road-trip? I mean, away from here?! Please!?!


7) Hernandez’s choke overhead suplex is a nice move.


8) The match ends after a flurry of nice wrestling from Eric Young (seriously) and Robbie E steals the pin on Daniels from him, giving Bromance the advantage in the gauntlet.


9) Backstage, AJ Styles says it’s terrible being a marked man then Jesse from the Bromance attacks him. So AJ kills him, then says, “It’s gonna be a long night.”


10) Earlier tonight Dixie said some things. That was HALF AN HOUR AGO! AJ’s out to deliver the counter-promo. As much as Dixie’s promos are grating, AJ is really starting to get his feet on the mic. It’s only taken 12 years. Anyway, he’s calling out anyone to come and get the bounty. Knux and Bischoff answer the call. And we have a 2-on-1 beatdown. But here come Gunner and James Storm! Storm lets AJ know they’ve got his back. Well, that was… nothing.


11) Gunner v Knux is next. Way to sell that PPV! Tenay and Taz talk about Jackson v Ortiz, and who can blame them? After a long, slow, dull, plodding match, Gunner and Knux show why they’re in tag teams. Gunner wins, as if it matters.


12) Chris Sabin is off to get the 50k bounty. Velvet Sky thinks it’s a bad idea. Since when is Velvet Sky the voice of reason?


13) Knux and Bischoff bitch about Bully Ray not having their back after he promised he would! Ooh, lovers’ tiffs are so sad to see.


14) Lei’D Tapa and the Knockouts recap, followed by Gail Kim and Brooke (not Tessmacher) talking backstage. Gail Kim is sort of being positioned as the tweener in the BFG Knockouts match.


15) X-Division promo video is cool. Well, as far as I’m concerned, it will be the main event.


16) Sabin is looking for Styles and finds Samoa Joe. They have a match tonight and Joe makes Sabin look like he’s going to piss himself. I’m starting to appreciate Sabin’s acting more and more.


17) Earlier tonight Magnus challenges Bully Ray. Thanks for reminding me! It was less than an hour ago. I’m so stupid I probably forgot!


18) Match 3 (I guess): Sabin v Joe. Good match (finally tonight) and Joe wins with the rear naked choke submission. Not the greatest match ever, but certainly the best thing so far tonight. Anyway, afterwards, Aries comes in and hits a missile dropkick on Joe, then Jeff Hardy comes in and hits a twist of fate on Aries and grab a ladder. Sabin stops him, Manik comes in and cross body blocks Aries and Sabin from the ladder. THAT’S how you sell a PPV match!


19) Backstage EGO attack AJ Styles. He defeats them both with a fire extinguisher. Not as exciting as it sounds. I used to be really impressed with Daniels and Kazarian, and now… I get the feeling we’re going through yet another “make Daniels look like a chump” stage that TNA does every 8 months or so. So Daniels will quit/be fired, spend some time in the indys or at ROH, then come back, get a sort of a push for a while and we’ll go through it all again. Is it any wonder why the crowds have trouble getting behind the TNA originals?


20) EC3 photo shoot promo. You know, I don’t actually want to see this guy. These have done nothing for me. He’s just Rick Martel for the 21st century. Oh, and he’s going to be at BFG.


21) Match 4: Magnus v Bully Ray. Not a bad match, but Bully Ray wins after a low blow caused by inadvertent Sting distraction, thus sowing more seeds of dissent in Main Event Mafia prior to BFG. Why? The match does NOT need it! And backstage Samoa Joe is the voice of reason in MEM.


22) Duelling promos between Kurt Angle and Bobby Roode – another good sell for the PPV. Kurt Angle can say the most in the least amount of words of any wrestler. And, of course, Roode attacks Angle, Angle retailates, EGO comes out to make the save, so Roode locks in a crossface.


23) Main Event Contract Signings Are Cool!!


24) Bully Ray delivers an intense promo, name-dropping Ric Flair, Dusty Rhodes and Hulk Hogan. Wow! AJ’s response was surprisingly intense as well. And buggered if I can pick a winner. (I would have said AJ Styles, but I have a feeling this is going to be dragged out for a loooooooong time.) And then he signs the contract. It’s on like, shall we say, Donkey Kong.


25) Bully Ray attacks to get the 50k, AJ grabs the case, dumps the money on the security guards and we have a stand-off. Well, that was an underwhelming end to an intense case of duelling promos.


The last third of the show had not one match, but a lot of talking.


BFG had better deliver after this rather disappointing Impact(!) episode.


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