Random Thoughts: WWE Survivor Series 2013 (Who Will Survive?)

WWE Survivor Series 2013

 

<- The opening 5-on-5 match is going to be a hard match to follow & definitely a show-stealer!

<- Trending now – “The GOATS”! The Greatest Of All Teams! Awesome!

 

The Miz vs Kofi Kingston

<- I feel completely betrayed by The Miz after he sold out Kofi Kingston on Raw. Miz has always been so trustworthy before now!

<- Surprisingly good match between The Miz & Kofi Kingston. I really can’t put much more emphasis on “surprisingly”.

 

Cody Rhodes and Goldust, The Usos & Rey Mysterio vs. The Shield and The Real Americans

<- Zeb Colter just tried twerking. God I wish Vince would catch up on his news RSS feed so these jokes aren’t so dated.

<- The Shield’s only been around for a year?! By FAR the best first year for any wrestling stable in history!

<- All of that “high-flying” and Rey Mysterio is just chillin’ in the corner. I think it’s about time he bowed out gracefully.

<- Despite how HUGE of a fan of Edge I am, Roman Reigns has the best Spear since Goldberg.

<- If I’m Roman Reigns & I’m looking at Rey Mysterio and Goldust, I like my chances.

<- GREAT decision having Roman Reigns remain the sole survivor. Say hello to your new Batista.

<- Fun opening match that made Reigns look like a star.

 

Intercontinental Championship Match: Big E Langston (c) vs Curtis Axel

<- Not a surprise match that I’m particularly excited for but I guess they have to get Axel’s rematch out-of-the-way at some point.

<- Nothing to write home about but the crowd is definitely into Langston. Decent filler match.

 

Natalya, The Bella Twins, The Funkadactyls, Eva Marie & JoJo vs. AJ Lee, Tamina Snuka, Kaitlyn, Alicia Fox, Rosa Mendes, Aksana & Summer Rae

<- It looks like Kaitlyn & Rosa Mendes switched wigs.

<- Nothing like seeing a team of women who constantly bicker on Total Divas form a united front for a WWE PPV.

<- I just realized that we have to sit through at least 7 eliminations in this match. Damn.

<- Thank God they’re going through them faster than AJ’s gone through boyfriends.

<- Eva Marie gets ridiculous heat when she gets the tag & is promptly eliminated. Now I’m afraid she’ll be pushed because of the reaction she got.

<- I’m having 1-2-3 Kid flashbacks right now. Go JoJo!

<- Dammit! Looks like Tamina just kicked Nattie in her bladder! How dare she!?!?!?!

<- Are we finally going to get the Natalya/AJ Lee feud? I sure as hell hope so for Natalya’s sake.

<- This “Kickoff Show” idea is getting over well & they’ve executed it pretty well too. Hopefully WWE sticks with it.

 

Ryback vs Mark Henry

<- Henry looks SO much better without the dreadlocks. Younger too.

<- OK match continuing the burial of Ryback. I’m alright with that of course.

 

World Heavyweight Championship: John Cena (c) vs Alberto Del Rio

<- I’m not invested in this World Championship match at all. Then again, I don’t remember the last time either of these guys were interesting.

<- Paint by numbers John Cena match. Damn I wish Survivor Series was still all elimination matches.

 

Daniel Bryan & CM Punk vs The Wyatt Family (Erick Rowen & Luke Harper)

<- I seriously doubt that CM Punk & Daniel Bryan ever thought they’re first run as a main event tag team would be against two “hillbillies” that only debuted on the main roster a few weeks ago.

<- Good match that saw Punk get a great hot tag. I just hope this isn’t the end of their partnership.

 

WWE Championship: Randy Orton (c) vs The Big Show

<- A sleeper hold? As if the audience needed reminding that they could be asleep right now instead of watching this match.

<- That would have been an impressive DDT spot… if the two veterans didn’t botch it. I wonder if Randy Orton will go off on the Big Show about this one.

<- Orton wins with the dreaded Punt Kick after Big Show paused to listen to Triple H’s music. Then John Cena came to the ring to tease a title unification match once again. If they REALLY are going to go that route, did it have to be John Cena and Randy Orton? What did we do to deserve that?

 

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