RAGER’S 10 Thoughts: WWE Raw 8.25.14 (John Cena, Romen Reigns, Jack Swagger)

1. What happens when a pre-show panel has a drunken hook-up with a cheesy “never give up” Cena promo? The opening of Raw this week. Sure, it was great to see HBK but if he’s gonna come on the show where hunting clothing, I’d rather he grow that sweet hobo beard back. I do find it ironic that Michaels was the one saying Cena should consider hanging it up while he has his heath whereas Hulk was encouraging Cena to keep going as long as possible…while Ric Flair deserves kudos for sounding mostly sober and not marrying and divorcing someone in the time span of this segment. All kidding aside, this opening segment set the tone for the rest of this raw episode and that tone was “worthless.”

2. Yet another non-ending ending to a Rusev/Swagger match which really makes me wonder WWE is building this towards and what they think the outcome is gonna be. Conventional wisdom would be that it would all come to a head at Summerslam but they tried the whole Austin/Hart that definitely did not have any sort of finality about it, I’m assuming by design, and to make it all worse, Rusev/Swagger aren’t even in the same galaxy as Austin/Hart. WWE seems set on trying to make this a big deal so I wouldn’t be surprised if this lasted until Survivor Series or if WWE really felt ballsy, send Swagger on a road to redemption and Rusev continue his destruction through the roster until the two meet at WM31. I’m not saying I want this to happen but talk about a slow burn.

3. I have a guarded hopeful feeling about Cesaro and the US Championship, the same as I felt when Dolph started going for the IC belt. I’m happy if Cesaro wins it but it’s a belt he’s already won and did nothing with. However, it’s still an improvement from being lost in the shuffle which he seemed to be doing in recent weeks. All that aside, thank you Cesaro for the wonderful gift of this image.

4. Yeah, I don’t know where this AJ/Paige this is going but I know where I’d like it to go…

Okay, I apologize. That statement sounded creepy even for me.

Not like I’m gonna delete it or anything.

5. I know this joke was passed around on twitter quite a bit when it happened but during the eulogy, it wouldn’t surprise me if Dean Ambrose really did pop out of that picture on the easel. And congrats to Roman for finally remembering he was in Shield now instead of when Dean’s head went through cinder blocks last week. Or at least I assume his head went through cinder blocks. Camera angles and whatnot. It did break rather easily and I was raised to believe only dudes armed with jacked-up muscles and the power of Jesus had the ability to do such things, so sayeth Walker Texas Ranger.

6. GoldStar turned heel and now I’m salivating because Cody and Goldust were both really good heels so I can’t imagine how they’ll do with this whole Stardust thing.

7. So WWE decides to cancel the idea of having a stable of Xavier Woods, Kofi and Big E in a stable but this whole Brie and Nikki crime against humanity is allowed to live another day? This entire weak attempt at acting and shameful display of writing needs to be cleansed with fire.

8. Good to see both Matadores are back and healthy. Primo and Epico are a great tag team that I really enjoy and if this horrible gimmick gets them more camera time and more matches that I get to see, I’ll take it. At least they’re not saddled with Rosa Mendes anymore with her horrible ability to weakly grasp the Spanish language and even worse attempt of dancing. But hey, at least you’ll get to see her blurry ta-tas on the next season of Total Divas.

9. It’s sad to see Kofi lose to Bo Dallas for seemingly no reason. It’s even sadder to see him get pinned after this.

10. 6 man tag main event that involve Big Show, Mark Henry, Cena and the burial of the Wyatt family just to show that Super Cena still exists? I’d almost rather watch that Chrisly abomination.

Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do twice,

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