Pulse TV Flashback 12/05/2004: Donald Trump’s Apprentice, Ken Jennings Poem

Inside Pulse launched on August 9, 2004, and has covered the world of television for over a decade. Every day, we take a look back at what was happening in the world of television 10 years ago, as reported right here at Inside Pulse!

Riding Coattails: Candy Strippers

As the Donald sat smugly between George and Carolyn in the boardroom, echoing the tired sentiment that he “had no choice” but to fire Ivana, streams of insults galloped through my brain. Why should I take this combed over, pink-tie-wearing, finger-pointing, cliché-spouting clown seriously? And further, why would anybody want to work for someone so abusive? I realize the salary Trump pays his employees is enticing, but there are far easier, less degrading ways of raking in the cash. Don’t the remaining four realize they could be making hundreds of thousands of dollars every year by stuffing envelopes in their own homes? Or how about working as a chicken sexer? I hear that pays really well.

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Mike\s Soapbox: Sir Lawrence of Lauderdale Edition

Gilgamesh. Odysseus. Beowulf. Robin Hood. Pecos Bill. Legends all, whose heroic exploits have been preserved through oral tradition via epic ballads. Even with the technological advancements the world has made over the centuries, the ballad has endured and immortalized heroes. Men shall talk of Yellow Submarines, Peggy Sue, and Big Bad Leroy Brown, thanks to the lyrics penned about them. While it might seem like there’s a dearth of heroes and legends nowadays, one quickly comes to mind: Ken Jennings. As a means of benefiting mankind and the natural orders of peace and prosperity, I, your humble Soapboxer have penned my own epic ballad for that king among game show contestants. Cities may perish, newscasters may step down, shows may be cancelled, but no matter what, I can die knowing that the historic five-month journey Jennings made on “Jeopordy” shall live on!! Without further ado, I offer you this. Enjoy, and godspeed!

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