Allergic To Alcohol: TNA Impact on Destination America 01/30/15 – They’re…. Actually Improving?

I can’t believe I’m saying this but…. This week’s show was actually all the way through solid. Even mostly good. The biggest complaints I can make are that a few moments were a tad by-the-book, and that the New York crowd are creepy perverts. And that I’m bothered that the commentary team watches on a monitor in a studio rather in the arena like a normal announce team.

Keeping it short this week, as one of my rats had a litter last night and most of my attention is devoted to taking care of her. So this week I’m just going to do bullet point thoughts.

  • The video they show for next week’s Lethal Lockdown at various points throughout the show keeps replying possibly the second most painful looking cage spot I’ve ever seen after Foley’s two falls in that one Hell in the Cell match, which for me tie. Jeff Hardy falling off the cage back first onto steel steps. That just looked wicked painful.
  • Good promo by Bobby Roode to start, calling out Lashley to give him back his World Title man to man in a show of respect, while challenging to a title rematch, which Lashley accepts. Out comes Austin Aeries to play coy about his Money In The Bank Feast or Fired briefcase, and is entertaining as fuck. Then MVP comes out to stink up the joint by cutting a promo like he’s struggling to properly read cue cards and again whine about his failure to understand how a world championship works by claiming that the Beat Down Clan are the World Champion. Lashley has zero fucks to give and challenges all three of them to a fatal four way tonight.
  • Magnus is walking the streets of NYC headed to a pub to talk out last week’s incident with Bram.
  • Tommy Dreamer shows up to a hero’s welcome and the obligatory E-C-DUB! chant. He calls out Eric Young to tell him to get a grip and not burn bridges with real friends or the fans. Promo ends in a beatdown on Tommy with Roode making the save.
  • A pretty kickass triple threat Knockouts title match goes down between Champ Taryn Terrell, and Gail Kim and Madison Rayne. the crowd reminds us we’re in the ECW section of New York by shitting on a damned good match to let the three women busting their asses know that they would rather enjoy seeing tits. Gotta love New York douchebags.
  • Rockstar Spud and Mandrews playing the clueless British tourists mistaken the Chrysler building for the Washington Monument is actually kinda cute, as Spud informs us he’s challenged ECIII and Tyrus to a tag match with him and Mandrews.
  • Heartfelt chat in what appears to be a grown-up’s answer to Chuck E Cheese ends in a predictable but sickeningly brutal ambush on Magnus by Bram that ends with a ridiculously real looking thwack on Magnus’ head with a cueball that leaves what appears to be visible bruising. It was a brutal looking segment.
  • Kurt Angle convinces Gunnar to join Team Angle by accusing him of having no passion then slapping him. Okay then.
  • Matt and Jeff cut a promo about the Monsters Ball and damned if Jeff doesn’t successfully portray the role of “I’m fired up and I wan to fucking hurt my opponent”. When did Jeff learn to cut believable, passionate promos?
  • Monster’s Ball itself is a half-decent hardcore match, (though I was sure I remembered these matches having a cage wall on at least one side of the ring), that gets a clusterfuck run in from the Diet Wyatts who get in turn chased off by Matt Hardy and the Wolves. Match ends when Jeff powerbombs then Swantons Abyss onto the tacks Abyss brought out. Not epic, but not shitty.
  • Spud and Mandrews are out, but ECIII denies him his tag challenge, instead sending the Bromans out. The upstart Brits of course pull off an upset win then get beaten down by TyrusBrodus, whose new finishing move is kinda fail. ECIII says Spud will never get a match with him but he and Mandrews can have TyBrodus in a cage next week.
  • Spud gives an effective angry promo in the back.
  • Fatal Fourway was mostly fast-paced if by the numbers. Entertaining but nothing stand-out, until Aeries reversed a Lashley spear by catching Lashley’s head mid-spear and flipping over him into a submission. Roode was taken out by EY and MVP was just there. Lashley eventually hit his spear on Aeries and won, then the Beat Down Clan ran in, and beat on everyone til Angle and Gunnar made the save. Roode challenges EY to the cage next week swearing to draw blood, Aeries joins Team Angle for the Lethal Lockdown match, and Lashley basically say “fuck all y’all” to EVERYONE and leaves through the crowd.

I’m not sure why next week’s show isn’t a PPV. Lethal Lockdown seems like it should be. But it looks like it’ll at least be good for a few wince-inducing spots.

See you tomorrow for Penny Candy.

 

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