Metalhead Reviews Tough Enough 2015, episode 5: A show about wrestling? Where?


We start live with the usual babble from the hosts and judges (Jericho, Renée, Paige and Hogan if you need a reminder), and , by his own admission, shameless self-promotion from Daniel Bryan for his “YES” book. Because you were clearly having such a blast doing it, you’re forgiven, Daniel. Big Show is here too teach lessons and slap chests apparently. Hope he doesn’t slap Amanda’s, that won’t end well.

At the barracks, we witness the formation of a new tag team, as Chelsea and Sara Lee are ready to take on the Bikini Models. Patrick quickly reminds everyone who’s the real center of attention by asking how it feels to be in the top three. He must have missed the memo on how the theme of this episode was about humility.

Yoda of the Week is ZZ who tries to get trough to Patrick, who remains oblivious. ZZ did start well here but quickly got sidetracked with his peanut-butter and jelly sandwich metaphor. I’m curious here, do you guys really eat that? Because it sounds kinda strange to my European ears. Then again I’m not one to question anyone’s customs so I’ll quietly go back to my smoked salmon and spiced cheese sandwich.

We find ourselves at a obstacle course and my hopes of watching the Big Show trying to teach anyone a lesson during an obstacle run are quickly dashed when Natalya emerges from a police vehicle. The contestants have to complete the course with some extra competition from some of Clermont’s finest. Other policemen and-woman will enforce the rules. Tanner gets of to a blistering start leaves everyone eating dust behind him. Another very strong performance from our MMA fighter here, who’s back on top after a couple of slow weeks.

The rest does quite well (excepting poor ZZ of course) until they get at the climbing-the-ropes part. After some (understandable) trash talk to Patrick, Tanner shows another side of himself by running back and trying to help get everyone else over that particular obstacle. That earns him some extra points in my book. Georgia and Sara Lee finish first and second for the woman. Mada goes Hulk (always funny) and vanquishes the troublesome ropes, with Josh close behind. After a lot of struggles Patrick follows. Amanda falls flat on her back and Chelsea sprains her ankle, taking them both out of this one. Leaving ZZ who got stuck on one of the first obstacles.

In what would become a theme, they show Patrick in an interview, who, instead of admitting defeat quickly points out how pathetic ZZ was. Oh oh, Patrick is in trouble if he gets nominated.

A quick stop at the live studio, Patrick’s attitude is brought on again, and, is it me or is Big Show looking out of breath by the harrowing effort of just standing there?

Chelsea gets some bad news, she needs to not put any strain on her feet for a month. And why is Tanner there while she’s talking to the doctor?

Chelsea just tells Sara Lee about this, who of course, promptly tells Giorgia and Amanda. ZZ is down after his dismal performance, the other male contestants try to cheer him up, except Patrick, who, while perhaps trying to get some energetic reaction out off ZZ just comes over as an arrogant ass. And back again to the studio and, yes, we get it, Patrick has an attitude. I mean could they have been any more obvious about what is to happen next?

Challenge time, and Billy Gunn asks Chelsea about her foot. Giorgia immediately trows Sara lee under the bus by insisting she told her Chelsea couldn’t do anything for over a month and then shedding some crocodile tears about how emotional she was that a contestant couldn’t defend her chances. Giorgia came across like a total phony here.

Challenge itself was tackles and slams, with losers forcing to do squats while saying whatever the winner(s) wanted. As Sara Lee correctly noted, there is a difference between humility and humiliation. Perhaps someone should tell WWE about that. Mada won this one, Giorgia for the woman.

Back at the barracks and Sara lee puts Giorgia and Amanda in their places. Finally. I guess I should fin another nickname for her, Poor Little mouse doesn’t cut it anymore. Any suggestions? Anyway, the funniest thing about this was the boys watching in the background and Tanner actually eating pop-corn and presenting some to Patrick. Tanner is my number 1 again.

Back live and the Big Show finally gets to do more than standing there as he proposes to slap the male contestants on the chest. Patrick and ZZ don’t seem to enjoy that very much while Tanner, Mada and Josh are having a lot of fun.

Elimination time, and, given the theme of the episode, it is hardly a surprise anymore when Patrick gets called out, alongside ZZ who gets berated for not improving physically and Josh who, according to Hogan, is taking a backseat to Mada.

Patrick gets the lowest amount of votes and is “shockingly” eliminated. Interestingly Josh beats ZZ for first place. Emotional farewell for Patrick and that’s all for this week.

I didn’t have much time to watch Tough Talk, but, in a nutshell, Miz was his usual, entertaining self, Everybody was telling Patrick he had a shot at being a WWE wrestler if he changed his attitude a bit and Paige and the female contestants had some argues again.

Some thoughts:

Patrick’s elimination is of course the talk on social media. I don’t know why everybody was so surprised after watching the episode because WWE was obviously sending him a 40 minute long message. As soon as Patrick was nominated, it was obvious he would get eliminated, people won’t vote en masse for someone that has been depicted as an arrogant ass. I say depicted because, of course, WWE only shows what they want us to see. That being said it does seems obvious a little work on his social skills wouldn’t hurt Patrick either.

Still on social media, Paige is being singled out as the cause of Patrick’s elimination. Apparently her ego got in her way or something. Do I really need to spell it out here? Why where three males nominated? Why wasn’t Amanda, who showed nothing, nominated? It was 5 males and 4 females so it was obvious one male had to go. Furthermore, as hinted above, WWE likes to send public messages about certain attitudes not being tolerated. Which is rather hilarious to anyone knowing a bit about how the WWE really works but that’s not the point here. Today Patrick was the object lesson, it’s as simple as that.

The fact that ZZ is still in the competition also starts to earn some backlash. Sure he’s funny in a totally-out-there way, but it indeed becomes apparent that ZZ has no chance whatsoever of becoming a wrestler. Then again, since when is Tough Enough a show about wrestling? It’s a reality show featuring wrestlers, never forget that. It’s also a way for WWE to promote themselves as one big, happy, family with strong values the contestants get a chance to join. The fact that image doesn’t match reality is irrelevant. Just as wrestling talent is irrelevant. ZZ might never become a wrestler but as long as he is attracting viewers or followers on social media, he’s doing exactly what they want him to do. Then again, the fact that Josh managed to gather more votes than ZZ may spell trouble for Gator Boy.

Tanner was portrayed in a much more sympathetic manner this week. He’s replacing himself in the running, but Mada is still my favorite to win it.

Cute, funny, gentle Giorgia kinda fell off her pedestal for the first time. Her unconvincing attempts at acting were her downfall this week. She needs to look out, Sara Lee’s social media following is growing, while such obviously phony attitudes could hurt Miss Gigi. And yes, most things are phony in reality shows, but it’s  the perception that counts. You can be phony as long as it doesn’t show too much.

In conclusion, let’s be honest here, these shows aren’t very good. All over the place and struggling to make clear what exactly they are about, this won’t go down as the best tough enough in history. Funnily enough, even considering that, something tells me this might become the show with the most contestants finding their way into the WWE, one way or the other. It  just won’t be because of how good they are at wrestling.

My pick for next week is: Amanda. Of course all my prediction have failed until now so you are not obligated to follow me on that one.

See you all next week for more Tough Enough fun!













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