10 Thoughts on Raw 30th May – Cena returns, gets his ass kicked…


1. Following a Memorial Day video package Shane O Mac comes out, followed quickly by Stephanie. As I am already bored with this sibling rivalry nonsense, I fast forward through New Day talking, then back to normal speed for their match with the Vaudvillains. I’ve been a fan of English and Gotch since their NXT days, and it would be great to see them get a title run.

2. We return from the break to the match in progress, and it annoys me more than it should that WWE clearly think we want to watch people talk more than we want to watch actual wrestling. The Vaudvillains are in control for most of a pretty standard match until The Club run in and destroy New Day for the DQ. Okay, I’m satisfied with that…

3. The Big Show is taking Apollo Crews under his wing, and gives him some advice about beating Shamus. I like Big Show in the mentor role. And now it’s time for something I don’t like, as the Golden Truth provide commentary for the Breezango vs Usos match. After an instantly forgettable match Dust and Truth beat down Breeze and Fandango. Meh.

4. Roman is out to say a few words, and before too long Seth Rollins joins him. Seth talks, threatens to rush the ring, then stops. He then does this seven more times.  Annoying and pointless segment with Rollins trying to get himself over as a heel against the will of both the crowd and any viewer with more than half a brain.

5. Lovable loser Zack Ryder is facing Rusev, and he invokes the name of Super-Cena in his pre match interview for good luck. Rusev squashes him in three minutes because the WWE hate Zack Ryder. Titus O’Neill comes out after the match, playing the ‘I’m an American’ card. Naturally, the crowd eat it up. Because what is more American than getting suspended from your job and taking out your frustration on the hardworking foreign guy when you get back?

6. Ignoring the horrible Flair storyline, we move on to the always entertaining Enzo and Cass taking on the Dudley Boys. Enzo flies around the ring like a leather-clad rag doll until Big Cass gets the hot tag and cleans house, hitting the rocket launcher on D-Von for the win. Fun match.

7. Hey, John Cena is back! My 10 year old son will be very excited. I think the next bit isn’t meant for people who live outside America, because it sounded a tiny bit xenophobic and warmongering to my foreign ears. AJ Styles comes out to a solid crowd reaction, and to be honest I’m far more interested in seeing this match than anything involving Roman Reigns. After a while The Club come out, and for some reason the crowd keep doing that Austin ‘what’ thing from 15 years ago. Styles takes out Cena and The Club beat him down, because sometimes bad things happen to good people.

8. Next up it’s Dana Brooke (accompanied by Charlotte) vs Natalya. The match doesn’t really have a chance to find its rhythm before Charlotte interferes and Dana hits a Michinoku driver for the win. Post match Becky Lynch runs in to make the save.

9. Dolph Ziggler takes on Baron Corbin next, and Ziggler immediately kicks Corbin in the balls for the DQ. Best Corbin match ever.

10. Our main event tonight is a six man tag, with Zayn, Cesaro and Ambrose vs Owens, Jericho and Del Rio. Essentially a setup for Money in the Bank, this was a good match that ended with Ambrose hitting the dirty deeds and pinning KO. The MITB lineup is looking great with one exception – While he is still strong on the mic, Jericho is struggling to keep up with the younger guys in the ring.

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