The under siege angle from last week is recapped to start things off. Cole says the arena is under tight security and how SmackDown LAID SEIGE TO RAW. He says the roster paid the “major big big price” and then Stephanie returns. Steph says this isn’t how the show should start – it should start with a celebration and Raw will be celebrating 25 years and that is apparently longer than any TV show in history. Steph talks about Kurt doing a great job – even with Braun being compacted and Jason Jordan being his illegitamateson. He even joined the Shield and earned her respect. She blames Kurt for the attack last week. Steph says that Shane manipulates people and is only doing it to take over HER SHOW. She names him the captain of the Survivor Series team and she expects victory. Alicia faces Bayley next.
Kurt opens Steph’s door to make her life easier and she leaves after berating him. BOY AM I GLAD SHE’S BACK. Miz and the goons come to the show in a limo and Miz says he didn’t miss anything. Kurt says he’s now the team of Team Raw and complains before Kurt tells him to shut up. Kurt tells him he’s going to defend the title tonight and since he’s late, he won’t tell him against who. Great, now he’s a jerk too. Bayley comes down and tries to get fans to slap hands and pat her on the back, but they won’t. Alicia comes down in a captain’s hat and is amazing. She won’t face her tonight – but Nia Jax will.
Bayley dropkicks her to the floor for an ad break. Nia has her in the dreaded POST-BREAK CHINLOCK. Corey hypes this as The Dominant One vs. The Huggable One. Nia gets shoves over the top to the floor and Bayley dives onto her. Bayley stuns her on the rope for 2. Nia bowls through her and legdrops her to win. Poor Bayley is doomed. Alicia announces Nia as the first member of her team before Samoa Joe returns to a huge ovation.
Joe says that it seems some of the fans have missed him and that amuses him because he hasn’t missed any of them and since they didn’t help him, he doesn’t care about any of the fans. He wants a fight and gets Apollo Crews. Cole says that Crews demanded this match, which sure seems impossible given that Joe just now said that he wanted a match and Cole’s backstory took longer than the time that elapsed between the announcement and music hitting. Joe gets 2 off the powerslam. Joe spikes him with the uranage out of the corner and chokes him out with the coquina clutch. Titus comes in mad that Joe tosses his gum at him. Joe waits for Titus to turn his back and chokes him out too.
Cole hypes up the 25th anniversary of Raw and it having both Raw and SmackDown talent there. Boy is that an odd thing to announce DURING AN INVASION ANGLE. Matt Hardy comes down. Thank God Matt is at least trying to get himself over with the delete stuff. Now it’s time for Booker to bury him for the duration of the match. Matt gets a flash cradle for 2. Miz hits a neckbreaker off the top for 2. Miz hits the corner lariat, but Matt counters with one of his own and a bulldog for 2. A moonsault gets 2.5 for Matt, but Miz hits the yes kicks. Twist of Fate hits, but Miz goes to the apron, snaps his neck and retains after the finale.
We get to see Steph’s return and burial of Kurt. Alexa interrupts Kurt while he’s busy texting and he tells her she’ll defend agaisnt Mickie in tonight’s main event. Asuka comes out to face Stacie Quinn and mangles her. This was an absolute blast. Kurt is STILL TEXTING, but looks scared – so maybe he’s looking at porn on company time. He gets a walkie and yells THEY’RE HERE THEY’RE HERE until we see Daniel Bryan casually stroll in. Okay, this was hilarious.
Bryan tells him that he’s not here to attack and Kurt says he got his ass chewed out tonight – Bryan says he’s sorry for everything. He doesn’t agree with Shane and he was blindsided by everything too. We get a great hype video for Brock vs. Jinder showing a slew of history-making WWE Champions…and also Jinder. Bryan is in his room and the lights go out, so Bryan lights it with his phone. We come back and see Kane choke him and them chokeslam him in pure darkness.
Balor comes down to wrestle Cesaro. Cesaro goes after him with punches early, but eats an apron PK and sells the mouth big-time. The very European uppercut gets 2.5. A giant superplex gets 2 for Cesaro as well. Finn hits the shotgun dropkick and goes up top, but Sheamus prevents the footstomp. Finn dives on the Bar and hits the double stomp to a hunched-over Cesaro to win. Kane comes down to destroy Balor and does so quickly. Seth and Dean come down from the crowd having seen just about enough of this.
Kane tosses Seth around a bit. Seth hits a sloppy suicide dive onto Kane before hitting a springboard clothesline mid-ring. The Bar brawls with the Shield and we get a bigger brawl with everyone. Tombstone to Dean! Another one to Seth! Daniel Bryan is strapped to a backboard – now if he would start humming “Taps”, this would be amazing. Miz and his goons go backstage, but their locker room has a GARBAGE BACK WITH GARBAGE IN IT. Miz deduces that it HAS TO BE BRAUN. I’m hoping for Duke Droese, personally.
Goofs set up wacky props for the trick or street fight with The Club against Heath and Rhyno. Kane exposits a lot with Miz. Kane and Miz having a ’60s Batman segment is amusing. Kane tells Miz he’s on his own here. Booker T is paid legal tender to say “Braun is Braun”. A long recap airs of Braun being crushed or whatever. CHADD 2 BADD AND TEX FERGUSON face Santa and Mrs. Claus. Heeath goes bobbing for apples, but the heels get a double noggin knocker with pumpkins on their heads. Pumpkin guts to Slater. Rhyno flashes Tex and pies him. Booker randomly talks about baseball for a while. They botch the finish of a pumpkin headbutt into a spinebuster through a table and it mercifully ends.
Miz meets with The Bar to be terrified with them too. They tell him he’s on his own and Elias sings mid-ring. He sings and we see him destroy Jordan with a guitar from last week. Jordan comes down with his bruised arm and Corey puts over how he’s looking for a fight. They brawl and Elias leaves. Jordan threatens to destroy the guitar and does just that. Miz and the goons walk backstage and say they’re going to leave before Kurt guilt trips Miz into staying.
Enzo comes out to a nice pop and he meets with Drew Gulak, who gives him a nice fist bump. Drew puts himself and Enzo over while the crowd chants “how you doin!”. Drew spells out S-O-F-T, much to the dismay of Enzo and then Kalisto comes down to the apathy of the viewer. Kalisto hits spinning things to Gulak and then hitting the rana driver and the SDS to win. Enzo jumps him and hits Eat Defeat – so then why bother even having Drew lose?
Miz and the goons are nervous backstage. Alexa comes out in her Bad Girl gear before Mickie is out as a gangster. A long tie-up starts things off and Mickie gets 2 off a snapmare and sliding kick. Alexa takes her down with a big lariat. An “Adam Cole BAYBAY!” and “CM Punk” chant start up. Mickie gets 2 off the flying Thesz press, but Alexa KOs her with a punch and wins it. The Miz and the goons leave in a limo, which is then destroyed by a trash truck. Braun destroys the goons and tosses them around ringside before squashing Miz mid-ring. Axel eats a powerslam after saving Miz from one and gets a “one more time” chant. Braun gives them one! A THIRD POWERSLAM. Babyface Braun is great! FOUR! This is incredible. FIVE POWERSLAMS! I hope Mundo trademarked Slam Town, because if he hasn’t, WWE is so stealing that for Braun. Braun carries him around and powerslams him through the announce table. This ruled!
