Pulse Wrestling Answers #012

Welcome back.

I’m in a bad mood.

You have been warned.

Now, questions?

And answers:

First out of the hat:

”Wilford Brimley here. I just wanted to first let you know that I’m a true rasslin’ fan. Back in my day, rasslin’ wasn’t this crap with fat men wearing polka dots, it was the real thing. People would come from all around the town and sit there and watch rasslin’, nothing else drew a bigger crowd except when they hung them damn cattle rustlers.

I used to rassle for a while, did you know that? It’s true, one time I fought “One Eye, Two Teeth” Tom McGee in a rasslin match. I won two hundred pesos and a ticket to a Donkey Show. I’m still not shore what a Donkey Show was, since I was locked in an outhouse as punishment for “getting a big head” about my push and being so over with the 12 fans who attended the show.

1. What happened to my good buddy “Strangler” Ed Lewis? He and I use to pick up women at the whorehouse and then when we were done, we’d pay them with Confederate money! Haw haw haw, them was the days.

2. Who is this Samoa Joe fella that people keep talkin’ about? I saw a picture of him once, and he looks like one of them boys you can get to come push your Model T out of a ditch if you buy them a burger.

3. Back in my day, Orville Brown was one of the best wrestlers alive. Who compares to him today?

4. Billy Graham was a wrestler? How was he able to take all of those hard moves and still preach on Sundays?

That’s all the questions I have for this week, whippersnapper. Now cut your hair and get a real job, HIPPIE!

Your buddy,
Wilford Brimley
http://360.yahoo.com/wilford/”

I should charge extra for website plugs. And for tolerating e-gimmicks.

1. Your good buddy died in 1966.

2. He’s the next NWA World Champion.

3. Chris Benoit.

4. Because sometimes people have the same name as other people?

Also, I have cut my hair. Furthermore, I have a real-as-real-can-be job.

Next…

Wild Rover stays sane:

“Alright Burnside, my question regards ‘The Irish Curse’ Seamus O’Shaunessey. I remember shortly before Raw and Smackdown last came to Britain, I stumbled across The Irish Curse’s website to hear him proudly declaring he had been signed up by the WWE and was going to be appearing on Raw in Engalnd. I was suitably impressed and looked forward to seeing his debut, however, when the big day came, Seamus was merely hired to play a WWE security guard to run in as part of a ‘security team’ and attempt to apprehend DX. Needless to say, he got kicked, whammed and Pedigree’d for his troubles. It was inevitable when you think about it.

Anyway, despite this minor blip in his career in the ‘big-time’, I was wondering if that foot in the door has promised any bigger opportunities on the horizon for him, and could we see him on American television competing with the big names anytime soon?

Also, I’ve just watched an RF Video Shoot interview with Tazz, in which he absolutely slams Erin O Grady (Crash Holly), and it got me wondering whether they ended up meeting in the WWF. Im fairly sure they did, so could you give a brief on their feuds if they had any, and information on any heat involved.”

You can find Seamus O’Shaunessey’s official site here. He looks like the bastard offspring of Lash LeRoux and Finlay. It seems he’s currently shooting a role for the upcoming movie The Escapist, starring Joseph Fiennes and Brian Cox. From the sounds of things his part is more than Nathan Jones in Troy but less than Triple H in Blade: Trinity. Haven’t heard anything about WWE bringing him in for a developmental deal, but he did get a mention in Jim Ross’ blog at the start of the year, so if he continues to deliver the goods on the indie circuit then he might well be brought in. Probably as Little Bastard’s gay partner or something.

As for Tazz, he had got Erin O’Grady (real name actually Mike Lockwood, but I’ll just call him Crash from now on anyway) an ECW deal in 1997 after seeing a tape of him in All-Pro Wrestling. They clashed a few times backstage, particularly after one incident when Crash went out drinking the night before a PPV and passed out in the ring truck. Tazz had told the ring crew (mainly the jobbers and newbies) that they weren’t going to set the ring up till the Sunday, so they went out partying, but Paul Heyman later decided to set it up on the Saturday instead. By then it was too late and for one reason or another, such as being asleep on the ring, Crash took the heat for it rather than Tazz, who was of course ECW’s pet project back then. There was also a more general conflict between the tight-knit ECW locker room leaders and Crash, who they viewed as a rookie while he considered himself a veteran in his own right (he had been wrestling for around eight years by then). There was also the Hardcore Battle Royal at WrestleMania XVI, where Crash screwed up the ending by kicking out at the very end before the time limit expired. Tazz was involved in the finish to that match as well and no doubt he was particularly pissed about it.

So, yeah, let’s just blame ECW. That’s always fun. Did you know that ECW killed Elvis?

Next…

Geoff Evans:

”I remember when Shotgun Saturday Night debuted, it was held in a bar, and Marlena exposed her jubblies to Rikishi. Great. I was reading up on the history of the show, however, and Wikipedia states that a later episode was held at New York’s Penn Station. What were the circumstances of having a wrestling show in a train station?”

She wasn’t really exposed:

At least not as much as she was here:

But, anyway, the circumstances behind hosting the show in Penn Station were simply the circumstances behind the show itself. The original concept was to test the waters of the underground vibe ECW had tapped into by taping it in various locations throughout New York City. Usually this meant bars or clubs but on a particularly experimental week they tried a train station instead. I believe Triple H was Tombstoned by The Undertaker on an escalator, then his body drifted down the stairs. Then they started running low on funds after turning Raw into a live two-hour show and turned Shotgun into a regular jobber taping instead. Ho-hum. Now that they actually have money it would have been a perfect way to distinguish ECW but I guess that ship has sailed.

ECW killed Shotgun Saturday Night!! Bastards!!

Here’s a sample from the 11th January 1997 show:

If only they had kept Sunny as a colour commentator, things might have gone differently for her.

Next…

Mike Long has fond memories:

”Though I’d give you a kinda fun one. If you actually
watch the subpar ECW, a few weeks back, Striker was
commentating and talking about how he was smarter than
everyone in the Rumble and will win it, problem was,he
wasn’t in the Rumble! He was advertised to be in it
and he wasn’t. I remember another sort of happening
like this in 03. Jericho was feuding w/Test after the
Rumble, and it was scheduled, yes even a No Way Out
graphic was shown, of a match betwen them. Then w/no
reason given, Jericho/Hardy (not that I’m complaining)
was all of a sudden shown. I was just wondering why
these sorts of things happened(did they piss of Vince
or were just decided they weren’t good enough) and
when any other of these kind of happenings occurred”

In most cases advertised matches not happening are down to somebody getting injured, no-showing the event, falling out with the promoters over money, or the whole thing being planned in advance as an elaborate booking ploy. In WWE’s case it’s more often than not just down to Vince getting himself wound up again and tinkering with what doesn’t need to be tinkered. The most recent example is No Way Out, which went from having London/Kendrick vs. Deuce/Domino announced, to London/Kendrick vs. Regal/Taylor vs. MNM vs. The Hardys because it would be a better match, reverted to London/Kendrick vs. Deuce/Domino because Vince didn’t want to have MNM or the Hardys team up again, to also having Benoit/Hardys vs. MVP/MNM just for the hell of it (and to excite Dwayne quite a bit).

There are another couple of noteable examples involving Chris Jericho. He had been due to defend the Undisputed Title against RVD at Royal Rumble 2002, except their feud was scrapped about a week-and-a-half before the event and Jericho defended against The Rock instead. Some of the irritating types seen it as a conspiracy against Van Dam but it was actually initiated by The Rock, a good friend of Jericho’s in real life, who felt Jericho needed an extra boost to be taken seriously as champion. He sure did. At least the resulting match was pretty damn good. Also, when Jericho first debuted in the WWF in this memorable bit:

Jericho was actually meant to be talking with Road Dogg, who would have been in the ring with Kid Rock for some reason. When Kid Rock cancelled, Vince felt that Road Dogg wasn’t a big enough star to carry the segment with a newcomer and put Rocky out there instead. So, sometimes Vince can make things better with his meddling. At other times he does things like pulling Sabu out of the Elimination Chamber without even explaining it in kayfabe, just to piss off the old ECW fans by adding Bob Holly instead.

Next…

Matt Reed takes a terrifying trip down memory lane:

” With the poll going on at the forums, I gotta ask:What do you think was the worst Wrestlemania match of all time?

Having only seen one Wrestlemania in its entirety (14, if memory serves.
If it doesn’t, it was the one with HBK vs. Steve Austin.), I can’t be any
help in this category.”

If you haven’t seen it already, here is the poll. I believe we’re going to be turning it into a fully-fledged feature in the coming month.

WrestleMania XIV certainly wasn’t a good show, just a good snapshot of the way the wrestling industry revived itself at the time.

Sticking to actual matches and not things you would expect to be atrocious anyway (boxing, sumo, pillowfights, etc.), things that were just subpar and things that were average for the time then the following would have to be considered:

Leilani Kai vs. Wendi Richter (WMI) – considering the level of publicity that went into it courtesy of Cyndi Lauper and the MTV connection, the match was truly horrid…

Hulk Hogan vs. Andre The Giant (WMIV) – poor Andre was beyond broken by 1988…

Bobby Heenan vs. Terry Taylor (WMV) – why would they even book it in the first place??

Randy Savage & Sensational Sherri vs. Dusty Rhodes & Sapphire (WMVI) – a match with Savage and Dusty in 1990 should have been hard to tank, but they managed it rather easily…

Jake Roberts vs. Rick Martel (WMVII) – the legendary Blindfold Match, which Russo no doubt loved…

Crush vs. Doink (WMIX) – you really do need a blindfold to view this, and not just because of the shoddy quality of wrestling on display…

The Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez (WMIX) – it was a really bad show…

Yokozuna vs. Hulk Hogan (WMIX) – a really bad show…

Rocky Maivia vs. The Sultan (WMXIII) – although it redeemed itself in a way by prompting the Rocky heel turn, which gave us The Scorpion King… but then it also gave us Doom… hmm…

The Undertaker vs. Big Bossman (WMXV) – not the worst thing Bossman would ever do with Hell in the Cell, sadly…

The Boogeyman vs. Booker T & Sharmell (WMXXII) – perplexing…

The above represent the worst-of-the-worst in my view. Even though it wasn’t really a match I would still have to pick Yokozuna/Hogan as the worst one simply for all that it represented. It pissed me off so much when it happened that I gave up watching altogether and only came back after seeing a cover of WWF Magazine in an airport with Bret Hart on the cover, holding up the title belt at WrestleMania X. True story.

Next…

NeonExile goes straightforward:

”Is it just me, or was there more psychology in that WOW clip than I’ve seen in a WWE ring in almost a decade?

And yes, that’s a legitimate question I expect you to answer, Burnside.”

Unless nobody has seen any WWE matches in almost a decade, then it’s just you.

For further information please consult Benoit/Finlay, Jericho/Michaels, Austin/Hart, Foley/Helmsley and Angle/Lesnar, among others.

Next…

Chas has the Chas time:

“what exactly do you mean when you say “phase out” does that mean cut them back until they’re eventually off the roster or just de-push them to the point where they’re only fighting each other…cause 2 of the names are champions, and to get the titles off of them so quickly because of TNA would suck major…damn…well thanks for your time…”

This is regarding the story about TNA pulling their talent from ROH shows. Well, they’re pulling Joe at least, since he’s due for a title reign (right, Wilford?) but ROH has rather wisely decided to stop putting so much focus on other TNA contracted wrestlers in the future anyway. This means that guys like Christopher Daniels and Homicide will wrap up their current commitments and then only be used in the future as ‘special attractions’. TNA doesn’t want their talent appearing on TV doing one thing, then at ROH shows doing something else (such the Homicide/Cornette storyline and the lacklustre title reign that followed), which is understandable but a little odd considering ROH has not TV deal and anybody that watches ROH certainly won’t be confused by the differences. Meanwhile, ROH doesn’t want to feel obligated to TNA so that they have to tailor their shows around another promotion’s wishes, which is again understandable. Still, ROH have plenty of talent and always seem to find more of it, so this certainly won’t harm their product any. It just means the number of five-star matches in Joe’s future are going to be severely limited…

Next…

That’s all for this week, but keep ’em coming in.

So, what else is there to read around here at the moment?

There’s probably a No Way Out Roundtable up by now… maybe… I know I half-arsed it so the tardyness is understandable.

Scott Keith tackles the intricate details of FUJI VICE.

Pulse Glazer celebrates 5 years of ROH.

Kurt Angle does an interview without going mental.

Brock Lesnar might be punching people in Las Vegas.

The greatest love triangles in WWE history?

The 2007 WWE toy figures?

Now I must go kill a pineapple.

AIM: KingKongBurnside