Pulse Wrestling’s Real-Time WWE SmackDown Report – 03.20.2009 (500th Episode)

We open up tonight’s show with recap from what happened Monday between Triple H and Legacy.


We’re live from my house in the middle of nowhere as Triple H makes his way to the ring for our opening match!  Before we get Vladimir’s entrance, Triple H discusses his real-life marriage to Stephanie McMahon.  He says that everyone already knew, but Randy Orton should had known better.  He let the attacks on Vince and Shane slide, but Randy played the card and RKO’ed Stephanie.  Trips isn’t buying Orton’s medicial condition and explains that I.E.D. is actually cowardice.  Orton can run all he wants, but at WrestleMania 25, there will be nowhere to hide.  He tells Randy that he better pray to God.  Randy is the disease and Trips is the cure.  Cue the angry Russian!

Triple H v. Vladimir Koslov

The bell sounds and they lock up.  Koslov gets the early advantage, but Trips plays the head games and lets Koslov take himself out.  Back inside, Trips clotheslines Koslov outside the ring.  Commercial time!


We’re back and Trips has Koslov in the Figure Four!  Koslov comes back with a battering ram and he follows with a Belly to Belly Suplex!  He corners Trips and he hits the body shots on the WWE Champion.  Fallaway slam connects and Koslov gets two count.  Bearhug locked in from the guard position, which makes the move that much more painful.  Trips uses his strength to BREAK THE GRIP!  However, Koslov sends Trips to the ropes.  Trips comes back with the knee smash.  Koslov to the corner and Trips nails the rights.  Neckbreaker connects and that gets two for Trips.  Corner to corner we go and Koslov hits the ring post.  Pedigree attempt, but Koslov backdrops Trips instead.  Koslov charges and he eats the main event SPINEBUSTER!  Pedigree attempt connects and Koslov goes down to the King of Kings.

Winner: Triple H
Grade: B-

We go back to RAW where Vickie Guerrero is caught in a huge love triangle.  This leads us to John Cena being used as target practice by Edge and Big Show.  Edge takes out Big Show and he stands tall.


We recap the “Battle of the Billionaires”.

After that, both MVP and Shelton Benjamin are in the ring for a U.S. Title match!

MVP v. Shelton Benjamin ©
United States Championship

The bell sounds and they lock up.  Benjamin gets MVP to the corner and he unleashes hell on him.  Benjamin hits a flapjack on the turnbuckle before he hangs MVP out to dry on the ropes.  Cover gets a one count.  Benjamin works an octopus stretch, but MVP COUNTERS TO A HIP TOSS!  MVP off the ropes and Benjamin is ready with a whip kick to the stomach.  Benjamin goes for the Stinger Splash, but MVP ducks.  Overhead throw by MVP gets a two count.  MVP tees off on Benjamin, who is reeling.  Powerslam off the ropes and MVP scores the Yakuza kick for TWO!  Modified jaw breaker by MVP and he goes Ballin’ on Benjamin for two!  Benjamin misses a roundhouse kick, but Benjamin counters a suplex into a neckbreaker for TWO!  MVP gets couple rollups for two. Benjamin hits a backbreaker and he follows with the Exploder Suplex…TWO ONLY!  Benjamin looks for Paydirt, but MVP hangs Benjamin on the ropes.  The Playmaker connects and we have a new champion!

Winner and NEW United States Champion: MVP
Grade: B-

12 Rounds preview.

Shawn Michaels takes on Kane…NEXT!


Vickie Guerrero jumps on Edge for Monday and Edge defends himself.  The love triangle continues.

Shawn Michaels v. Kane

But first…commercials!


We’re back and Kane makes his demonic entrance.  Shawn doesn’t look intimidated.  The bell sounds and they circle the ring.  Shawn fires away with chops.  He evades a back drop, but he can’t miss the clothesline.  Kane drops the elbow, but hits canvas.  Shawn beats on Kane in the corner…and he EATS UPPERCUT!  Kane takes control in another corner.  Kane chokes away before backing away.  Shawn kicks away in the corner, but Kane has other plans.  Shawn hits Kane with chops and punches, but Kane sends Shawn to the corner, overselling as usual.  Shawn falls out of the ring as we take a break.


We’re back as Kane scores a near fall on Shawn.  Kane sends Shawn to the corner and he continues to dissect him.  Kane works the arm and he is reeling.  Shawn gets up to a vertical base and Shawn punchess away.  Shawn sends Kane to the ropes and he eats a boot.  Kane hits a dropkick for two!  He goes back to the arm, but Shawn gets back up.  Kane keeps the hold on the arm as he sends Shawn down.  Shawn gets out of it, but he can’t get any offense.  Kane sends Shawn to the corner and that is the opening that Shawn needed.  Chops away and Kane sends Michaels to the ropes.  NECKBREAKER BY SHAWN TO KANE!  More chops and whip reversal.  Shawn hits a flying lariat and he kips up!  Jawbreaker is blocked with a chokeslam attempt.  That is countered to a jawbreaker!  Clothesline connects and he goes to the top!  He drops the elbow, but Kane lifts his knee up and Shawn is in trouble.  Kane goes back up and as Shawn gets up…CLOTHESLINE CONNECTS!  Kane sets for the Chokeslam…waiting for Shawn to get up.  Shawn gets up and Kane closes in….SWEET CHIN MUSIC FROM OUT OF NOWHERE!  Shawn gets the pin!

Winner: Shawn Michaels
Grade: B

Big Show is with Vickie as she pleads with him to not go overboard.


We’re back and it has just been announced that Matt v. Jeff Hardy is now going to be EXTREME RULES!

OH GOD! JEFF IS FROTHING FROM THE MOUTH!  He makes his way to the ring for a teaser for the Extreme Rules match at WrestleMania 25.

Jeff Hardy v. THE Brian Kendrick
Extreme Rules

The bell sounds and out goes Ezekiel Jackson!  Hardy takes ot to Kendrick and Ezeikel as he does a plancha out of the ring.  Ezekiel takes and he sends Hardy HARD to the outside retaining wall.  Hardy finds a chair and he beats the holy hell out of Ezekiel.  Kendrick runs away and he goes in the ring.  Kendrick takes it to Hardy, disarming him.  He sends Hardy to the turnbuckle before he gets rid of the chair.  Hardy evades a charge and he brings a chair back inside.  HE THROWS THE CHAIR SABU STYLE AT KENDRICK!  He hits Poetry in Motion, using the chair as a partner.  Hardy beats Kendrick senseless onto the chair.  Oh my God, Jeff hits that move I can’t describe!  Powerbomb setup into a flapjack facebuster, that’s close enough.  Hardy sets the chair up again and he hits the Twist of Fate onto the chair!  He drags Kendrick’s body into position and he hits the Swanton Bomb.  That gets the duke.

Winner: Jeff Hardy
Grade: D (Pretty much a squash)

We get footage of the Triple H/Stephanie McMahon wedding spliced into the Orton/Trips feud.  This hypes up WrestleMania 25, only on Pay-Per-View!


It is time to induct another wrestler, or should I say wrestlers to the Hall of Fame.  The Von Erich Family are your latest inductees to the WWE Hall of Fame.  Michael Hayes will induct them to the Hall!

Another 12 Rounds Preview is shown.

The lights go out and that can mean only one thing.  The Undertaker is about to come out to face John Bradshaw Layfield…NEXT!


WWE Smack of the Night: Shawn Michaels STEALS the show!

Undertaker is in the ring and he reminds us that Shawn is the prey and he is the hunter.  When he least expects it, he will feel the Undertaker’s wrath.

The Undertaker v. John Bradshaw Layfield
Non-Title Match

Before we get to the match, it has just been announced that JBL has accepted Rey Mysterio’s challenge to an Intercontinental Championship match at WrestleMania 25!

JBL stands up to Taker and the bell sounds.  The champion goes down and Taker beats the holy hell out of JBL in the corner. To another corner we go and JBL comes back with the rights.  The referee tries to restrain JBL and that is what Taker needed to turn the tables on JBL.  Taker goes to work on the arm a bit before we go OLD SCHOOL, but JBL nails Taker in the ribs to stop it.  Taker sends JBL to the ropes and has a boot ready for him.  That gets two as we go to break.


We are back as Taker drops the leg on JBL.  He sends JBL to the barricade before getting into the ring to break the count.  Big Boot attempt cause Taker to get hanged up on the retaining wall!  JBL capitalizes on this mishap before sending Taker back in the ring.  JBL drops the elbow onto the leg and he locks on a bodyscissors , but Taker is in a sitting position, helping him to break the hold.  Chop block connects and Taker is in trouble.  JBL uses the ropes to continue the pressure on the leg before he locks on a Figure Four!  He gets a two count and Taker shows the evil eyes and he GOOZLES JBL!  JBL ducks a Taker clothesline and he sweeps the leg for a two count!  The “Wall Street Wizard”, quoted J.R. looks to close in on beating Undertaker.  Pillar to post we go and Taker gets the momentum with Snake Eyes, followed by the big boot.  Leg drop connects and can only get two!  Undertaker sets up and he goes for the Chokeslam, but JBL kicks the leg and follows up with the CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL!  Taker KICKS OUT!  DEVIL’S GATE IS LOCKED IN!  JBL TAPS!

Winner: The Undertaker
Grade: B+ (Match of the night so far, surprisingly)

Edge and Big Show are making their way to the ring…NEXT!


We are back and the Big Show makes his way out to the ring and J.R. gives out his measurements!  He asks Edge to quit being a coward and come out here like a man.  Edge is happy to oblige.  Edge fakes getting in the ring at first before getting a microphone.  He gets in the ring and they verbally abuse each other.  This is stopped by Vickie Guerrero, who pleads for both men to stop fighting.  We are all in a difficult mess, but Vickie is love with both men.  Edge calls this ridiculous and they continue to abuse each other verbally.  Vickie says that this will be settled at WrestleMania 25.  The winner of the title match will be the “champion of her heart”.  She wants a truce.  The two men shake on it with evil intentions before the third man in this triple threat makes his way out to the ring!  Cena is quick to talk, though.  They seemingly forgot about John Cena and when he wins, he wants nothing to do with Vickie’s heart, head, or handles.  He hypes the 500th episode of SmackDown and what we have is practically a gentlemen’s agreement.  He calls out Edge for the unmentionables that Big Show and Vickie have done and his willingness to let it go.  He then plays mind games to the Big Show, who helped Edge and paid for it.  He says that not only will these two fight to share in Vickie’s infection…affection…no infection!  Edge says that Cena doesn’t know anything and he talks about Vickie passing gas in bed.  Now we’re talking fat jokes.  Big Show asks Vickie to tell Edge to watch his mouth or he won’t make it to WrestleMania.  Edge piefaces Show and he gets choked…Big Show shoves Vickie away, who falls to the canvas.  Seeing this, he shoves Edge away to tend to Vickie.  Edge goes to spear Big Show, but gets Vickie instead.  Big Show and Edge fights to see who takes Vickie out of the ring.  So, Edge chop blocks Show and Vickie takes a hard fall.  Show Chokeslams Edge and he carries Vickie to the back.

Show over.

The WWE SmackDown Report Card

The Undertaker d. JBL: B+
Jeff Hardy d. THE Brian Kendrick: D
Shawn Michaels d. Kane: B
MVP d. Shelton Benjamin (NEW U.S. Champion): B-
Triple H d. Vladimir Koslov: B-

The Final Grade for WWE SmackDown 3.20.2009: C+/B-

Norine missed a decent SmackDown tonight as the 500th episode focused more on the wrestling than RAW did this week.  This week in wrestling ends on a high note.  Have a great weekend!

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