Hotties ‘n’ Notties: Lacey Von Erich, Matt Hardy & More

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Who was hot and who was not this week in wrestling?

However, this isn’t your usual “who did good and who did bad” style column. No, this is the literal look at who actually looked sexy this week and who, well, didn’t.

Straight in at Number One – the hottest person of the week goes to Lacey Von Erich.

Oh, isn’t she just amazingly beautiful. Now I’m not no lesbian but even I got a slight twinge when she started to perform her strip tease on TNA. Lacey is literally an angel sent down from heaven – albeit perhaps a naughty angel but she is heaven on earth. With her perfect hair, beyond perfect body and her hot little lacey lingerie and stocking get-up she is truly a knockout.

My second placed hotties of the week go to The Hart Dynasty.

Oh Natalya, David and Tyson you have all stolen my heart what with your hotness this week. The third generational dynamic diva is almost perfect in every single way (IMO her breasts are scarily big for her petite body) But Miss. Neidhart you are worth a million bucks and with your amazing attire you truly are the top diva in WWE. With David, it scares me how much he looks like his dad – The British Bulldog – but of course a lot taller version. It’s always a plus in my books when generational wrestlers look like their fathers (take note, Cody Rhodes.) And Tyson, aw well your just a little cutie pie.

The inbetweener award this week goes to CM Punk.

Oh My God, I thought I would never see the day when I thought CM Punk would look a bit well ugly. But unfortunately here is that dreaded day. When Punk first started growing out this crazy beard I thought “mmm I see where you’re going and it looks good” but now this monstrosity of a thing on his face just looks disgusting and it needs a good conditioning. Also perhaps use a bit of concealer on those eye-bags, it works a treat. Also Punk one more thing, you claim you don’t put chemicals in your hair – which describes that grease bomb – but you used to have bleach blonde hair, so stop lying. But I still love you and hopefully you will turn back sexy asap.

The first nottie (not hot) of the week goes to Fat Hardy sorry I mean Matt Hardy.

Oh, Matthew Moore Hardy where did it all go wrong? (don’t blame your intestine blowing up!) The caption for this picture was ‘McIntyre goes for Hardy’s mid section – well it’s not easy to miss that big bloated belly is it?! You used to be such a good looking young lad, but now you’ve just simply let yourself go. Also the transformation from tights back to your god awful pants has just made you look even worse. Get back in shape, go back to your tights and t-shirt combo and perhaps, one day you may appear in the upper half of the hottie or nottie list.

In last place as the most not hot person of the week goes too… Orlando Jordan.

Oh My ‘effin God, what the hell is this? The whole scene on TNA actually corrupted my mind. Who thought this whole bisexual gimmick would be a good idea?! (I’m pointing at you Vince Russo.) Anyway, this porno version of Booker T is just hell in a picture. The white substance which represents -well as a good little catholic girl I shan’t say-is just plain horrific and shouldn’t those lycra chaps belong on one of the beautiful people, not a 38-year-old man. Perhaps he should take a leaf out of his initials namesake OJ and be sent to jail for crimes against fashion.

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