Les Grossman and Jack Bauer have two things in common: They do not negotiate with terrorists. But while Jack Bauer is MIA until Hollywood decides to make a movie about him, Les has gone from movies to invade TV sets so he can belittle Robert Pattinson and some actor named Tom Cruise circa 1982.
Those who saw Tropic Thunder in 2008 no doubt walked away with a different perception of that crazy couch-jumping actor, Tom Cruise. As the foul-mouthed studio executive, Les Grossman, Cruise transformed himself into a stout, balding man who needed Diet Cokes to relax after angry tirades. Now he returns as the screaming executive in a pair of MTV Movie Awards promos.
The first one involves him and Twilight star Robert Pattinson. While he doesn’t threaten to detach Edward’s manhood and jam it somewhere very uncomfortable, he does layout what not to do when it comes to the scruffy mane on his head.
If that wasn’t enough Les for you, how about his stint on the set of Risky Business in 1982. The producer, irate when Tom Cruise slides into the frame wearing pants, interrupts a take to show what teenagers want to see on screen.
Now I haven’t watched the MTV Movie Awards in I don’t know how long, because I really don’t care about who wins Best Kiss or Best Fight. It’s like watching the Oscars if the Oscars were voted on by high school students whose knowledge of world cinema extends to the gals of Sex and the City visiting Abu Dhabi. Still, the parody segments are some of the most memorable attractions. To this day I can remember the year Pulp Fiction came out the show had a sequence that reenacted the scene where Marvin gets shot in the backseat of the car. Instead of Samuel L. Jackson and John Travolta, it featured the cast of Welcome Back, Kotter. And of course there’s the “What’s in the Box?” scene from Seven where all the characters are played by William Shatner. These promos are good, but I’m still going to skip the awards. For those who care, it airs on June 6th.
Now before you click away, Les Grossman implores you to check out this last clip featuring MTV Movie Awards host Aziz Ansari, the star of The Hurt Locker and a certain teen heartthrob pop idol that I refuse to name. If you don’t watch this clip, Les could very well mail you a hobo’s dick cheese.
