Kue’s Korner: How to Streak, Undertaker style

Columns, Top Story

If you feel me, stand up and say “What’s Up”. And what’s up is Kue’s Korner, the lovely little grappling column hosted by yours truly, Jonah Kue. Since this is a bit of an occasion (my 10th article on Kue’s Korner), your favorite delicate-on-words columnist is going to tackle a subject based on his favorite wrestler. Of course, I’m speaking of the Deadman, the Undertaker. Yeah, yeah, I know, not the smarkest of picks. But ever since I saw Undertaker best Hulkamania to win his first championship, I was hooked on wrestling for life. Sure, he’s had his pretty rancid feuds (mostly involving other giants who just had a problem moving), but the Phenom has a career full of incredible matches and a legacy that’s sure to stand the test of time in the squared circle. He’ll forever be known as one of the greatest in-ring competitors. So, with all this said, I’m here to tackle a familiar territory involving Mr. Callaway. But first, with the whoring:

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As the anticipation for Wrestlemania builds and the seconds are counting down, we fans are hearing a familiar bell tolling in the distance. Whether it be in the leather coat and old gunslinger hat combo, the sleeveless hood, or the ever so eclectic shoulder pad armor reminiscent of his Lord of Darkness days, the return of the Undertaker is imminent (as seen through the Abe Lincoln log cabin promos). Yet, his impact on this Wrestlemania is unknown. Speculation aside, no one really has a set-in-stone pick for this year’s notch in the Phenom’s belt. Let’s delve a bit into said speculation, shall we?

Wade Barrett – It would make all the sense in the world from a storyline standpoint. We had Barrett’s Nexus bury ‘Taker alive the last time we saw him. Vengeance is always the easiest “go to” for a feud like this. Why not have the Corre try to take down the legendary streak? It would certainly give Barrett something productive to do, not to mention what a close match with the Phenom could do for his credibility (similar to what it did for Orton).

Thing is, I can’t see ‘Taker having a great match with Barrett (though, I could be wrong. Hell, we were all a bit shocked at the chemistry Batista had with the Phenom). And if a great match isn’t presented, then the inevitable non-breaking of the Streak would prove more to bury Barrett than help elevate him. This is where the issue of letting an up-and-comer try to take on a current day ‘Taker at Wrestlemania has its disadvantages.

Sting – Oh, rumor mill. You’ve given us quite the scandal, haven’t you? Yes, the ‘E naysayer, the elusive Sting, who’s WWE debut has been speculated on for the past few weeks on the ‘net, is also said to be in talks to face the Deadman. Dream match? From a simple standpoint of the legacy of these two, of course. It’d be something to talk about for the next coming weeks for sure. And hell, the hype alone would generate incredible buyrates.

But besides the hype, what would the match really be like? Call this boy skeptical, but it just seems to be screaming “letdown”. I just can’t see these two, at these point in their careers, living up to that hype they would build so intensely. It’s like having a match between Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels now. And I doubt we’d want to waste 30 minutes on a mediocre match built up so well.

David Otunga – Just kidding.

Triple H – This would be the ideal pick. First off, it would keep both of these two veterans out of the title picture, which so desperately needs the fresh faces it’s currently carrying. Second, the Streak is something that has been unbreakable for so long (and will continue to be, don’t kid yourselves) that the level of believability that someone will actually break it is almost nonexistent. The only person who could come close to making the fans think “maybe” is our Thor-esque Senior Creative Advisor, Trips.

This is as simply put together as Shawn and ‘Taker was: one guy who has achieved everything there is to achieve in the business, except for that glory of adding that “1” right next to that hyphen and that intimidating “18”, is vying for that last golden chalice. The back and forth between the two won’t come close to rivaling that of the Phenom and the Showstopper, but it’s the closest you can get to it. Besides, these two have been in the ring before and they haven’t necessarily had disasters of matches. Simply put, it makes the most sense.

So, there it is, my friends. My picks for Big Evil’s opponent for ‘Mania 27, leading up to his inevitable 20-0 career endgame over Cena next year (call me now for your free reading). Thoughts? Disagreements? Random Banter? Comment on, fellow ringinites.

Adieu.

I like my wrestling almost as much as I do my coffee. And I do love my coffee, as you can tell how much it's affected my skin tone.