Let’s take a look at the card –
1. CM Punk vs. The Miz vs. Alberto Del Rio *TLC Match for the WWE Championship
2. Mark Henry vs. Big Show *Chairs Match for the World Heavyweight Championship
3. Triple H vs. Kevin Nash *Sledgehammer Ladder Match
4. Cody Rhodes vs. Booker T *Intercontinental Championship Match
5. Dolph Ziggler vs. Zack Ryder *U.S. Championship Match
6. Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett *Tables Match
MATCH #1: United States Championship Match – Dolph Ziggler vs. Zack Ryder
Vickie Guerrero is with Dolph Ziggler of course. The crowd is hard for Ryder. #TLC is already trending worldwide, they say. Ryder uses the cheers of the crowd as fuel for his offensive onslaught. Ziggler comes back with a hard DDT on the ring apron. #WWETLC is the number one trend worldwide right now. The Twitter talk is seriously out of control. Meanwhile, Ziggler is dominating Ryder and the crowd is trying to get the challenger back into it. The referee ejects Vickie Guerrero from ringside and the match continues at a fast pace. Ziggler hits a Fame-Ass-Er but only gets two. After some more back and forth, Ryder hits the Rough Ryder to get the clean pin and become the NEW UNITED STATES CHAMPION!! Match was about 11 minutes.
WINNER – Zack Ryder, NEW US CHAMPION, ***** (for finally putting the belt where it belongs)
MATCH #2: WWE Tag Team Championship Match – Air Boom vs. Primo & Epico
The challengers are accompanied by Rosa Mendes. Bourne and Epico start the match. The champions start off hot but Primo and Epico use some questionable tactics to take control. The #1 Trend Worldwide right now is Air Boom. The challengers isolate on Bourne for a few minutes until Kofi gets the hot tag. Bourne wipes out Epico on the floor and Kingston hits Primo with Trouble in Paradise and the champions retain. I guess that’s why they’re called AIR BOOM. We thought this would be better.
WINNERS – Air Boom, still Tag Team Champions, **¾
Backstage Teddy Long and Hornswoggle have a “funny” little exchange.
MATCH #3: Tables Match – Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett
They brawl right from the get-go, and it doesn’t take long for a table to get involved. Orton slams Barrett’s face into the steel steps. Barrett fights back and they fight up by the entrance. In fact, they fight everywhere BUT inside the ring. Barrett gets a cut on his head, and it reminds me how glad I am that they don’t stop matches for blood anymore. Even with the blood, Barrett takes control of Orton and wears him down as they finally make their way back into the ring. Orton comes back with the powerslam and goes for the Orton DDT but Barrett blocks it and goes for Wasteland off the apron. Now Orton blocks that and hits the DDT. Orton goes for the RKO but Barrett pushes him off and hits the Boss Man Slam. Barrett sets Orton on the table and goes to the top and he jumps right into an RKO and Orton gets the win.
WINNER – Randy Orton, ***
Teddy Long gives the Bella Twins his phone number. Jack Swagger busts in and wants something done about Mark Henry hitting him with a chair on Smackdown. That leads to Long announcing Swagger versus Sheamus tonight.
MATCH #4: Divas Championship Match – Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly
The challenger is hopped up for this match, taking it right to the Glamazon Champion. Of course Beth uses her power to take control, and thus she also is trending #1 Worldwide. Beth asks the referee “got the time?” twice, and the camera got a great shot of it. Kelly comes back and tries a Thesz Press but Beth catches her and slams her down for a two-count. This is brutal. Beth goes up and misses a guillotine legdrop. Moments later she’s able to trap Kelly in an alley-oop powerbomb to get the pin and retain the title.
WINNER – Beth Phoenix, still Divas Champion, ¾*
The Miz and Alberto Del Rio try to psyche each other out backstage. Ricardo Rodriguez gets abused.
The Royal Rumble 2012 advertisement features Santino Marella looking in a crystal ball.
Earlier this month a group of marines wished their friends and families Happy Holidays.
MATCH #5: Intercontinental Championship Match – Booker T vs. Cody Rhodes
Rhodes attacks Booker during his entrance. That’s the second time Rhodes has attacked Booker tonight (sorry, I meant to report on the earlier attack backstage). The match doesn’t even happen. The attack wasn’t even that severe and the crowd isn’t happy, so they get rewarded with a Triple H / Kevin Nash video package.
MATCH #5: Sledgehammer Ladder Match – Kevin Nash vs. Triple H
They start throwing hands right off the bat as we wonder how long it will be before Nash tears something. The fight spills to the floor and HHH goes for the first ladder but Nash kicks it right back at him. HHH comes back because Might Makes Right. That should trend on Twitter. Triple H focuses on the knee to keep the larger Nash on the ground. Nash reverses an Irish Whip to send HH crashing into a ladder and down to the floor. They’ve been fighting for like 10 minutes and no one has even tried going for the ladder yet. The crowd comes alive a little bit when Nash starts clearing the announce table. Nash goes for the Jackknife but HHH backdrops him on the table. HHH makes his way up the ladder but Nash cuts him off before the sledgehammer can be retrieved. Nash hits a Chokeslam, and then takes his sweet time setting up a table. HHH fights back and uses the ladder to send Nash to the floor. He then climbs up the ladder and Nash joins him. Amazingly, HHH knocks Nash off the ladder through the table! That gives HHH the chance to make the sledgehammer his. The crowd is fully awake now and half-chubbed. HHH unloads on Nash with the hammer, and then tries to hit a Pedigree but Nash blows it so they just repeat the spot. Nash gets to his knees and signals for the Clique, but HHH ain’t buying it and blasts Nash in the face with the sledgehammer to finally get the pin and end this atrocity.
WINNER – Triple H, DUD
Backstage, Matt Striker gets a word with the WWE Champion CM Punk. John Laurinaitis interrupts and wishes Punk good luck.
MATCH #6: Jack Swagger vs. Sheamus
Swagger is accompanied by Vickie Guerrero. They need to find something for Sheamus to do right away after this. Swagger controls the first little bit of the match until Sheamus gets angry and goes on offense. The All-American American goes to work on the ankle and tries the Ankle Lock but Sheamus rolls out of it. Sheamus then hits the Brogue Kick to get the win.
WINNER – Sheamus, **
Backstage, Josh Mathews gets a word with the Big Show, who is confident in his ability to win the World Heavyweight Championship from Mark Henry tonight.
Please don’t try this at home.
MATCH #7: Chairs Match for the World Heavyweight Championship – Big Show vs. Mark Henry
Show wastes no time in throwing chairs into the ring. Henry feigns bailing on the match, and then goes to work on Show with a chair. They brawl around a bit and Show lands the WMD to win the match and the title. What the hell was that?
WINNER – Big Show, and NEW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION, *½
Henry attacks Show with a chair after the bell, because he’s a sore loser. The crowd chants for “Daniel Bryan” and they get their wish!
MATCH #8: World Heavyweight Championship Match – Big Show vs. Daniel Bryan
Bryan covers Show and gets the pin to win the Championship!
WINNER – Daniel Bryan, and NEW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION, DUD (Love the result though)
MATCH #9: Intercontinental Championship Match – Cody Rhodes vs. Booker T
Cody dominates the veteran, and I’m surprised we’re seeing this match. Booker comes back with a flurry of offense but can’t put Rhodes away. He does the Spin-a-Roony and goes for the Scissors Kick but can’t connect and Rhodes hits the Beautiful Disaster for two. Another kick to the head gets a three-count and Rhodes retains the title.
WINNER – Cody Rhodes, still Intercontinental Champion, **¼
Buy the new Stone Cold Steve Austin biography, on DVD and Blu-Ray! I already got mine.
Earlier tonight, Zack Ryder won the U.S. Championship from Dolph Ziggler.
MATCH #10: WWE Championship TLC Match – Alberto Del Rio vs. The Miz vs. CM Punk
All three of wrestlers go after each other. They take it to the floor and Punk looks the best equipped to handle the stipulations of the match. Punk knocks Miz into the crowd with a running knee to the jaw. He brings a ladder into the ring and climbs up but Ricardo Rodriguez jumps in the ring and stops him, and then handcuffs him to the ladder! That gives Del Rio the chance to unload on the champion. Punk frees himself but Miz has made his way back into the ring to battle him. Miz and Punk battle up on the top rope and Del Rio delivers a running kick to the face, knocking Punk down through a table! Del Rio then takes the Miz out with the Cross Armbreaker. He heads back up to ringside and locks Punk in the hold with a chair assist. Del Rio tires to climb up but Punk and Miz both get back in the ring and push the ladder over. For some reason Rodriguez also tries to climb the ladder, but Punk and Miz push him over as well! He took a nasty bump there. Miz is then able to handcuff Punk to the middle turnbuckle. He gloats so Punk takes him out with a kick to the head. While Punk tries to free himself, Del Rio recovers and brings a ladder in the ring. Miz gets back up and the crowd chants hard for Punk. The champion is able to undo the rope and makes his way up to the top of the ladders! Punk knocks Miz down and sends Del Rio right after him, but Miz is able to pull him down. Miz goes up but Punk pulls him down and hits the Go To Sleep! Finally Punk is able to climb up and retrieve the title. Great main event.
WINNER – CM Punk, still WWE CHAMPION, ****
Tags: alberto del rio, cm punk, Dolph Ziggler, The Miz, zack ryder