CB’s Slant: TNA Impact Wrestling Live Streaming Recap for Thursday 04.05.2012

Opening segment: The entire Impact Wrestling roster surrounds the ring, and Hulk Hogan’s music plays. Hogan enters the ring with Sting and Dixie Carter. Hogan says it’s nice to be the GM and to be back in the saddle on Impact, brother. Hogan says there’s no way he’d be doing this if Sting didn’t have his back, then thanks Dixie for the second chance. Hogan says Impact is on a fast track and that the wheels are coming off. He then says he met with “Creative” earlier and they have big plans and new ideas in store.

But first, LockDown business. Hogan makes Morgan vs. Crimson in the cage for the PPV, then announces a Knockouts Championship Challenge to determine the new #1 Contender to challenge Gail Kim at LockDown as well.

Hogan then calls out Eric Bischoff, and two-time WWE Hall of Famer Ric Flair says Bischoff isn’t here. “WOOOOOOOO!” chants from the crowd before Bobby Roode’s music hits. It’s off the chain if you didn’t know.

Roode says his only official business that he has is the match with James Storm at LockDown. He tries to leave until then but Hogan says not so fast and calls Mr. Anderson into the ring. Hogan books Mr. Anderson vs. Bobby Roode for tonight’s episode of Impact and Roode pitches a fit.

Hogan then switches gears and sets his sights on Kurt Angle, telling Kurt he won’t wrestle Jeff Hardy at LockDown. Instead, Angle vs. Hardy is tonight, brother. Actually, it’s next…

Match 1. Jeff Hardy vs. Kurt Angle: The piped in crowd seems into it, Hardy and Angle go back and forth before Angle gets the advantage before heading to commercial…

Back from the break, a Twist of Fate is reversed into a series of suplexes, but Hardy kicks out. Crowd chants for Hardy, Angle slam reversed into the Twist of Fate, this time connecting. Hardy goes for the Swanton Bomb but Angle rushes up and nails a suplex off the ropes. Angle goes for the Ankle Lock with Hardy in the middle of the ring. Hardy crawls to the ropes but gets pulled back into the middle by Angle. Crowd still chanting for Hardy, and finally a reversal, then a spin kick. Hardy goes for the Swanton Bomb again, but Angle uses Hebner as a shield. Low Blow BLOCKED by Hardy, then they exchange punches. Hardy goes for another Twist of Fate, but Angle then exits the ring and has no interest in coming back to continue this fight.

Winner: Jeff Hardy via Countout

After Angle makes his way to the back, Hogan is waiting for Kurt on the other side. Hogan said it’s Angle vs. Hardy at LockDown in the cage, of course.

Next, Ric Flair talks to Eric Bischoff on the phone. Bischoff doesn’t want to come out to the Impact Zone, but Flair says it’s an emergency and offers up a cheap plug for 911. Bischoff reluctantly says he’s on his way.

Bubba Ray spews something about the TWITTAH, and says he’s the next World Champion regardless of Storm vs. Roode. He calls himself #CALFZILLA and says he’s about to take care of a “small problem” in the form of Austin Aries. But first, commercial…

Back from break, Bubba Ray is already in the ring. “DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?”, he says. He then says “I’m Bully Ray, I’m #CALFZILLA!” He then calls out Austin Aries. He says he’s eaten chicken fingers bigger than Aries, yadda yadda yadda…

Aries comes out, “SHHHH SHHHH SHHHH,” he says, before clocking Bully Ray and then landing a bunch of hard left punches with Bully Ray stunned in the corner. Bully Ray recovers, though, and nails Aries with a big Power Bomb. “Do you know who I am?” he says again to Aries. And scene…

Backstage, Joseph Park — no s — is at catering, looking for his brother Abyss, a.k.a. Chris Parks — with an s. Abyss had a rabid appetite, which is why Penn Jillette Joseph is talking up the catering guy. The catering guy says he’s only been there a month, and so he doesn’t know what Joseph Park is talking about. Business card left just in case…

Back from break, AJ Styles offers up his LockDown prediction for Roode vs. Storm. Styles cries about still being in TNA even though he gets constantly shafted says he likes Storm’s chances at LockDown. Storm comes in and says he appreciates the compliment and asks AJ if he wouldn’t mind fighting him tonight in a tuneup match. AJ agrees and says Storm will not land the Last Call Super Kick on him.

Match 2. TNA Knockouts #1 Contender’s Match: Winter vs. Tara vs. Angelina Love vs. Mickie James vs. Madison Rayne vs. Velvet Sky

One pin scores the victory for this match. We get six entrances for six former TNA Knockouts Champions, plus apparently Angelina and Winter’s “relationship” is over, according to a casual comment by Taz and Tenay. Before the bell rings, though, it’s time for another commercial…

Back from break, and by the time I looked up at the TV, Mickie James and Angelina Love are trading headlocks and punches and shoulder blocks. Mickie lands a drop kick, then a neck breaker. Madison Rayne breaks up the pin. Eventually, Velvet and Angelina end up in the ring together, trading punches and kicks and whatnot. Madison and Tara get tagged in, and Tara lands a pretty good side slam. Madison recovers, teases a tag to Mickie, but stays in.

Angelina sneaks in, and it’s finishers time. Tara nails the Widow’s Peak on Angelina. Winter hits a wind-up back breaker on Tara. Mickie hits a DDT on Winter. Velvet lands a big boot and double under-hook on Mickie, and that’s good enough for the pin and the win.

Winner and new #1 Contender for TNA Knockouts Championship: Velvet Sky

Backstage, Mr. Anderson says he’s going to beat Bobby Roode the same way Storm will at LockDown. Roode barges in with his security team and says the reverse will happen. They exchange words and nothing else really happens.

Eric Young’s Bachelor Party: Non-alcoholic wine and candy suckers are on the table in front of EY. He randomly calls out John Olerud as the dude next to him’s first round fantasy baseball pick. ODB (thankfully) interrupts and kicks the random dudes out and says every night of their marriage will be like a bachelor party for EY. Well, that was short but still very painful to watch and utterly pointless.

Match 3. James Storm vs. AJ Styles: LONGNECKKKKKKKS AND REDNECKKKKSSSSSSS are James Storm’s friends, along with Montgomery Gentry, if you didn’t know.

The crowd is definitely into this match, as they should be. Styles controls the first part of the match and stays one step ahead of Storm before they regroup in the middle of the ring. Storm headlocks AJ for a bit, then AJ gets to his feet, fights it off and chops Storm to officially break the hold. Styles now has control of the match and he slams Storm, then lands a running knee off the ropes to Storm’s head. The crowd is still very much into this match, clapping and chanting for both guys.

Styles tries to throw Storm into the corner, but he reverses, then lands a kick to Styles’ head from the ring apron. Styles counters with a kick of his own to Storm’s head while Storm was on the ropes. Storm recovers again, hits the Eye of the Storm, but AJ then recovers again. After applying a leg submission that Storm’s breaks, Styles hits the Pele, but that’s not good enough for the pin. Storm comes back and the match ends with a huge Last Call Super Kick to Styles that gives Storm the victory.

Winner: James Storm

Very solid match, especially for Impact. Taz and Tenay also played up Styles’ resume as Grand Slam Champion to make Storm’s win seem even more impressive. Nice touch.

Storm then gets on the microphone, talks more smack to Roode and ends with, “Sorry About Your Damn Luck!”

Hogan and Sting are talking backstage, and Sting tells Hogan he now needs to go home and rest and heal from his concussion and other injuries. Hogan says that’s cool but he will call him on speed dial if things get too heavy, brother. Commercial…

(Free Credit Score commercials are just horrible, and the whole thing’s a scam to get you to enroll in their crappy servives, if you didn’t know…)

We’re back, with James Storm celebrating with Montgomery Gentry, who are hanging out live in the locker room. Storm leaves to clean up and Roode comes into view with security again, and spits water at one of the band members.

Match 4. Motorcity Machine Guns vs. Mexican America: Shelley and Anarquia start things off, and the crowd chants “Welcome Back!” to signal their appreciation for MCMG’s return. Sabin tags in pretty quickly and gets a very nice pop for his first in-ring action in a long time. Sabin and Hernandez end up in the ring together, and Sabin establishes control. Tag to Shelley and some good tag sequences ensue. However, it’s not enough to keep Hernandez down and he regains control over Shelley. Not for long, though, and what happens next is a rapid flurry of awesomeness that reminded me just how quick and impactful MCMG is in that ring. It was so fast I just can’t recap it all, but my favorite move was a double kick to the head of Anarquia by Sabin and Shelley after Sabin flew through Shelley’s legs to land a suicide dive that took out Hernandez. Sabin and Shelly score the pin with some top rope goodness, and they proclaim after the match that they want the TNA Tag Team Titles.

Winners: Motorcity Machine Guns

After another commercial break, Hogan is back in the ring again and taking care of more business. He calls out Eric Bischoff, who is now in the building. Bischoff’s music hits and Eric makes his usual smug expressions but stays back at the Impact Zone entrance.

Bischoff says they are at opposite ends of the spectrum and says he and Hogan have numerous differences, the key difference being that Hogan is not a leader and that he doesn’t have a vision that others will follow. Hogan retorts and says Bischoff is the leader of “blowing hot air” all over the place and Hulk changes the LockDown match of Gunner vs. Garrett to a high stakes showdown of Eric Bischoff’s team vs. Garrett’s team. If Team Eric wins, Garrett will never be on the roster again. If Team Garrett wins, Eric can never use the Bischoff name again. Eric has no choice but to accept Hogan’s challenge and he gets mad at Hogan for putting him in this position with his son.


James Storm LockDown video package, with Storm and his family recapping Roode’s turn on Storm and how it affected him. Storm sells being stabbed in the back by Roode and says he will knock Roode’s lights out at LockDown when he gets the chance.

Match 5. Mr. Anderson vs. Bobby Roode

Anderson’s music hits, and he does his usual schtick before heading to the ring. Bobby Roode is out next, flanked by security like he has been all night. Brian Hebner immediately comes down to the floor and bans security from ring-side. While Roode is arguing this, Anderson gets the pre-bell advantage by punching Roode and bringing him into the ring.

Bell finally sounds and Anderson keeps control for a minute before Roode counters. Roode slows down the pace and kicks Anderson, then throws him into a few turnbuckles. Roode slaps Anderson while he’s down, and they wind up exchanging punches as Anderson recovers and regains the advantage. A few reversals lead to the ref being knocked out, and of course Anderson gets what would have been the pinfall victory if Hebner was in position. Roode leaves the ring and grabs a beer bottle from a fan, which he then uses to clock Anderson in the head while Hebner is still out of it. Roode scores the pin and the win after Hebner comes to and counts to three.

Winner: Bobby Roode


Storm comes out to check on a bloodied Anderson, followed by Hogan. Hogan REVERSES the decision to give Anderson the win, and the show closes with Roode saying, “Screw you!” to Hogan.

Winner after Decision is Reversed: Mr. Anderson

CB’s Slant: Not a bad show, especially thanks to Storm vs. Styles and the return of MCMG. They limited the horridness of Eric Young’s Bachelor Party by making it a very quick segment, and I liked that there was real focus on making the LockDown PPV seem important and viable.

That’s all from me — CB.

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