Stephan Bonnar Admits He Was Suicidal After Failing Drug Test

When Stephan Bonnar got the call to fight Anderson Silva at UFC 153 in Oct. 2012, it looked like the middleweight was on top of the world.

Instead, it was the beginning of the end. Bonnar was soundly defeated by Silva, flagged for steroids in his post-fight drug test, and ended up retiring shortly thereafter.

On yesterday’s episode of The MMA Hour, Bonnar discussed hitting rock bottom.

“It completely blew up in my face,” Bonnar said. “It was the worst thing that ever happened to me. It was the closest to offing myself I’ve ever been. It just sucked. So, anyway. That’s why I’m so jaded now. That’s the reason.”

Bonnar opened up and discussed why he resorted to using performing-enhancing drugs. Bonnar, who, (prior to the Silva fight) hadn’t gotten into the Octagon in a year and was only training other fights thought there was no harm in him using the drugs as he wasn’t competing.

“I haven’t been in the gym,” Bonnar said. “I’m weak, I’m skinny, I got some stem cell procedures done on my knee, I took a lot of time off. I’m like, crap. I’m really injury prone. So it was like, you know what, I have a month before I have to go train. So yeah, I’m not worried about getting tested any more. I’m going to do a cycle of steroids. My goal, to get big and strong. I’m going to eat a lot, lift heavy weights, get big and strong. Don’t have to worry about my cardio, don’t have to worry about making weight, don’t have to worry about getting drug tested. So that’s what I did. I never thought I had to fight again.”

Bonnar returns to MMA on Nov. 15 when he meets Tito Ortiz for Bellator.

Tags: ,