Heel Survivor Series Teams That Were A Bad Idea.

If there’s one thing I like, it’s when villains team up to fight the good fight. I loved it when the Sinister Six teamed up, I loved when the Dominion and Cardassians teamed up, and I loved when Charles Keating and Jerry Falwell teamed. (Probably Google that last one?) The best team up is a heel team up. Survivor Series didn’t just team up two heels together, but put five guys together in a faction for a night. It lead to some great teams of talented heels, but there were some guys that didn’t workout so well, and I thought we should look at some heel Survivor Series teams that didn’t even look good on paper.

Sgt Slaughter, Boris Zhukov, and The Orient Express: This was during Slaughter’s Iraqi heel rise. He was being set up as the main heel in WWE, and the next WWE champ. His team was Boris Zhukov, an evil Soviet without a country, and The Orient Express that were doing a tired old evil Asian heel gimmick. Slaughter was past his prime at this time, and so were these guys. Slaughter showed that he deserved to be WWE’s top heel by losing. When he finally won the WWE belt over the Ultimate Warrior, it was a brutal match. Slaughter actually killed the Ultimate Warrior at the Royal Rumble, forcing Vince to bring in a different wrestler to play the Warrior.

Brock Lesner, A-Train, Matt Morgan, Nathan Jones, and Big Show: All these big men in one match looked like a bad idea. After all Brock was the only member of the team that didn’t get winded in 5 minutes. A-Train seemed like he was trying, but it didn’t matter since most people were watching the newly face, John Cena. Another weird thing is that Angle was a face here, and face Angle sucked. The monster heels didn’t ruin this match, but I can’t believe someone thought putting Big Show, Nathan Jones, and Matt Morgan together was a good idea. I know it seems like a cliche to bag on the big men, but that’s because they’re not set up for long matches. I know there’s Vader and Mable that could move like a Luchador half their size, but I’ve yet to see those guys ever do that.

Umaga, Mr. Kennedy, MVP, Finlay, and Big Daddy V: I know you think this is a pretty solid team. It is solid until you see the team’s name is called “Team Umaga”, WWE made Umaga the captain of his own Survivor Series team. What’s worse is Umaga held up the WWE for more bananas before the match. The match was fine, and it made Mr Kennedy look a lot better than Mr Anderson. The high point of the match was Big Daddy V’s shooting star press of the announcer’s table into the middle of the ring. He was declared King Daddy V after that. Well my version of this match was better.

Vader, Marc Mero, Goldust, and Steve Blackman: This was Team America in 1997. After the Summer of Hart, the Hart Foundation destroyed every American wrestling faction put against them. All that was left was Vader, the literal new comer Steve Blackman ( the guy jumped a guard rail as a supposed fan like the week before this), evil jealous Marc Mero that hated Sable, and an even weirder Goldust. The reason these guys are on this list is because these guys represented the worst team I’ve ever seen represent America. Mero, and Goldust were playing selfish heels, while Vader played the American bully, and Blackman was booked as the naïve green horn. This match actually made me defect to Canada.

King’s Court: God bless Jerry Lawler for leading a team of little kings against Doink, and a team of little Doinks. Doink and Lawler are notorious for this match, but it’s obvious the match was for the kids in the audience. It was 1994 and times weren’t so cynical in the WWE. Times were cynical everywhere else, but not in WWE. They still cared about little kids, while the rest of the country cared about separating teenagers from their money. Did I mention that WWE would lose money by the time Survivor Series ’95 came around? It didn’t. Actually 1995 was WWE’s most profitable year ever seen. Bob Backlund was a popular heel champ, and held the belt until WrestleMania 12. I’m pretty sure that’s how it happened?

Shane McMahon, Steve Austin, RVD, Booker T, and Kurt Angle: This was the best The Alliance could come up with at Survivor Series 2001. If they lost it would be the end of the WCW/ECW invasion, and all these guys would be fired. So Shane McMahon stayed on the team even after Big Show took Vince’s place on Team WWE. For some reason Shane was never replaced by DDP, and apparently Kurt Angle revealed he was also a double agent during this match, and really working with Vince. By the time Raw ended the next night, the few surviving Alliance members became Vince McMahon’s henchmen, and Steve Austin was a rebel face again. Ric Flair would declare himself part owner of the WWE. I could spend a whole article on WWE’s bonkers year.

Heel of the week is Adam Rose for having a decent feud with a guy in a bunny suit, that is really Darren Young or whoever.

Top Five Worst heel Survivor Series Debuts
5) Kane
4) Yokozuna
3) The New Rockers
2) Ludwig Borga
1) Truth Commission

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