NWA World Heavyweight title
Jeff Jarrett (c) vs. Sting
Grut: Sting has Christian in his corner. Christian is Sting’s best friend. There is absolutely no way that Christian will turn on Sting and allow Jeff Jarrett to win, setting up Sting vs. Christian and Samoa Joe vs. Jarrett, the two biggest matches the company could produce for the biggest PPV of the year.
Winner – Sting (obviously, what could go wrong with Christian in his corner?)
David Brashear: This is going to be the turn for Christian. Jarrett retains to get ready for Joe, and Sting/Christian get to fight it out heading into Bound for Glory.
Winner – Jeff Jarrett
Joel Geraghty: Everybody and their grandma expects Christian to turn on Sting and cost him the match, but I really hope TNA realizes how painfully obvious that would be. It would also prove that Jarrett just brought Sting in to put himself over, and if it happens, could be Starrcade ’97 all over again. Sting needs to win… then after the match, Christian straps the belt on him and viciously attacks him, turning heel and setting up Sting/Christian. Christian eventually wins the belt and moves on to feud with Joe, playing a chickenshit heel running from the monster-face Joe.
Winner – Sting
Matthew Michaels: Where’s the money-match? Sting vs. Joe or Jarrett vs. Joe? And when do you put the belt on the Samoan Submission Machine? In September or at TNA’s “Super Bowl and World Series all in one,” Bound For Glory? Answer those questions and it’s pretty easy to figure out where this match is heading. Sting beats Jarrett here by DQ, with the PPV ending in an all-out brawl between the four men. Next month, they book a four-way for the title, and Jarrett STILL retains, with Christian turning on Sting after the match. Joe, in the meantime will win tonight, face whoever he doesn’t pin next month, and get his title shot, finally, vs. Jarrett at BFG.
Winner – Sting
Will Cooling: Just to start off with a bit of a rant/tangent; TNA really have got their booking back-to-front with the title scene. Working from their desire to get BFG over as their Wrestlemania, Victory Road should’ve been headlined by Jarrett vs. Sting vs. Christian with Jarrett winning to further sow the seeds of the Sting/Christian feud and then this should’ve been the PPV to be headline by a Number One Contender’s match (say a six-way match between Sting, Christian, Joe, Steiner, Killings, Abyss), which Joe would’ve won to take him to BFG. Then have Joe put the title shot on the line against Rhino or Steiner at No Surrender (again to put over BFG as a bigger deal than an average title shot). But oh well we’re here now.
Now we all know what’s going to happen, we’ll see Sting just about to win and then shock horror Christian will turn on Sting to cost him the title and align himself with Jarrett. Sigh, there’s so many more interesting angles they could’ve done and which would’ve actually helped Christian reclaim his heat (and this won’t, after all someone turning on Sting is up there with a n.W.o reformation, HHH hitting someone with a sledgehammer and McMahon vs. Rebel Babyface as the most tedious wrestling clichés). We’ll probably see a major beat down on Sting, with Joe coming to make the save to begin the build to Jarrett/Joe at BFG and mark his official face turn.
Winner – Jeff Jarrett
PK: Plain and simple, if Sting wins, this feud is done, and I don’t think TNA is ready to end it. Look for the inevitable Cage heel turn here.
Winner — Jarrett
Eric Szulczewski: I’ll stick with what I predicted last month, for one good reason: it means more to the marks if Joe wins the title from Sting than if he wins it from Jarrett. Jarrett gets his courtesy rematch next month while Joe becomes Number One Contender, and then we get the Passing Of The Torch.
Winner and New Champion – Sting
Iain Burnside: What? I actually WANT Jarrett to win a title match? Sweet holy titties, the power of Joe truly is overwhelming. And he ain’t even involved with this one. Meh, I’m just hoping for a “You’ll turn heel” chant directed at Christian but that would probably be expecting too much from the Impact Zone spork-users. Orlando 0, Hammerstein 1.
Winner – Chuck Norris’ bitch, JEFF JARRETT
Vinny Truncellito: I just can’t imagine a scenario in which Jarrett’s character will be in jeopardy of leaving TNA (which is sort of what they’ve been implying regarding the loser of this match). With Christian in Sting’s corner, I figure Captain Charisma turns heel on the Stinger and costs him the strap.
Winner — Jeff Jarrett
Mark Neeley: I’m still saying that Joe will ultimately be the one to dethrone Jarrett. I originally picked Sting to win the title here, but I’m sticking with plan A.
Winner – Jeff Jarrett
Steve Murray: I’m seriously tempted to predict the exact opposite of what I think should be done on this show, due to my severe lack of respect for TNA’s booking committee. But, I’m going to play it straight, since there are a few match results here that I think could really turn around my opinion of the entire organization, if they are done right. Start with this one: Jarrett wins due to interference by Christian, who turns on Sting (giving us the infinitely more entertaining heel Christian, and a built-in feud). Then, Jarrett can deal with a challenge from Samoa Joe, who simply has to become World Champ in short order.
Winner – Jeff Jarrett
NWA World Tag Team titles
AJ Styles & Christopher Daniels (c) vs. LAX
Grut: Kill the 15 teams going for the title shot angle now or give the titles to LAX? Personally, I think the title belts would be a huge boost to LAX and Daniels and Styles don’t really need them, but I don’t see a change until The Naturals.
Winners – Styles and Daniels
David Brashear: I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – AJ and Daniels should be in the main event, not cluttering up the tag division. On the other hand, this also collides with my normal rant about Konnan being on my TV.
Winners – AJ Styles & Christopher Daniels
Joel Geraghty: I see the champs retaining here in a great match, but LAX attacks them afterwards to continue the feud.
Winners – Styles & Daniels
Matthew Michaels: I think it’s time for LAX to finally get a push, and with Esmirelda? distracted elsewhere and the Dudleyz in need of a target when they return, heel champions Homicide and Hernandez sounds about right to me.
Winner – LAX
Will Cooling: LAX have had a strong month since the ‘work stoppage’ finally ended and they’ve certainly tapped into real life issues to create an exciting and credible stable. LAX deserve to be tag champions, with their big/little man dynamic giving them bags of potential to become a very good tag team. However, this title match has came just a tad too soon for them especially with all the main challengers for the tag titles being heels (well I suppose with it being TNA it’d be more accurate to call them heelish tweeners) and nothing for AJ and Daniels to do after jobbing the belts. Plus Daniels jobbed on Thursday and the golden rule is always that those who job on TV the weak before a PPV get the big win. Hopefully, we’ll see more from these two teams soon.
Winner – The X-Division Dream Team
PK: I like the idea of having AJ & Daniels take on all comers. This will be a tough one, but look for the champs to retain, but put LAX over huge.
Winners – Styles & Daniels
Eric Szulczewski: We’ve all heard about Ricky Banderas coming in to join Sheremetyevo. Of course, we all heard that when Low Ki came back, he’d be joining them. Let’s get more creative in the booking than that, please. How about this? Banderas does a run-in here, but it costs his fellow brown people the title. He then teams with Low Ki to feud with Homicide and Hernandez, saying that the latter insults Hispanics everywhere. That’s definitely a great deal less racist than having every Hispanic on the roster in the same stable, isn’t it? Of course, that’s too intelligent for TNA. Besides, TNA’s probably looking at the complete depush of the X Division and is tempted to reinsert Daniels and Styles at the first opportunity. Well, it’s their fault, isn’t it? If they’d pushed someone other than those two and Joe, maybe the X Division wouldn’t be looking so bad right now. I told them this would happen, but, as usual, they didn’t listen. Morons.
Winners – AJ and Chris, only because I have the other two straps changing hands, and I don’t think they’d do a full belt swap at Hard Justice. Bound For Glory, yes, but not Hard Justice.
Iain Burnside: Speaking as somebody who has been furiously constipated for the past three days, I take great umbrage at the name of Chrisstyles opponents. It only serves to remind me of the bathroom fun that I’m missing out on. Still, it would give me ample opportunity to catch up on my reading. Would probably even have time to actually finish LOTR, though I’m certainly not anywhere near that bored/high/gay/unemployed/tragic/homeless/greasy/Jericho just yet. Anyway, too soon for another title change, too little else for the champs to do, and too likely Konnan’s strapping young boys will be shunted out the way by Shane Douglas’ strapping young men. So.
Winners – Chuck Norris’ assistants, CHRISSTYLES
Vinny Truncellito: I think the best thing for the NWA tag team straps right now is a long and fruitful reign for the champs, which will allow those open contracts to mean something. Everybody gets a shot but nobody beats ‘em. An extended storyline arc where every team on the roster goes for the gold and falls short would also guarantee some quality in-ring action week to week.
Winners — Styles and Daniels
Mark Neeley: Absolutely no reason to take the tag straps off of AJ ‘n Chris so early, as simple as that.
Winners – AJ ‘n Chris
Steve Murray: These two teams have really just started to get things going. I think they need to have at least one more PPV match, before The Naturals start getting involved in the title picture.
Winner – Styles and Daniels
X Title
Senshi (c) vs. Petey Williams vs. Jay Lethal
Grut: Wow. I had this match perfectly scouted and then they throw Jay Lethal into the match. I only pray they put him in there and plan to give him the title so he can be the face to job to Nash. Nah.
Winner- Sushi
David Brashear: No way Lethal takes this. I also don’t think it’s quite time for Senshi to drop the belt just yet.
Winner – Senshi
Joel Geraghty: I like Petey, but I’m so glad Jay was added because I just don’t think Senshi/Petey on their own would have been terribly interesting and the crowd would have been dead with no babyface to cheer. I’d love to see Lethal and he’ll get his title run one day soon, but it’s not that day yet…
Winner – Senshi
Matthew Michaels: Senshi’s still on the roster? Don’t forget the winner of this match faces Nash or Sabin at some point. I can’t see Senshi/Nash, though, unless they want to use Big Kev to put Ki over. I also can’t see Kevin Nash, X Division Champion. So who will be the man to beat Nash and keep him down? Or will Sabin actually win tonight making this a non-issue? Actually, I have a feeling Petey steals this one. They seem to be pushing him.
Winner – Williams
Will Cooling: Well with all the rumours swirling about backstage difficulties between Senshi and TNA we can pretty much guess that Senshi will be waving goodbye to the X-Division Title on Sunday. Now with the big push for all the ex-members of Team Canada (and his very prominent position on the new Best of X-Division DVD cover) it’d seem that Petey Williams is a shoe-in for the title. But then they go and add Jay Lethal, which complicates matters. Now it could be that Lethal’s TAKA impression a couple of weeks ago impressed TNA so much that they’ve decided to put the strap on him. However I think it’s more likely that he’s been added because Senshi doesn’t want to job and so Williams will pin Lethal to spare Senshi’s blushes. Which is a shame as I think Lethal would be a better champion and more worthy/better suited to match with Big Sexy at No Surrender.
Winner – Petey Williams pins Jay Lethal.
PK: I like Senshi, I really do, but his character doesn’t leave a lot of room to actually build up feuds. However, Petey and Lethal do not stand a chance.
Winner – Senshi
Eric Szulczewski: Does anyone care? The main X Division push is happening away from the title. Low Ki hasn’t done crap with the belt since winning it. They need to change the strapholder now. Williams has already had an extended reign with it, but he needs a push away from Team Canada. Lethal, though, would bring a better set of opponents and matches and might light a fire under the X Division that it desperately needs right now. Give the youngster a chance, I say.
Winner and New Champion – Jay Lethal
Iain Burnside: Kicky, Flippy and Gummy collide! Yee-haw! Kicky’s been pissing off management, Flippy is a FIRM and possibly RIGID favourite of D’Amore, and Gummy has been getting the spotlight the most lately. Gummy will get the belt before the year is out, but probably not tonight. Flippy has been there, done that, and added little. Stick with Kicky. Perhaps some of the UFC crowd are dumb enough not to notice the difference.
Winner – Chuck Norris’ non-union equivalent, KICKY
Vinny Truncellito: [written before iMPACT!] Team Canada’s been prominently featured since Cornette forced them to split, and Senshi has some heat backstage. Let the Canadian Destroyer be felt all across the land! [written after iMPACT!] What reason is there to suddenly insert another man into a title match at the eleventh hour, unless he’s going to take the strap?
Winner – I thought Petey Williams when it was one-on-one, but now I’m guessing Jay Lethal
Mark Neeley: Well, I like the fact that they added a third X guy (Lethal) into the mix. Should be a good match, but again, all through the show we are dealing with newer Champions, so I don’t see why Senshi would drop it here.
Winner – Senshi
Steve Murray: Rumors abound concerning Senshi’s backstage attitude, and his supposed lack of contract. Yeah, so? You think nobody knew about those when they put the belt on him in the first place?
Winner – Senshi
Falls Count Anywhere
Rhino vs. Samoa Joe vs. Monty Brown
Grut: This is the toughest match on the card to pick. Wait, no it isn’t.
Winner- Samoa Joe
David Brashear: A solid win over both Rhino and Brown just pushes Joe further up the card to send him after Jarrett.
Winner – Samoa Joe
Joel Geraghty: This should be a crazy, wild brawl with some cool spots. Joe has never been in a FCA in TNA, so this should be very interesting. Joe wins via pin/submission on the Alpha Male.
Winner – Samoa Joe
Matthew Michaels: Samoa Joe pins Monty here, faces Rhino next month.
Winner — Joe
Will Cooling: Joe’s been treading water for a while, with his ‘winning streak’ being watered down incredibly. He really has to win this match to regain some momentum. However, I doubt TNA will do that. Instead they’ll probably continue their insane push for Rhino and have him get the duke, especially with the focus on the FCA nature of the match. I can see Joe being distracted by Steiner as Rhino/Monty brawl to the back, with Rhino getting the pin before Joe can catch up with the action. Poor Brown, why oh why do black wrestlers find it so difficult to get a fair break in a promotion dominated by rednecks?
Anyway, he’s hoping they give this match enough time for it to get going and let Joe and co really show their stuff. Oh and let’s keep the extremely crappy brawling to a minimum, these guys are better than that shit.
Winner — Rhino over Monty Brown
PK: 2 Triple Threat matches? Anyone not picking Joe is crazy. He’ll probably go over Monty, and this very gritty match. And, really, this should’ve been a Monster’s Ball match.
Winner — Joe
Eric Szulczewski: I still believe that WWE’s lack of interest in Monty is a smokescreen to drive his price down (he’d still fit in nicely on Raw). However, I believe that TNA’s lack of interest in him is real. This is the time to make him damaged goods. In that case, Joe’s gonna kill him.
Winner – Samoa Joe
Iain Burnside: So, who gets to run-in and distract Joe while Rhino pins Monty? Steiner? Nash? Kicky? Gillberg? Widro? General Zod? A polar bear? Tom Cruise? Tom Waits? Peaches Geldof? Bono? The Pope? Mel Gibson? Mark Hateley? John Prescott? The Thin White Duke? Some Stormtroopers? An ice-cream van? Do I need to poo yet? Hmm, almost…
Winner – Chuck Norris’ garden gnome, RHINO
Vinny Truncellito: Monty’s in the dog house, Joe’s being protected by the bookers (still technically undefeated) and Rhino tried to bury ECW on iMPACT!. Since the three-way formula allows Joe to not be involved in the decision, I see Rhino pinning Brown.
Winner — Rhino
Mark Neeley: Abyss has basically disappeared, so it’s basically between Rhino and Monty, both desperately needing a push of some kind. Flip of the coin, I’ll go with Monty.
Winner – Monty Brown
Steve Murray: Should be good and brutal – all three guys can bring it when they want to. Once again, we’re looking at a result that seems so obvious, I’m scared TNA will screw it up simply by trying to be clever.
Winner – Samoa Joe
Winner gets an X title shot
Kevin Nash vs. Chris Sabin
Grut: It’ll be Sabin. Sabin needs the win, he needs to get over in this feud against Nash. That being said, please, PLEASE, let Nash be the winner. And then let him win the X-Division title. This is the best angle in all of wrestling, quite possibly of all time. Kevin Nash now rivals Mick Foley for the best promos in the business. I hope he’s looking at the footage like Burt Reynolds in Boogey Nights and saying, “This is the best work I’ve ever done.”
Winner – Please, PLEASE, Kevin Nash
David Brashear: This feud’s been fun, but I think it’s run its course. Sabin wins the match and the title shot, and cashes it in against Senshi next month.
Winner – Chris Sabin
Joel Geraghty: This probably won’t be very good, but Sabin will do his best and Nash seems to sell pretty well for the X guys, so who knows. I see Nash winning here, just for the novelty of a 7-foot 300-pounder challenging the X Division Champion at the next PPV. Then we get Senshi, with Jerry Lynn as his mentor in the weeks leading up, going over Nash at No Surrender; afterwards, Senshi attacks Lynn and we get a Senshi/Lynn feud, while Nash goes on to “return the favor” and put Sabin over in his hometown of Detroit at Bound For Glory.
Winner – Kevin Nash
Matthew Michaels: Man I have no idea. It doesn’t seem like the “right time” for Nash to lose to an X-man, but then again, I can’t see him putting over Senshi, Lethal or Williams in a title match (while I CAN see him eventually putting over Sabin or even Shelley). Whatever happens, I can’t see a clean finish here. Perhaps Sabin wins, but Nash blames one of his paparazzi?
Winner – Chris Sabin
Will Cooling: Difficult match to call really, not just from the standpoint of who will win but who should win. Despite my initial reservations about this feud, it can’t be denied that Nash has been excellent during this feud, and at the moment he’s succeeding in elevating all the X-Division guys involved in the feud (Shelley in particular). Of course the key thing is that at some point Nash has to do the job, otherwise all the good work will be undone. The question then becomes, does Nash job now to end the storyline or does he go over here and fight for the X-Division Title at No Surrender? I think there’s still life in this feud, and what with the Paparazzi jobbing this week on Impact I think Big Sexy will go over.
Winner – Kevin Nash
PK: I can see it now, Nash vs. Senshi….right…
Winner – Sabin
Eric Szulczewski: I just find it so hard to believe that Kevin Nash has been so cooperative in getting Chris Sabin over. The other shoe has to drop sometime. I think they’ll come up with some sort of compromise here. Sabin goes over, but not clean. As to who does the honors, I have no clue at this point.
Winner – Chris Sabin
Iain Burnside: I wholeheartedly endorse the idea of bringing Goldberg in and having him dress up as Somalian Joe.
Winner – Chuck Norris’ designated driver, KEVIN NASH
Vinny Truncellito: Recent storylines would seem to indicate that Big-and-Fat Daddy Cool moves on to face the X Champ.
Winner — Kevin Nash
Mark Neeley: Please …
Winner – Chris Sabin
Steve Murray: It’s simple: if Sabin wins, I’ll start watching Impact and including it in my Bright Side column. If Nash wins (especially if he wins clean), Impact comes off my Tivo Season Pass for good.
Winner – Sabin
Winner gets a Tag title shot
America’s Most Wanted vs. the James Gang vs. the Naturals vs. Matt Bentley & Frankie Kazarian
Grut: I don’t care.
Winner- Naturals
David Brashear: Let’s break this down. James Gang is tired, AMW should not be near the titles right now, and Bentley/Kazarian haven’t done anything at all yet. Who’s it leave?
Winners – The Naturals
Joel Geraghty: Tough one here, but I think we can rule out AMW and Benzarian, and the Gang, unless LAX win the belts since there’s history there. Naturals need the win to further their angle, but a non-win would do the same and give Shane a reason to get REALLY pissed at them. I’ll go with the Nats, but no matter what, I see a three-way for the tag belts at No Surrender involving LAX and the Angels.
Winners – The Naturals
Matthew Michaels: I’m picking LAX to win the belts, so my money’s on The Naturals’ push to continue here…
Winner – Natural Blonde and Natural Brunette
Will Cooling: Well AMW are doing a slow-burn break up angle so they can be discounted, the James Gang don’t need the belts so we can discount them (and to be fair to TNA they’re getting better at keeping broken down ‘superstars’ away from their belts) and Matt Bentley and Frankie Kazarian just don’t seem to me to be a genuine full time tag team. So almost by default The Naturals will be the team that gets the duke, which makes sense, as they’re the ones getting the big push. They’ll probably pin a member of AMW to further the latter’s break up angle.
Winner – The Naturals over AMW
PK: While they seem to be pushing The Naturals quite a bit, I think should Bentley & Kazarian will go over here…think of the matches they can have with AJ & Daniels, but look for The James Gang to pick up the duke, and finally challenge for those Tag Titles BG keeps saying they are going after.
Winners — Outlaws
Eric Szulczewski: Oh, this is complicated by the fact that I have AJ and Chris retaining. If they’re dropping the titles, the Naturals win this, no doubt. Does TNA think they can pull off a “respect” feud between those two teams? They’ve got enough hubris to think they can. Oh, hell, no other result makes any sense.
Winners – The Naturals
Iain Burnside: Split up, past it, BIG FAT JUBBLY PUSH, flatter than a drunk guy in an OAP strip club. What could possibly happen?
Winners – Chuck Norris’ offended sensibilities, THE NATURALS
Vinny Truncellito: The “newly Franchised” Douglas and Stevens have stepped it up a notch lately. Plus, imagine the storyline heat they’d have with Shane if they won the title shot but failed to bring home the gold? Good stuff”¦ AMW versus Styles and Daniels has overstayed its welcome for a while, the James Gang need to leave me the Hell alone, and Kazarian just walked back in the door and into an X Division title match. He doesn’t need a tag shot as well, at least not so soon after returning.
Winners — The Naturals
Mark Neeley: I am pulling for Bentley & Kazarian, but I really can’t see a Naturals and Douglas loss.
Winners – The Naturals
Steve Murray: Yeah, whole lot of suspense here.
Winner – The Naturals
Brother Runt vs. Abyss
Grut: Can’t job Abyss to Runt. If you did, Runt would probably take the biggest bump of the year at the next PPV, but you can’t do it. Maybe if they had started with some lesser known big man or something, but nope.
Winner- Abyss
David Brashear: Spike’s Giant-Killer routine may have worked in ECW, but this isn’t ECW. (Of course, it could be argued that ECW isn’t ECW these days, but that’s a whole `nother tangent.) No way Abyss goes down here.
Winner – Abyss
Joel Geraghty: I love both guys and think they have great chemistry. Hopefully this will be No DQ, but I see Abyss winning and assaulting Runt after the bell until Raven makes the save. Runt gets pissed because he didn’t need help and we have a hardcore three-way feud.
Winner – Abyss
Matthew Michaels: I would laugh my ass off if Spike wins here.
Winner — Abyss
Will Cooling: This match was nothing special when it headlined Guilty As Charged 2000, and I doubt I’ll like it now with a broken down, lazy Runt. Abyss will go over, unless TNA has completely taken leave of their senses (and Abyss taken leave of his for agreeing to such a finish). We’ll probably see FlockDust stop a post-match beating to set up another match in the Grievous Bodily Harm Division.
Winner – Abyss, and I better be fecking right.
PK: When in his career will Runt be content with the beatings he takes in these kinds of matches?
Winner — Abyss
Eric Szulczewski: Everyone’s favorite rag doll versus everyone’s favorite death machine. This is gonna be brutal and fun. I’m going with the not-so-obvious result here in the thought that Spike’s going to get built up for something. I’m not sure what, but it’ll be something.
Winner — Spike
Iain Burnside: Dunudunudunudunumysharona…
Winner – Chuck Norris’ interpretive dance instructor, ABYSS
Vinny Truncellito: What good does it do to have Runt lose at this stage in the arc? Although I can’t imagine anything he could do to Abyss, short of running him over with an 18-wheeler, which could even get the monster’s attention. Still, it would be one heck of a stilted storyline if Runt lost this one.
Winner — Brother Runt
Mark Neeley: zzzzzzzzzzzz
Winner — Abyss
Steve Murray: Somebody be sure to mop Spike up off the floor before the turn the lights off for the evening.
Winner – Abyss
Gail Kim vs. Sirelda
Grut: Bye Sirelda. You confuse me.
Winner – Kim
David Brashear: Next!
Winner – Gail Kim
Joel Geraghty: Yeah. Who cares? Gail is hot as hell and a great worker, but can she carry this green stiff? We’ll find out, but Gail winning is a no-brainer.
Winner – Gail Kim
Matthew Michaels: AJ and Daniels are gonna lose the belts, so maybe this is a win for their lady, with Gail Kim & AMW somehow playing into the tag title match for revenge.
Winner — Sirelda
Will Cooling: Ah Sirelda; Chyna without the marketable Amazonian look, Nicole Bass without the freak show charm, Jazz without the facial hair. She’ll win in what will be the least arousing women’s match since”¦well”¦er”¦I’ll get back to you on that.
Winner — Sirelda
PK: This is an oddball. You’d think they would want to push Sirelda, however with the skid that AMW & Gail have been on lately, I think they need the cred more then the new chick, who probably won’t be around in 3 months anyway.
Winner – Gail Kim
Eric Szulczewski: Smell the excitement. Who cares? I mean, really, who cares? Their plans for a women’s division got shot to hell when Jackie got preggers, and this is what’s left because they won’t let Hemme into the ring.
Winner – Gail Kim, because it gets rid of the she-male
Iain Burnside: Won’tya gimme som’ya slime sharona…
Winner – Chuck Norris’ toilet roll holder, GAIL KIM
Vinny Truncellito: Kim’s a former WWE Women’s Champion, and Sirelda came out of nowhere. Between her experience and her powerful allies, Kim should be able to teach the newcomer a lesson here (most likely through nefarious means), no doubt continuing the feud.
Winner — Gail Kim
Mark Neeley: Don’t know, don’t care
Winner – The good chick
Steve Murray: Whatever.
Winner – Sirelda
Johnny Devine vs. Eric Young
Grut: Man, they’ve built up Johnny Devine so huge that it would be a mistake to feed him to that blithering idiot. Can you believe he thinks he’s going to get fired? What a jackass! The fans don’t like Eric! They laugh at Eric! Everyone hates you Eric, EVERYONE! JACKASS! LOSER! EUGENE! SCOUNDREL! VAGABOND! TITTYPANTS!
Winner- Eric Young
David Brashear: With the great crowd response to Young’s “coward” gimmick, I don’t see him losing this one.
Winner – Eric Young
Joel Geraghty: I expect Eric to be tentative here (like he was with A1) since he and Johnny were former teammates with Team Canada, but he remembers Cornette’s warning about not losing and goes nuts en route to total victory.
Winner – Eric Young
Matthew Michaels: It’s all part of the master plan. Eric Young’s my TNA MVP lately, and I hope this match isn’t relegated to the pre-show. Does a loss for Devine here, followed by my predicted Shelley/Nash disagreement mean the end is near for Paparazzi Productions? More importantly, does this mean we’ll never see what was on that Jackie Gayda video??
Winner – Showtime
Will Cooling: Seeing as Cornette asked Eric to take care of Devine for him I’m guessing that Eric will lose the match and so make Jimmy mad. And Eric doesn’t want to see Jimmy mad.
(Btw, I love the whole Don’t Fire Eric gimmick, I just pray that TNA have some sort of payoff in mind).
Winner – Johnny Devine
PK: DON’T FIRE HIM!!
Winner – Eric Young
Eric Szulczewski: The half of Team Canada with charisma explodes. The only way this works is if Devine goes over (with help from Shelley) so that Young stays in fear of losing his job.
Winner – Johnny Devine
Iain Burnside: I can swallow whate’er you find sharona…
Winner – Chuck Norris’ pillow tester, ERIC YOUNG
Vinny Truncellito: Either Showtime wins and mistakenly believes his employment woes are over, only to find this was the first of many trials Cornette has in mind for him, or Devine wins, causing Young even more distress about his job situation. Either one leads to more of Young’s entertaining segments on iMPACT! over the next few weeks. Have you noticed all the “Don’t Fire Eric” chants and signs in Orlando lately?
Winner — Johnny Devine
Steve Murray: Eric Young is the most over comedy mid-carder in TNA history. Please, guys – give the crowd something to make them happy here.
Winner – Eric Young
