Kenny Dykstra vs. Ric Flair
PK: They seem to be pushing Kenny pretty hard here, and Flair is basically only around to elevate talent.
Winner – Dykstra
Matthew Michaels: Will Flair even be able to compete? Will it matter? Kenny needs to go over here, and if he doesn’t, it has to be done with Flair getting some help from an unexpected source. Johnny Jeter perhaps? Yeah, why not.
Winner – Flair
Eric Szulczewski: If they wanted to end this now, then a Flair win is the way to go. I don’t think they do. My Illegitimate Son is on the fast track to the upper-mid-card, and a Flair feud leading into (and beyond) the Rumble Match is a good way to get him attention. Perhaps acceptance into the Edge/Orton coterie might be a way to do it, and to get a six-man (and DX match) on the Rumble card. Therefore, my boy’s cheap win/Flair’s DQ win will be by interference leading to that. I’ll go with the old ref bump scenario here and give the win to my boy. Just make him look good, Ric, that’s all I ask.
Winner – The fruit of my loins
Iain Burnside: Headbands should only be worn in Croatia in the 1980s.
Winner – the methodoanic one, KENNY DYKSTRA
J. Botter: Kenny’s got a good future ahead of him. He’s got a fairly generic look, but he’s only 13 years old, so he’ll be around a long time. Despite having beaten Flair several times on Raw over the past few months, I see this match as being Kenny’s “coming out” party, where he gets a solid win over a legend to help solidify his reputation. Whether that’ll be the case or not, I don’t know, but I do know that putting a 90 year old man over the youngest guy in your company on PPV isn’t a good business decision, regardless of the guy being Ric Flair.
Winner – Kenny Dykstra
Vinny Truncellito: Flair’s job in the industry for years has been to make opponents look good. He’s never had a problem selling and/or lying down for an up-and-comer, and WWE seems pretty high on Dykstra. This could be the launch pad to push him to the moon.
Winner – Kenny Dykstra
David Brashear: Flair’s had a rough way to go the last few months, hasn’t he? Seems like every time you see him he winds up in a puddle of his own blood, and you’d think that the Nature Boy would be about due a win. But the truth of the matter is that Kenny could use a major win like this more than Flair. Let’s see if the bookers can figure that out.
Winner – Kenny
Pulse Glazer: Kenny is really getting quite the rub from this fued and a win here would really help his career. Plus, I don’t want to piss Eric off.
Winner – Kenny
Danny Cox: Hasn’t this feud actually been going on for close to like five or six months now? I mean the matches really haven’t been bad, but what are they going for? Anyways I think Dykstra has a last name, has a hometown, and has his own music so it’s time he gets a clean win over Ric Flair.
Winner – Kenny Dykstra
Chris Biscuiti: The future for Kenny shines brightly, but will a hobbled Flair give the Kid a win and a PPV rub all in one fell swoop? On this night, I say Kenny pulls out a win over Mr. Frail – I mean Flair.
Winner – Kenny
Carlito vs. Chris Masters
PK: Poor Carlito….have nothing better to do with him then this. Seriously though, they couldn’t spend their time doing a Haas/Benjamin vs. Cryme Tyme match?
Winner – Carlito
Matthew Michaels: I can’t be the only one that realizes this is the one-year anniversary of the beginning of the Carlito/Masters feud, can I? That’s right – at New Year’s Revolution 2006, these two were in an Elimination Chamber match for the WWE Championship; a match which saw Carlito really start to come into his own in my opinion. Sure it didn’t hurt that the fans were REALLY anti-Cena, and Carlito seemed to feed off of the crowd. It was also the match that saw Carlito “turn” on his tag partner in a fun little twist. It’s time for Colon to finally take the next step up, and a win here should hopefully do that.
Winner – Carlito
Eric Szulczewski: NYR marks the one-year anniversary of this feud. I’ll send ’em a f*ckin’ card.
Winner – Carly Colon
Iain Burnside: What the f*ck? Are they STILL doing this feud?? Thank goodness I’m not watching.
Winner – the lazier, flabbier, harier one, CARLITO CARIBBEAN COOL
J. Botter: How is this match on a pay per view? Carlito and Masters barely deserve to be opening a Raw house show, much less fighting it out on a PPV, even if it is a B-level show. Masters is in the doghouse, Carlito is awful, and the less time spent on this match, the better we’ll all be.
Winner – Carlito
Vinny Truncellito: The Masterpiece has become more like a side-show attraction than a serious mid-carder these days. The Masterlock Challenge is ok, but I don’t see him going anywhere bigger and better. Carlito, on the other hand, always seems to flirt with a push, especially since he was paired with Trish Stratus, and now Torrie Wilson.
Winner – Carlito
David Brashear: Haven’t we seen this already?
Winner – Carlito
Pulse Glazer: I’m sure someone, somewhere cares about this, but it isn’t me. Carlito has a future, Masters probably doesn’t, and if he does, he shouldn’t.
Winner – Carlito
Danny Cox: Speaking of long feuds since before WrestleMania 22 hasn’t it been? So let’s see, Masterth was getting punked for about two weeks to Super Crazy, and then they squashed that. Carlito continues to get the hot diva poon action with Trish and now Torrie. Also, I just see no damn reason why Masterth is ever in a ring or on the mic, he’s just frickin painful to watch.
Winner – Carlito
Chris Biscuiti: People always say that WWE is quick to change storylines, but Carlito and Masters have been involved with each other for almost a year now. At last year’s Royal Rumble, Carlito actually eliminated Masters while they were tag partners, and even though there were a few layoffs I think that this a good mid-card match with at least some personal history. Whether or not J.R. or the King will actually mention the history between these two is a whole other ball of wax.
Winner – Carlito
Mickie James (c) vs. Victoria – Woman’s Championship
PK: There has been a good job showing Victoria as a threat. The truth is that she’s the only one that can go more then 2 minutes in the ring with Mickie.
Winner – James
Matthew Michaels: I think Mickie has to keep the belt here, but I also have a lot of babyfaces winning, and wwe all seem to like “the chase” with the heel champ doing his/her best to avoid the challenger, so I’m not sure here. My thoughts for Mania are that they’ll go with a four-way for the title, with Mickie, Victoria, Melina and Playboy cover-girl Ashley somehow involved, but I’m not sure who’ll hold the gold heading into the big event… I’ll flip a coin here and say….
Winner – Victoria
Eric Szulczewski: The reason Trish was able to have a nice, long title reign at this time last year is because LaJames was there in the wings to pick up the slack for the women’s division. LaJames doesn’t have that luxury. She has one opponent right now, and they need to put LaJames into chase mode in order to boost the stakes for the obvious Wrestlemania match between them. A title change either here or at the Rumble is appropriate. I think it’ll happen at the Rumble when a pissed-off Victoria goes on the rampage.
Winner – MickieLexis LaJames
Iain Burnside: If Mickie looks anywhere near as stunning as Victoria does when she is 36 then she can thank the plastic surgeon that surgically removed her nose and replaced it with a penis to spare her vagina from engulfing the lower half of her body to try and sate its smelly appetite.
Winner – the sluttier, pushier, less worthy one, MICKIE JAMES
J. Botter: Since there would be no point in pushing Victoria as strongly as they have only to have her lose here, that’s exactly what I suspect they’ll do. Kidding. Victoria winning the match sets up a rematch for WrestleMania, which is the direction they’re going.
Winner – Victoria
Vinny Truncellito: I have absolutely loved this entire arc. Victoria’s great at playing the psycho-stalker heel, and has impressed me a great deal with her performance both in and out of the ring during this whole angle. The clipboard was such a simple-yet-effective touch. I’d like to see Mickie lose the strap here; she was much better chasing than defending, as most babyfaces are. Perhaps Mickie can even contact her idol, Trish Stratus (off camera, of course) for advice in how to deal with Victoria, whom Trish knows extremely well, in prep for a rematch.
Winner – Victoria
Mickie James (c) vs. Victoria – Woman’s Championship
David Brashear: As much as I’ve enjoyed Victoria’s angle where she’s trying to injure everybody else in the women’s division, I think that this is where Mickie puts a stop to it.
Winner – Mickie James
Pulse Glazer: This should be the best match on the card.
Winner – James to continue the feud.
Danny Cox: Holy hell I don’t know what to do. In one corner is the women’s champion, my love, Mickie James. Then there is Victoria who has gone psycho again and turned extremely hot in the process. There is really no-one else on the roster who can hold their own with these two, unless they let Melina start wrestling more, so I say the feud continues.
Winner – “My facemask†Mickie James
Chris Biscuiti: Victoria has to get the win here if for no other reason than to put a little spark in the Women’s division by having Mickie chase the belt from now until ‘Mania.
Winner – Victoria
Jeff Hardy (c) vs. Johnny Nitro – Steel Cage Match – Intercontinental Championship
PK: These two have been through hell with each other the past few months. Numerous amounts of IC title matchs, 2 ladders matches, and now a steel cage. I expect this to be match of the night, by far, with a new IC Champ coming out of it.
Winner – Nitro
Matthew Michaels: Okay, so I lied. I don’t have THAT many babyfaces winning. In fact, after thinking long and hard about this one, the belt is better suited on the heel here as well. WWE is (rightfully) high on Nitro, the only Tough Enough winner still active in WWE, and he should win the gold here. That and we all know WWE will eventually reunite Matt and Jeff Hardy to go for tag team gold, which would make Jeff Hardy, Singles Champion just… complicated. I’m going with Mister Hennigan here.
Winner – Johnny Nitro
Eric Szulczewski: They’ve been swapping the belt back and forth for a few months now. Jeffykins would rather be swapping spit, but that damn bitch Melina’s always in the way. No swap here, though. Nitro’s just about ready for an elevation and might actually be beyond the secondary title at this point. Well, either that, or they’re going to get MNM back together permanently once they’re sure that Matthews is relatively drug-free. Either way, he’ll be out of the IC title picture after this.
Winner – Jeffykins
Iain Burnside: It seems simple enough. Get the singles belt off of Jeff so that he and Matt can finally get put on the same brand, preferably Smackdown, and team together full-time. Provide a fitting end to the Hardy/Nitro feud with a bloody blow-off in the cage (that phrase seems rather open to interpretation when dealing with Nero). Stop changing the IC title holder (and the US title holder for that matter) every sodding month and let somebody run with it to maintain some sort of reputation. They have big expectations for Nitro and Melina’s future, so he fits the bill better than Flaky Hardy, Shelton Overdone, Carry On Carlito or any of the other suspects on Raw. All logical signs point to a Nitro victory, which probably means he’ll lose, win it the next night on Raw, lose it the Rumble, win it back the next night, job it to Melina in the sack, beat her at No Way Out despite it being a Smackdown PPV, travel back in time to lose it to The Mountie on WWF Superstars, disguise himself as Bret Hart and defeat Roddy Piper for it at WrestleMania VIII, then return to live in a paradox whereby nothing makes sense and Cena is fighting a stereotype in the main event of a PPV.
Winner – get it in the healthy hands of JOHNNY NITRO and make it stick.
J. Botter: They’ve turned Johnny Nitro into a star over the past month with the Federline angle, and there’s no reason to have him drop a match here. Nitro winning will set up a rematch between MNM and the Hardy Boyz for Mania, and since that’s a match I’d like to see (especially if a ladder and Joey Mercury’s nose are involved), then that’s my prediction for this match.
Winner – Johnny Nitro
Vinny Truncellito: Not sure what’s up here. Nitro’s been getting a lot of spill-off heat with John Cena via the Federline affair, and hasn’t focused much on the IC title in the storylines. On the other hand, hardy’s been very busy reuniting with his brother of late, so he doesn’t seem too focused on the belt either. If it were a three way dance or fatal fourway, I could see some dark horse swooping in and taking the gold. Since it isn’t, I’ll go with Hardy retaining for now, I suppose.
Winner – Jeff Hardy
David Brashear: Johnny Nitro’s going to wind up with that belt again. With rumors flying about a major push in Nitro’s future, a win over Hardy would be a good way to get that started.
Winner – Johnny Nitro
Pulse Glazer: I have no actual problems with either of these guys, but Jeff losing the belt frees him up for a full time Hardyz reunion, which, like it or not, will draw. Since the E is desperate for draws…
Winner – Nitro
Danny Cox: Nitro has seriously come about. From Tough Enough to Bischoff’s lackey to tag champs to a solid singles wrestler. This match has the potential to be really enjoyable and I expect Chubbykins to try some “xtreme†moves that would make Sabu say “Awww man F- that!†Yet he’s held the title for a while so enough is enough and it’s time for a chan sorry.
Winner – Johnny Nitro
Chris Biscuiti: The likely Match of the Night candidate, as long as too many other people (Matt, Mercury, Melina, etc.) don’t get involved to the point of ridiculousness, which of course is inevitable with WWE booking these days.
Winner: Johnny Nitro
Rated RKO (c) vs. D-Generation X – World Tag Team Championship
PK: This is a tough one. Kenny helps Edge & Orton keep the titles, probably solidifying his spot on the team. This isn’t over though, I’d expect DX finally get the tag titles at Saturday Night’s Main Event.
Winners – Rated RKO
Matthew Michaels: I’m not sure if this is for the titles or not, and I actually think that matters in the outcome. So here’s my silly prediction, since I don’t think DX having the tag titles helps in the long run, as there’s no way they’ll drop the belts to, say, Haas and Benjamin…
Winner – If a title shot, Orton and Edge; if non-title, DX. (Of course now that I’ve said that, watch it be a title shot that ends in DQ, with DX beating Rated RKO so badly the ref stops the match.)
Eric Szulczewski: In order to fulfill my master plan of a six-man for Royal Rumble, there must be a heel victory/beatdown here. I can easily see this ending via DQ, but I don’t see a belt swap. In fact, that’s how I’ll go here. Expect a sledgehammer.
Winners – DX via DQ
Iain Burnside: Eric Bischoff said it in ’98 and I’ve been saying it for years as well – tag team wrestling is dead. Sure, it has its place in ROH and the like but not in the sports entertainment hitsville parade of WWE. The fact that they have split up and are in the process of reuniting the Hardy Boys, MNM, La Resistance, The World’s Greatest Tag Team and maybe even the Basham Brothers, not to mention the off-screen break-up and reunion of Cade & Murdoch, speaks volumes about how little interest they have in the so-called tag divisions nowadays. Obviously there are certain benefits in having tag team matches but they certainly don’t need to bother with two sodding sets of tag team titles. All of those returning teams and none of them have a chance of replicating the championship success of the Spirit Squad anytime soon. Wasteful. Now we’ve got a PPV match where the tag titles are nothing more than a prop to have DX lose since somehow that benefits them more than holding the belts would do. Perhaps Dysktra and Flair will get involved. Maybe that Rodimer fellow will turn up to dance. One certainty is that I won’t be watching and neither should you. No, not even by an illicit download. Save your money for more useful things like cheap cider, the Barry Manilow back catalogue, unnecessary surgery, a homemade three-disc special edition DVD of Three Men and a Little Lady or charitable donations.
Winners – the greatest double act since gym bags and Randy Orton, EDGE & RANDY ORTON
J. Botter: A World Tag Team Championship in the semi-main? What, did I go to sleep and wake up in 1990?
Winners – Rated RKO
Vinny Truncellito: As good as I think Edge and Orton are for each other and the titles right now, it’s inevitable that DX will ultimately defeat Rated RKO in their feud. I believe that all starts with the titles changing hands here.
Winner – D-Generation X
David Brashear: We’ve seen this all before. DX has built up this match as the feud-ender, which means that they have to win. The only problem is – what does this mean for the titles? Raw doesn’t have any teams that are believably going over Michaels and HHH. They don’t even have any teams that could believably go over Edge and Orton. I guess that’s tomorrow’s problem, as long as HHH and Michaels get their win and some gold.
Winners – DX
Pulse Glazer: In which DX continue to sate their own egos by taking the tag titles.
Winners – DX
Danny Cox: Her Piece (without Lita) have gotten the best of DX for about the past three weeks so it seems as if this will be an easy win for HBK and Trips. Yet I am really enjoying Orton and Edge all of a sudden. They aren’t playing the funny, comical heels but letting DX keep the comedy going. Her Piece is being cruel, pissy, and just downright
sadistic and I’m enjoying the hell out of it. There’s going to be some kind of shenanigans causing a DQ, but I hope somehow DX takes another beatdown.
Winners – Her Piece (sans Lita)
Chris Biscuiti: All signs point to Rated RKO getting a win over D-X to secure their status as the new obnoxious stable to reckon with. Oh, I forgot, Triple H and Shawn Michaels aren’t privy to such generosity.
Winner: D-Generation X – New Tag Champs and I bet the belts get a special makeover for Raw so that they can be sold at arenas and Internet Shop Zones.
John Cena (c) vs. Umaga – WWE Championship
PK: Well, expect a ‘Sports Entertainment’ finish here. I think DX/Rated RKO will end up being the last match, so they can get away with it. Cena gets himself DQed, probably accidentally. I wouldn’t expect Umaga to ever wear that spinner.
Winner – Umaga (via DQ)
Matthew Michaels: John Cena is WWE’s MVP from 2006. He stepped up his game, he drew more money/sold more merch than anyone else, and his matches were ALWAYS exciting even if they weren’t “in-ring masterpieces.” But just as he did a year ago at NYR, it’s again the RIGHT decision for the company to take the belt off of him. With no Wrestlemania main event featuring John Cena sounding the least bit enticing to me (Cena/HHH? Ugh. Cena/Orton? No way Orton deserves that spot after last year’s suspensions & other assorted bullshit), and with it making all the sense in the world that HHH would want to be in said main event slot at one of the biggest Manias ever, my money’s on Umaga staying undefeated here, and through the Rumble, then playing Yokozuna as he faces Hunter in Detroit.
Winner – Umaga (with possible help from a certain entertainment mogul and his IC Champ buddy)
Eric Szulczewski: Oh, it’s so hard to decide. Yes, I want the belt off Cena, permanently. However, the plan for the last two years has been to give Cena a Rumble victory. It was supposed to be DAVE two years ago, then Cena last year, but last year’s nightmare required Rey-Rey to win. So you can do the good old-fashioned booking here on an accelerated basis: give the title to Jamalga, give Cena a rematch on Raw, have Coachman make it a “last chance” situation, have Cena lose and everyone gloat that he’s not getting another title opportunity, have Cena win the Rumble Match, lather, rinse, repeat. Some people are going to claim that putting the title on Jamalga is a joke. Those same people seem to be clueless to the fact that the title is now on the biggest joke of all. In fact, Jamalga will give the title some credibility back. So let’s have Cena drop the title at the same PPV two years in a row, then have him reference that fact during his promo on Monday. And in the process, we have the most unlikely world champion in dog’s years.
Winner – Jamalga
Iain Burnside: So is this representative of how the USA sees life on Earth; the toy soldier triumphing over the unbeatable foreign savage? There is not enough reason in the world to waste it on this match. Don’t buy this PPV.
Winner – UMAGA. No, wait, the other guy. JOHN CENA
J. Botter: This is the first program in recent memory (outside of Edge/Cena) that has legitimate heat, and I’m hoping they don’t decide to feed Umaga to Cena. The right thing to do would be to have Umaga win cleanly and hold the belt for a long, long time, because at that point whoever beats him would get a huge boost. An Umaga win sets up several different money matches for Mania, the least of which would be rematch between Cena and Umaga. In wrestling, people pay money to see a babyface chase a heel for a title; that’s basic wrestling booking. It’s simple, but it’s effective, and I’m hoping that the E realize this while booking this match.
Winner – Umaga
Vinny Truncellito: I doubt they’ll formally end the undefeated streak here, but I can’t see the title changing hands, either. I guess we can look forward to a schmozz ending of some sort, perhaps involving Kevin Federline.
Winner – John Cena
David Brashear: Hope you’ve enjoyed the unbeaten streak, Umaga. Looks like the train stops here.
Winner – Cena
Pulse Glazer: Monster heels tend to draw and Umaga has been fairly well protected to this point. The money with Cena is clearly in the chase at this point and hopefully even the dense creative has enough evidence that that conclusion is unavoidable.
Winner – Umaga
Danny Cox: Over in the forums we have had numerous discussions about this for months, and I’m going to stick by my words. In the past six months, Umaga has pinfall victories over John Cena, Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Kane, Sabu, and Ric Flair. Yes not all of them have been clean, but he still did pin them. I had been predicting that by the end of 2006, he would have the WWE Title. I’m going to be a few days late, but my prediction is going to come true.
Winner – UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-MAGA
Chris Biscuiti: It’s a New Year, and so New Year’s Revolution will feature its fourth title change of the night, as Umaga’s undefeated streak continues and Cena loses the belt once more. Hey, at least Kevin Federline didn’t get the title shot!
Winner – Umaga
