WWE: The World Is Still Shocked From Last Night
Another week, another RAW. Keep the comments flowing until I’m able to get a Twitter widget on my column and keep it to the Pulse for the next two hours.
We’re live from my back yard in St. Louis. Shane O’Mac opens up our show tonight and he has to be pissed off. We go back to last week when Stephanie McMahon brought Shane McMahon out to be the equalizer. Last week, Shane was approached by Randy’s legal team. Randy wants Shane at No Way Out and we will get it…NO HOLDS BARRED! Shane isn’t going to simply pin Randy Orton, he’s going to make sure Randy can’t compete at Wrestlemania. Harsh words from Shane and this brings out Randy Orton.
Randy says that Shane must be pretty sure of himself. He’s curious as to how Shane did it. How did Shane single-handedly beat the three top stars on RAW. The answer, he didn’t. Randy told Ted & Cody to not fight back. Even Randy didn’t fight back. Randy played it smart, thinking that if he fought back, the entire roster would got involved. He can do what he wants to Shane at No Way Out. He tells Shane to call the hospital that Vince is in and order another bed because he’s going to join him. Randy edges closer to the ring and Shane gets ready for the confrontation, but Randy turns around like a coward and he walks back to put the microphone down. Orton inches to the ring again and the jacket comes off. Randy teases entering the ring and Shane knows its a set up. Shane picks up a kendo stick and he whips Cody and Ted with it! The Legacy take a powder for tonight and we go to break.
Commercials.
IT’S CLOBBERIN’ TIME…AND IT’S MICKIE TIME!
CM Punk & Mickie James v. William Regal & Layla London
Next week, it will be Regal v. Punk for the Intercontinental Championship! Punk and Regal start off and Regal gets a headlock applied. Regal fires off the rops and connects with a shoulderblock. Puk’s answer: Spinning heel kick. Punk uses his MMA kicks to kick Regal to Layla’s corner. Punk goes to tag Mickie, but Regal attacks from behind and kicks Punk out of the ring. He distracts Mickie, which allows Layla to get on the offensive. Mickie fires back with some rights, but Layla answers with a kick. Mickie avoids the turnbuckle and they both clothesline each other. Regal and Punk come back in and Punk hits the kicks, slaps, kicks, kicks, and more kicks! Regal takes a powder out of the ring and Layla is used as a shield. Mickie takes care of Layla and Punk gets on the apron…REGAL SWEEPS THE LEG AND PUNK IS OUT ON THE FLOOR! Regal is back in the ring and we’re looking for the countout. Punk gets in…KNEE LIFT TO THE HEAD BY REGAL! Regal gets the win.
Winners: William Regal & Layla
Grade: C+
Mickie checks on Punk; who has to be in California right about now.
4/7/1986: Wrestlemania is live from three cities in the same night!
Commercials.
Tonight, JBL will give out an employee performance appraisal on Shawn Michaels tonight.
Rhodes & DiBiase make their way to the ring, beaten and bruised from Shane McMahon.
Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase v. Cryme Tyme
JTG starts off with DiBiase and DiBiase goes to work JTG flips over and he suddenly takes over control less than thirty seconds into the match. JTG hits a top rope facebuster for two. Dragon Screw by Rhodes and he follows with a kick to assume control Back and forth action right now as Rhodes gets a tag. JTG shoves Rhodes to the corner. Roll through into a mount position and Rhodes continues the pressure. Rear naked choke is applied on JTG and Shad is cheering his partner on. Rhodes and JTG collide head first and both men go down. SHad gets in and so does DiBiase! Shad plays the power game and out goes Cody. Scoop slam by Shad and he drops the elbow for two. Rhodes breaks the count and he ignores the five count to get out of the ring, thus drawing the DQ. It’s two on one and they both level Shad with a SPIKE DDT!
Winners via DQ: Cryme Tyme
Grade: C-
Referees check on Shad as we go to the newsbites about Mickey Rourke.
Chris Jericho makes his way out to the ring to talk…NEXT!
Commercials.
Backstage, Randy Orton talks inaudibly with Cody & Ted and we cut to Chris Jericho inside the ring. He respects Mickey Rourke as a movie star, but disrespects Rourke as someone who is a has-been. He names off legends who can’t simply leave, most notably Ric Flair. He talks about how Flair is tarnishing his legacy by doing autograph signings and shoot interviews. Jericho says that the legends need to be put in their place. He talks until Cena says it is enough. Without the legends, Jericho wouldn’t be in the ring. Cena calls Jericho an idiot. Cena points out Jericho’s claim to the past as an Undisputed World Champion and how Jericho has been fired TWICE and he’s still here, not staying away. They have a match tonight and Cena is going to do the one thing he can do, shut Chris Jericho up.
The High Flyers take on the Monsters…NEXT!
Commercials.
WWE Slam of the Week: Kofi defeats Kane via a sunset flip.
Kofi Kingston & Rey Mysterio v. Kane & Mike Knox
We learn that Mike Knox qualified for the Elimination Chamber at No Way Out in a battle royal over the weekend. Kane takes it to Kofi, reminding him what happens when you beat him. Kofi kicks Kane out of the ring and we go to break!
Commercials.
We’re back and Kane has Kofi in his clutches. Kofi mounts a comeback, but Kane counters the sunset flip attempt. Kofi breaks out of Kane’s clutches with a dropkick! Tag to Rey and they double team a bit. Kane swats Rey away and Rey kicks him into the 619 position. Kane rolls out of the ring and Rey hits a seated senton on the outside! Back inside the ring, Kane jacks Rey in the jaw and tags in Mike Knox. He takes Rey corner to corner, but misses the charge. Rey tries to fight back and he hits a springboard. Kofi hits a blind tag and he hits a forearm! Rey hits a double footstomp and Kofi drops the legs for TWO! Kofi mounts Knox in the corner and Knox tries to slam Kofi on the mat…but Kofi lands on his feet. BIG BOOT BY KNOX AND THIS IS OVER! NO! Kofi kicks out. Kofi gets sent to the heel corner and Kane tags in. He hits a sidewalk slam and he boots the back of Kofi’s head. Kofi gets sent to the corner hard and Kane drags him to Knox. Knox works a variant of the chickenwing. To the ropes Kofi goes…FLAPJACK! Tag to Kane and he continues the punishment. Sidewalk slam is countered to an enzugiri! Kane boots Rey in the face to prevent the tag. Tag to Knox and he drops the knee to Kofi’s head. Knox tees off on Kofi. Kofi tries to fight back. Kofi flies off with a cross body and both men are down! Kofi goes to his corner and Rey gets back to the corner. Kane prevents the tag and he is the legal man. Kofi lands on Kane’s shounders and he gets out of his clutches and gets Rey in the match. Rey takes the big man off and he hits the springboard leg drop for two! Kofi takes out Knox out of the ring. Kingston goes for the plancha, but Knox COUNTERS AND SLAMS HIM HARD ON HIS KNEE! Rey gets Kane ready for the 619, but Knox stops it. Rey off the ropes…CAUGHT AND CHOKESLAMMED TO THE CANVAS! That is done.
Winners: Kane & Mike Knox
Grade: B
Rey and Kofi are both hurt as we go to the back. Stephanie and Shane walk and LEGACY AMBUSHES! Stephanie is taken out in the collison. Security tries to break it up and they are OWNED! Shane teases kicking Shane, but he eyes Stephanie McMahon. He goes for it. Shane sacrifices himself for Stephanie and he gets KICKED HARD IN THE BACK!
Commercials.
We’re back and we review what happened. It will truly be No Way Out for Randy Orton.
3/20/1994: Wrestlemania returns to the Garden. We had Owen and Bret putting on a clinic. This was also the first ever televised ladder match between Razor Ramon and Shawn Michaels.
JBL is watching the TV as we go to break.
Commercials.
Here’s a funny: More men watched SmackDown than Dateline last week. These “Did You Knows” are starting to suck.
Candice Michelle is here!
Candice Michelle v. Beth Phoenix (w/Rosa Mendez & Santino Marella)
The bell sounds and they lock up. Arm drag by Beth and they lock up again. Beth takes Candice down again, but Beth gets posted in the corner. Top rope assisted back drop connects and Beth mounts before going for the cover. That gets two. Candice gets in the torture rack and she gets out of it. Candice gets a rollup for twp. Beth misses a clothesline and gets dropped on the back of her head. Second rope kick to the head gets only two. Candy Wrapper gets countered to a shove in the corner. Glam Slam connects and that is all.
Winner: Beth Phoenix
Grade: D+
Post match, Rosa Mendez tosses Candice Michelle out of the ring and Santino plays the rusty trombone.
Chris Jericho warms up for Cena in the back. So much for the retirement, as Chris Jericho is officially on notice. Ric Flair will be on RAW…NEXT WEEK!
Commercials.
We’re back and JBL is heading to the ring to give out Shawn’s public performance appraisal. He explains what it is and he wants to assess the value of his employee. Shawn makes his way to the ring and grabs a microphone. He reminds us the reasons why JBL hired him and he fufilled his end of the proposal. He only had one reason to hire Shawn Michaels and that was to assure that JBL would be champion come Wrestlemania. Shawn says that he laid down for JBL, he assured that JBL would beat Cena. Shawn had Cena beat last week and JBL interferred, so the blame goes to JBL. JBL says that the fault is Shawn’s and Shawn’s alone. JBL asks Shawn if he wants released from his contract and Shawn says that he honestly wants to kick his teeth down his throat. JBL assures that if Shawn does it that Shawn’s life would suffer. Shawn asks JBL what he wants from him. JBL makes a proposal. Shawn v. JBL – WINNER TAKE ALL! If Shawn beats JBL, JBL will pay Shawn a handsome severance package. If JBL wins, he owns the name “Shawn Michaels”. Shawn accepts the match! JBL goes to taunt Shawn saying that he can’t touch him until No Way Out. JBL slaps Shawn in the face and Shawn looks like he is going to explode. He leaves the ring and heads to the back as the main event is NEXT!
Commercials.
We are back and we recap what happened to the McMahon siblings. Meanwhile, Kane is talking to Stephanie McMahon and he is given the Elimination Chamber spot just for getting the Undertaker to destroy Randy Orton next week!
MAIN EVENT TIME!
Chris Jericho v. John Cena
Cena wastes no time BEATING JERICHO TO A PULP! Cena hits the rights and lefts. He turns his back and pays for it as Jericho takes it to cena. Cena kicks away and he posts Jericho. Pillar to post we go and Cena hits a bulldog, taking a page out of Jericho’s book! Cena drives the elbow to Jericho’s back and he waits for Jericho. Side slam connects and Cena is intensifing the encounter. Jericho reverses a whip, but Cena ends up taking Jericho out of the ring. Cena chases after Jericho and he kicks Cena across the announcer’s table! Time for our last break.
Commercials.
We’re back and Jericho has Cena in a headlock. Cena is fading away a bit, but here comes SUPER CENA! Throwback try, but Jericho counters with a faceplant! That gets TWO! Jericho hits a springboard dropkick that sends Cena off the apron near the announce table! Chioda is counting and Cena makes it back in the ring at nine-and-a-half. Jericho is relentless in the assault. He toys with Cena with the slaps and BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX BY CENA! Desparation attempt by Cena and he gets back up. He eats a dropkick from Jericho for two and Cena is in the corner. Jericho tees off and he takes Cena corner to corner. Jericho misses the corner and his shoulder eats the ring post. Cena off the ropes with a shoulder tackle. The Throwdown connects and Cena is on fire! Cena does a little five knuckle shuffle, but Jericho does see Cena and tries the walls. Cena reverses with a rollup for two. Cena with the STF, but Jericho rolls him up for two. Cena eats an elbow, followed by the Lionsault…FOR TWO! Jericho misses a charge and Cena hits the Protobomb! Five Knuckle Shuffle connects and Cena goes for the Throwback, but the King calls it the Attitude Adjuster! Jericho lands on his feet and Jericho goes for the Codebreaker…BLOCKED BY CENA! Cena runs into a big boot. Cena hefts Jericho up for the Attitude Adjuster, but Jericho counters with the Walls of Jericho! Cena fights for the ropes, but Jericho pulls away. Cena ROLLS THROUGH AND LOCKS ON THE STF! Jericho taps out!
Winner: John Cena
Grade: B+
Ric Flair and the Undertaker will be on RAW next week!
Cena stands tall as we head out.
Show over.
The WWE RAW Report Card
John Cena d. Chris Jericho: B+
Beth Phoenix d. Candice Michelle: D+
Kane & Mike Knox d. Rey Mysterio & Kofi Kingston: B
Cryme Tyme d. Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase: C-
William Regal & Layla d. CM Punk & Mickie James: C+
Extra Credit: JBL & Shawn Michaels will risk it all at No Way Out
The Final Grade for WWE RAW 2.2.2009: C+/B-
No Way Out is shaping up to be a must watch Pay-Per-View and next week’s RAW is gearing up to be one for the ages. Decent tag bout with Kane & Mike Knox tonight, they exceeded my expectations and look to be a dominant team should they stay together. Cena & Jericho is guaranteed to be good and it delivered. The others were watchable. Excellent promo work tonight. Overall, a decent RAW. Keep an eye out for 10 Thoughts for RAW and your Tuesday dosage of commentaries. I’ll be back Thursday. Have a great week!
