The SmarK Rant for IMPACT Wrestling – 11.03.11
Taped from Macon, GA.
Your hosts are Mike Tenay & Taz
James Storm joins us to question whether there’s any beer drinkers in Georgia. I’m gonna guess yes. That’s actually a pretty good way to get a pop from the crowd wherever you are. He notes that his tombstone will now say “World champion†next to “beer drinkerâ€, which is as good a reason as any to win a title, I guess. He’s probably not gonna be a fighting champion because he likes to watch football on Sundays. Man, Storm has some really serious charisma in this role. It’s a pretty unique character as well, kind of a laid back version of Steve Austin. So he brings out Bobby Roode, in preparation for their title match tonight. Storm notes that Roode got screwed by Angle, so tonight he should bring it and make sure he doesn’t blow his second chance at the title. Roode agrees that it shall be brought, and they’ll know who the better man is tonight.
Knockouts Tag titles:Â Tara & Miss Tessmacher v. Gail Kim & Madison Rayne
Tenay notes that the champions have dominated the women’s tag division for four months now. This is the first time I’ve actually seen them wrestle as a team, so I’d have to dispute that statement. Kim & Rayne are accompanied by Karen Angle and Tracy Brooks for some reason. Brooke and Tara control Madison with a double suplex, and Kim comes in and gets clotheslined by Tara a few times. Back to Rayne, who gets dropkicked by Brooke and stinkfaced. “Get your butt out of her face!†yells Karen, which I found really funny for some reason. This distraction allows the heels to take over as Kim gets a facelock on Brooke, but Rayne screws up again and allows the hot tag to Tara. A brawl erupts as this thing kind of goes off a cliff and Tara gets the Widow’s Peak on Rayne. But alas, the ref is distracted, and Kim hits Tara with her jawbreaker finisher to give them the title at 5:00. Truly the most prestigious women’s tag team title in wrestling today. *1/2
Uncle Eric Jr. comes out to apologize to his father for turning heel and such. But then, SHOCKINGLY, he attacks Bischoff and lays him out. So I guess he’s a babyface now after turning heel a couple of weeks ago? Is he an actual wrestler now instead of a referee?
Sting runs into Samoa Joe backstage, and Joe demands respect and dignity. He’s been in TNA for 6 years now, I’d say it’s a bit late for that. Eric Bischoff interrupts and demands that Sting, who is now in charge, put Garrett Bischoff in a match.
Christopher Daniels wanders around backstage giving a monologue about how he’s on a winning streak since turning heel, and he wants title shots. He brags about beating RVD last week, but fails to notice Rob standing behind him, and the brawl is on. Daniels runs away yet again.  What a great role for Daniels, as he’s totally believable as the smarmy, lying heel who brags about his accomplishments and runs away from a fight. You don’t want your main event guys to be playing that kind of character, but for a midcard guy it’s terrific.
Jesse Sorenson v. Austin Aries
This is non-title. Jesse gets a quick rollup for two and a backslide for two. Aries offers a handshake and then lays him out, and drops an elbow for two. Sorenson tosses him and tries a dive, but Aries calmly moves out of the way, then follows with his own suicide dive. AA’s timing is just fantastic. Back in, he gets two. Aries with a cool kneecrusher->backdrop suplex combo, and an elbow gets two. He misses a blind charge and Sorenson comes back with a series of high knees and a dropkick for two. To the top, but he whiffs on a bodypress and Aries dropkicks him into the corner. Another one sets up the brainbuster, but Sorenson gets a fluke small package for the pin at 4:48. Really good TV match, as Aries was just awesome here carrying things. ***
Meanwhile, James Storm reflects on the title match tonight, as does Bobby Roode.
Robbie E calls out Eric Young and the guy from Jersey Shore. Apparently Robbie has issues with the quasi-celebrity, and tells him so while standing behind Rob Terry. This prompts a fight, and the so-called TV star gets laid out by Terry as a result. This sets up a match next week, apparently. Don’t care.
Bully Ray & Jeff Jarrett v. Jeff Hardy & Mr. Anderson
Bully pounds on the jailbird in the corner, but gets dropkicked. Over to JJ, and Hardy clotheslines him out of the corner. Cheapshot turns the tide and the heels double-team Hardy, leading to a Bully splash for two. Jarrett chokes him out on the ropes, but Hardy reverses a sleeper attempt into a backdrop suplex. Hot tag Anderson, and he gets a neckbreaker on Bully for two. The faces team up with the Whisper in the Wind, but Scott Steiner runs in for the DQ at 4:55. Well that went nowhere. *1/2 Hardy did not look like his usual self out there. Perhaps he’s been hardened by jail time and is a changed man as a result.
Meanwhile, Sting offers Garrett Bischoff a chance to wrestle in exchange for rewriting Eric’s contract.
Matt Morgan joins us, and he’s looking for Crimson. Apparently he gets hundreds of Tweets from fans wanting to know when they’re going to wrestle. But is it trending on Twitter? Anyway, Crimson would also like a match. Didn’t they already have a match on PPV with Samoa Joe? Whatever.
TNA World title:Â James Storm v. Bobby Roode
They trade headlocks to start to show how well they know each other, and each guy misses a kneedrop. They’re still at a stalemate and they start again. And we take a break. Why would you cut 4 minutes out of your main event? That’s just obnoxious. Back with them trading chops in the corner, but Storm evades a Perfect necksnap from Roode and gets a corner clothesline. Roode slugs him down and goes up, but Storm brings him down with a superplex and both guys are out. They slug it out and Storm comes back with clotheslines and a backdrop, but misses a blind charge. Roode with a Buff blockbuster for two. Storm gets a kick from the apron and goes up with a cross body, but Roode rolls through for two. Storm with a backstabber for two. Storm tries the helicopter storm, but Roode escapes and gets two. Storm takes him to the floor with a Cactus clothesline and both guys are out again, but Roode catches him with a crossface on the way back into the ring. Storm gets the ropes to break, and they head to the top again. This time Storm brings him down and drops the elbow for two. He sets up for the superkick, but Roode grabs the leg and goes for the fisherman’s suplex, which Storm escapes from as well because they know each other so well. The ref gets bumped, and with Roode increasingly desperate not to blow his second shot at the title, he grabs Storm’s beer bottle, breaks it over his head, and finally wins the TNA World title at 18:00. This was much more understated than your usual TNA main event, actually, which is nice because it makes you feel like they could go into another gear for the PPV rematch. Oh, what, they’re not having a rematch on PPV? Oh, that wacky TNA. *** I was really digging this James Storm as champion vibe, and I’m completely baffled that they’d hotshot the belt to Roode already, especially burning through a six month storyline in two weeks like this.
That being said, it was a good show with a minimum of crap, and it’s better than RAW as of late, so that’s all I’m looking for out of it and it delivered.
