Okay, this is going to be a short one. My patience with the Tanner family is growing ever thinner. On today’s episode, DJ and Steve go one a date, Jackson and Max play some games, and Fernando woos Kimmy. I think you can probably surmise where that goes based on the title. Give me a break.
Here are some thoughts.
1. Another throwaway joke that depicts reckless behavior
Look, I don’t really care. But this show purports to be for family, and there is nothing but questionable behavior being displayed by these characters. In the first few seconds, Steph puts headphones playing loud music on baby Tommy’s ears. If this is supposed to be a show for families, they shouldn’t be showing behavior that can be duplicated by stupid kids.
2. I’m done with DJ, she is the worst
The whole “oooooo I can’t decide between Matt and Steve so I’ll just date both” thing is bullshit. She’s making out with two different men, dating both of them, with the understanding that she’s going to pick one over the other. Why is this a family show? That is a horrendous thing to depict as positive.
3. Steve literally represents going back in time and that explains why the writers love him
He walks into their house in a wig and a letterman jacket. Steph actually says he represents the past. The character is utterly repugnant and creepy, but the writers clearly want us to like him because he represents their glory days. But he’s a total creep.
4. Ugh enough with the 80’s
Every other sentence is a reference to the 80’s. We get it, you peaked in the 80’s. Move on, every one else has.
5. Steve is terrible! He stole Kimmy’s sandwich!
Kimmy is making a sandwich inspired by the kid’s game of Jenga. It’s a very tall sandwich, I will grant her that. Steve takes DJ out on a date, but before they leave, he comes back inside and takes the sandwich out of her hands. WHY are we rooting for this guy!? He’s so clearly awful, but everyone always laughs it off like it’s hilarious IT’S NOT HILARIOUS.
6. Max’s victory dance is the only good thing about this episode
Jackson, with advice from Steph, lets Max win a round of Jenga and Max’s ensuing victory dance is typically charming and funny. Too bad the rest of the show can’t be like that.
7. WHERE IS THE BABY
Seriously, we see the baby twice and the rest of the time he’s just gone. We jump around to different characters and clearly none of them are watching him, which means that kid is just sitting in his crib by himself. These are terrible people who are bad at child rearing.
8. Steve is trying to get DJ drunk
He pours her wine. She says that’s enough. He keeps pouring. She says that’s enough. He keeps pouring until the wine is almost overflowing. What are we supposed to surmise from this? Obviously, Steve is trying to get DJ drunk. Why would he do that? Because he thinks it would be easier to score. Oh, wait, that’s right. Intentionally getting someone drunk so you can engage with them sexually IS CALLED RAPE. WHY WHY WHY are we supposed to be rooting for this guy!?!!?
9. Steph sings to Kimmy and it’s weird
Fernando has a big plan to sing to Kimmy as a big romantic gesture. But he gets too choked up because he’s a bad character. So Steph sings to her and Kimmy gets so caught up, she makes out with Steph. Okay, I’m a little tired of same-sex making out as a punchline.
10. Okay, the other good thing is that hawk
Fernando asks Kimmy to divorce him, then immediately asks her to marry him again by summoning a hawk with a ring around it’s neck. I have to admit, that’s pretty cool.
+ Max’s victory dance
+ That baller-ass hawk
– Steve is a terrible person and potential rapist
– DJ is also terrible and selfish
– No one is good at child care
Check out previous reviews for Fuller House below!
Fuller House – Our Very First Show, Again
Fuller House – Moving Day
Fuller House – Funner House
Fuller House – Mad Max
Fuller House – The Legend of El Explosivo
Fuller House – Ramona’s Not-So-Epic Party
Fuller House – Secrets, Lies, and Firetrucks
Fuller House – The War of the Roses
Fuller House – A Giant Leap
Fuller House – Partnerships in the Night
Tags: Full House, Fuller House, Netflix, Netflix Original, save the dates